Monday, February 28, 2011

wHy sO mAny S@!%#y dAYs?

everyone seems to be in a foul mood in the office.

everyone lives with their own set of prejudices about what would work, what is easy, what is hard and what they just don't wanna do.

and sometimes even the most amiable of characters turn into complete morons and start snapping back at you when all you do is ask them for a serial to USB cable.

aaah the ides of march.

what DO I do, when P asks me.. "what is that BUG?? is it the symbol for android???"


< crickets chirping >

< appalled silence >

"uhh, sorry? what did you say? sorry the voices in my head were too busy laughing out loud in derision at your s****** for me to hear what you said"

finally sent off the h/w guy.. poor slob was crying that the s/w was too complex. and it was just too messed up. well welcome to our world buddy.

btw the word up there could be smelly.. well it COULD!

Friday, February 25, 2011

bAttLE cOnTiNUes

what ! you dare enter my lair??? [ ok my cube ]

why P, you have grown more bold and daring in the last few hours since i have declared war!!

this deed shall not go unanswered.

you enter my cubicle, i curse you with rotten tomatoes. < where all your tomatoes will rot 2x faster than normal in your fridge.. yes i'm devious >


coming in to my cube and saying i'm watching a movie! when all i'm doing is listening to some songs.

and you! YOU! you who were snoring in the meeting yesterday. i had the good grace not to poke you in the face while you were sitting next to me and snoring away to glory.

you.. YOU who was constantly harping about cookies and coffee when all you had to do was walk to the vending machine , put a dollar in and buy your own darn cookies!

grrrr ... how i hate thee , my arch nemesis and the curses of a thousand locusts on you.

fiGHtiNg tHe gOoD bAtTLe

aaaaaha! P! i am hereforth and henceforth declaring you as my arch nemesis of the workplace.

you have shown urself to be worthy of this title , through your dastardly deeds and twisting of basic facts of life and physics.

evil madam!! we are now at war! you are advised to stay to your side of the darkest abyss which is the second floor of our office and i shall defend my side of this hellish abyss.

ha! better beware P... i am fully cognizant of your manipulations and trickery. and also pure stupidity which is by far the most dangerous of the dark arts you practice.
but behold! i hold the axe of truth and physics and laws of nature with which i shall cleave your wicked arguments into a million pieces and render them useless!!

now begone! flee from the bright light of logic and reasonableness, run away and hide in your hidey hole...

au revoir
until our next battle.

< bows and exits meeting room >

[ wish i could suddenly stand up in the middle of a meeting, say this and leave in a hurry. expressions would be priceless ]

gOdS gEt aNGry , sO doN't diSs tHEm

ha ha it was funny yesterday.

i had to walk this dude through some s/w setup.

so now , Dude .. and i mean literally a hippie looking kind of dude, walks up to me and says he needs my help to install this s/w right..
since he was gonna help me fix my problems somehow, i was like "sure man, no prob. lets get started", and i grab by SD card.

now he spends atleast a good 15 minutes ranting about how linux is so messed up, and you have to do everything so manually. omg formatting the drive... so hard. < ofcourse i learnt how to do it, just a week ago. so now i can act all high and superior in front of the ignorant h/w folks >

so he says he's a h/w genius and a s/w idiot. hmmm well ur some kind of idiot.
and he rants about how they're team thought they would save a feq bucks by outsourcing to india, and its been such a waste, coz they didnt get any good results of moving part of the team there.
and how everybody is so effed up and no work is getting done.. and blah and blah and blah.

so i was briefly flummoxed about how to move an 8GB OS to a 4GB card, when he declared everything was useless. he had this awesome s/w on windows to copy/write any GB OS to any GB filesystem as long as the actual data was within the limits of the smaller filesystem. and lo and behold! he produced the s/w. installed it. and tada! did his magic.

unfortunately, it didn't work.

unfortunately due to some incorrect settings , he formatted his office laptop and lost his entire HDD.


well that shows you should never anger the linux s/w gods. retribution is swift!!!

aVoiD cAtChiNg sTuPidiTy

have you every really pondered the big questions in life?? i mean like the serious one's ??


"dude ... why are my hands so red today??"


