Sunday, December 28, 2008

siMpLe wARfarE aND kiDs

you'd think i could hold my own against a four year old. ya... you'd think that.
but you wud be WRONG.

oh i know that face. that innocent look of yours. >_< you think your soo soo smart. heyy you might have got everyone around you fooled. but not me. i'm onto you. yes sirree. everybody thinks aaw your soo cute. so innocent, but only i know that mind of yours is working tick tock thinking on how to get what you want and how to manipulate the foolish adults who bend to your every whim. next step ... WORLD DOMINATION!! :O
aaaaHAA! i'm onto u.. i'm watching your every move. my eyes are on you. *_*

what? she's only four. don't talk about only four. who's the one that laughed like a maniacal Shakespearean villain while saying "ha ha plucking your hair out one by one makes me laugh" or "ha ha i like pulling your hair so i want to do it"
or who was the one who hit me with the wooden folding chair [ just can't get over the image of a tiny tot coming up behind me while i was reading my book, lifting that wooden folding chair and hitting me on the head with it ] or who was the one who threw a tantrum that she didn't like me so didn't want to sit next to me in the car, which ended up in me sitting in the end space of an SUV. [ you know the seat? with no leg space?? AND i got a purple bruise from a mistake i made in disembarking procedure... [[ trust me getting out of that car NEEDED a procedure ]] ] or who was the one who somehow caught my thumb between the spokes of the wooden chair and almost broke the bone all the time laughing hysterically [ heyy THAT HURT LIKE HELL ] and somehow everytime it was ME who ended up making a public apology. i don't know why. even my cousins , the 6 and 8 yr old were savvy enough to ask me, "is she annoying you?" and all i could do was grimace in pain and limp away with some part of my dignity [ hopefully ].

how did i find myself making an SOS call to K every few hours? and the last he heard was me screaming and fighting off the kids who were jumping me from every which way, pulling my hair, stuffing their sock clod foot in my mouth.... aaaaaaaaaaaa. man overboard. officer down. need assistance immediately.

no no no >_< i CAN'T hold my own against any four year old. years ago i had made a critical observation that maybe they're all aliens who are watching over when they can take control of the planet. i take that back. its insulting to aliens to put them on the same level. no ways they're aliens. i'd recognize them. they're pure evil man. using that innocent face to get what they want. EVERY SINGLE TIME.
thats pure genius. :O

oh you THINK they're not capable of emotional warfare too? tell that to my man who was left swimming in his own tears after the battle. no one can be as mean as a four year old girl >_<

HEYY quit kicking my shins....i give up. I GIVE UP. wait let me tear my t-shirt off and wave the WHITE FLAG OF SURRENDER. OFFICERS RETREAT. EVERYBODY RETREAT. WE GIVE UP. WE GIVE UP....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah


ps: the next person who says i shud get married and have a kid will have a nice lil chat with my BAZOOKA.

oh and i finally got to cut a cake [ yaay ] and my cousin says. what did u wish for? did u wish for a husband? :D
[ WHAT THE.... ] she's frickin EIGHT man. she's not even supposed to know about marriage. and she's like when are u getting married? aren't you getting old?

by the WAY i think i might have taught them some new cuss words today. WOOPS.
also you think i didn't get r-e-v-e-n-g-e on the adults for sicing their kids on me and watching the movie?? he he i introduced their kids to CALVIN my GOD. :D

AND i found a new way to get rid of unwanted guests. first you make a couple of total brat kids. if u can't, borrow from somewhere. then u sic them on said unwanted guests. if borrowed, then casually mention their arrival next time unwanted guests make noises about visiting you. perfect results guaranteed.
downside: if u made em, then ur stuck with em forEVER.

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