"am i allergic to soy sauce and stupidity??"

i think i'm allergic to soy sauce. just ate some soy sauce soaked veggies last night and today i was like half an ounce bloated. < are you crazy if you notice half an ounce of bloating in your overly reddish hands?? >
i'm definitely allergic to stupidity.

have i said that before???

some ppl are stupid. and the rest are just plain messed up. but its the stupid you gotta look out for..

they're dangerous man.

its like they have some radar in their brains man.. that... that kind of forces them to go headlong into every pothole in their way. and if your not careful they'll just drag you along with them man....

how do you tell if your allergic to stupidity ??? you start sneezing when infected ppl come near?? hey! i sneezed just now, and A just walked by.. hmmm... must monitor A for more signs of infection.

no? how about if they come up to you and speak complete random c**** ??
and your face turns an interesting shade of purple that isn't found in nature??

whatever it is, we better figure it out. fast. coz pssst, they're increasing in numbers man.. and soon they're gonna be everywhere..

shhhh.... P just walked by.


hide under the desk before she sees you.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

iT's toO bRiGhT anD i MiSs mY bEsT fRiENd


its snowing.


means i'm not going to office. also means i'm brewing myself a cup of hot hot tea.. maybe some pakodas... some music... and sleep in.

did you SEE , how many posts i have on the weather??? it's not natural i tell you.. just not natural.


life is tough without my TV. i think i miss it more than...anything :P
how did my brain get stimulated before? without the constant influx of flashing images on the electronic tube ?? < i'm sure some smartass is gonna point out how incredible inaccurate i am... the tv is not an electronic tube.. its a cuboid !! ok ok i get it jeez >

Sigh… I miss my HGFNHC and ABHDC

Its interesting to be in a room full of people , trying to have an all day or couple of days meeting.
You have the constantly-tell-you-how-much-they-work ppl, the doing-anything-is-pointless ppl, the oh-just-relax ppl, the clueless ppl < these are like locusts and termites. They are everywhere > , the omg-sky-is-falling ppl and the how-do-I-get-credit-for-doing-nothing ppl.. Just to name a few.

I'm sure I can think of more categories if I put my mind to it, but I got too much to do and the sky is falling. My boss is clueless and my partner tells me to oh, just relax coz doing anything is pointless anyways…

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

aLl dAy LoNg

working in I****, teaches you two things.

how to multi-multi-infy-multi-task.. which is listen to some BS on the side, keep blogging, spy on P playing some local office politics, working, chatting, etc etc

how to .. ok, i forgot...

man these day long meetings are boring.. almost brain deadening.

and man some folks play a lot of stupid local politics in the office. including have multiple meetings on the side with individual folks ...


ok perhaps this is beyond boring if we are discussing the egg yolk color between Europe and US chickens.

people over here are so not listening to this meeting...


ok nothing else of interest to report. except for the fact that P is acting weird again.. what is Wrong with THAT woman??? neither do i understand your random jokes and nor do i care that your going to india for only 2 days. first of all, i don't understand what it is that you do ... and second of all this hopping between continents is not really working for us.... perhaps you can stay in one.. the one far away from me. far far faaaar away from where i live.


now shooo go away.

oh my god! i just found out, P the crazy lady has ordered glasses exactly like my new one's. :O that's bad.. that's very very bad. dude, she's nuts and she's like ... FORTY.

ugh ...

Friday, February 18, 2011

hOw diFfiCuLt iS it tO saY No?

its takes a lot of kahunas (kahonas?) to ditch it all and walk away.

a friend of mine finally sent a lengthy goodbye email. R's gonna work her way through S. America volunteering and working in remote villages. its gonna take her 4 months and she'll land in india much the wiser.

kudos!! i think thats simply awesome !

ofcourse i wish i was going too.. ofcourse ... for sure..

but when i read her email, i remember the bygone days when i really really was even considering that. and researching/figuring out how i could do that.

turned out i was too much of a cheapo to pay my way across latin america. and then i heard the kidnapping stories. someone in our company sent out an email about being kidnapped and held hostage for money to be wired from the US.


ofcourse another thing about the virtuous is the de-facto superiority they(we?) feel on being so virtous. by god was i ever that pompous and deluded with the sense of my grandiosity?? ha! must have been nice....

aaah peru, machu pichu and argentina.. when will i ever live amid your awesome mountains and think to myself how blessed i am??