Wednesday, December 31, 2008

hApPy nEW YEAR tO e1

heyy AAAA,
sorry i missed ur call. was in a party. who knew middle aged ppl with pre teen kids cud party so wild!! on the other hand i might be really really sub standard in the party scene thing.

u soo missed it, seeing me in drag i mean. u know i was trying it for the first time. applying heavy duty makeup myself. yeah didn't turn out that great. but the good news is that kids didn't run screaming when they saw my face. yaay :)

nyhooo happy new yr!! and no i'm not drunk. just a lil tired out from dancing like insane. normally i don't do the whole happy new yr and all that jazzy stuff, but this yr i'm soo buzzed u know.. so here it goes. happy new yr!!
may all your troubles last as long as your new yr resolutions!! ok ok MY new yr resolutions!!
what else? oh ya noo i'm not drunk. another yr ushered in sober, where i'm still single. and [ no no not ready to mingle... that's so tacky , maaan ] wait why am i talking about being single?? must be really buzzed. wat i meant to say was where i still didn't have a single drink. so prob means i'll end yr 2009 a teetotaller too.

k now i'm too bussed.... no buzzed. so happy new yr and have a.......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
< fallen flat on the screen >

Ca'T nOT faCe iT

nyhooo what do you do when ur confronted with the stupidity of the world and the harsh harsh reality of it. no matter how you try to ignore it, it just smacks you in the face. heyy you can avoid the news, stop reading the papers... since todays news is anyways obsolete tomoro and its already tomoro in australia, all news is automatically rendered redundant [ ya thats why i stay away from the news. pfft ]
and yet, your whacked in the head by reality and told "heyy look at me. i'm getting worse"
so someone killed themselves over increasing debt. someone i knew. someone who lived close to my house. reminds me of the time my grandma's second cousin's sister-in-law's cousin's family.... the time the entire family hung themselves. the kids were teenagers. and no i don't know why.
:-/ [ ya i know ]
look at all this and tell me you want to bring a kid into this.
how do u equip them to handle this stuff. i'm thinking my unique style of a combination of burying my head in the sand and cracking inappropriate jokes is not quite the way you want to go.... i KNOW i'm not capable of handling reality. i'm just asking if your sure "ARE YOU?"

mebe the answer is you teach the kids to think about it. sympathize with it. and understand the world is not perfect, but its all we got. and sometimes bad things happen. which is no one's fault. but it happens. and people have to move on to rebuild their lives. and we shudn't lose heart nor humility and gratefulness for how lucky we've been so far. and try to be better human beings everytime we're reminded on how it really cud be soo much worse. and try to lend a helping hand to others who might be going through a bad patch.. etc etc.
well what was it anon said?? be kind to others... yes yes. teach them all that.

too much heavy stuff. i'll just go back to burying my head in the sand. if i can't see trouble, then for sure trouble can't see me....

uNeaSY pEacE

its interesting to watch adults sulk. mebe coz i do so much sulking myself. but this is different. this is a grown woman sulking on behalf of her beloved daughter.

ok ok me and that thing have reached an uneasy truce. i've extended the olive branch, but only after she offered a dead roasted pig in return. [ metaphor gone wild ] but actually she made the first move towards reconciliation. let it not be said i cudn't win a petty and stupid argument with a four year old.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

dOEs iT mAtTEr

i was reading this apparent random thing about how Mills and boons sells 130 Million books world wide. and how it serves a demographic from 16-65 which is interesting. it interests me to see how the world chooses to do what it does.
but then i read something which was even more interesting. there was something about how "a woman wud never look in the mirror and admire herself. she'd only see the flaws."

OMG that is sooooo true :O

you know i once read this piece where they said a 100% of all females wud change something about their appearance if given the chance.


thats too much. don't you think?? way way too much. now am not sure if guys have even thought about it. but i guess they worry about stuff like beer bellies and balding too. man its a wierd world out there.


worry about your SOULS ppl. not about the transient bodies that go back to dust once your done with it. what about the immortal soooooouuuuul....... < voice dying down >

sOme cuLtuRE

this is so that you imbibe some culture you hooligans. < sniff >
yeah yeah. guys hate this kind of thing. well atleast this is not opera. and oh come on. i know you prefer metallica or some such brain pounding thing. but why don't you actually listen to this?? u just might like it...

< closed eyes and swaying to the melody >
grab your friend and waltz round the room.

i SaiD i WouLdN'T wHiNe, i KnoW

in the spirit of the grand tradition of this blog where i whine incessantly about the teeniest tiniest cut and bruise i have i hereby inform you that thanks to the lil she-devil [ thats her official name now ], i now have a 4 inch welt on my leg. its turning a strange green blue color. its even beginning to hurt when i walk :O

oh ok < grumble > i am a wuss. i can't handle any amount of pain. [ one more strike against childbirth. who the heck does that voluntarily??? :O < wince > ]

but maaaaaan. she almost crippled me! its a huge purpling bruise!! :O [ unfair dramatization and author getting hysterical ]. ohhh. oh well. it'll be fine. ok ok i'll put some ice on it. moooooom quit nagging.

but i still don't like her. >_<
have you noticed that good looking people get away with a lot more. it applies to kids too.
ok mebe its common knowledge and i'm just preaching to the choir now.

but i realized it a long time ago....
cute looking kids, are more spoilt than the average kid. something about a sweet innocent face batting eyelids back at you that prevents you from whacking its bottom for doing something naughty.
apparently its high wired in our brains. someone did a study once, and they found that good looking ppl cud get by with less work than the average looking person. and more perks if they deserve it or not than avg looking ppl. apparently we give them a lot more leeway than we wud otherwise be willing to give.

its endlessly fascinating to me. to observe the way ppl screw up raising their kids. no no am not saying there is a right way and everyone shud know it. nor am i saying i can do a better job. i'm just saying its endlessly fascinating.
its scary to think that if you screw them over in the first 5 years, then their going to be a lil off forever. and the cycle continues through all time. scary!! :O
but watever. heyy, you want to teach your kid to be a brat. thats your take man. i'll just say thanks that at the end of the day, i get to go away home away from you wierdos...

Monday, December 29, 2008

aDviCe tO siNk YoU - 2

when my friends tell me that it didn't work out, so they're breaking up.... moving on. i'm left blinking stupidly at them. they looked perfectly happy the last time i saw them. all the lovey dovey stuff. all the mush. and i finally accepted their partner too.
your telling me i have to start all over again. man thats a long painful process. can't you get married already? here, i have a friend in cancoon who just broke up too, why don't you guys get hooked up with each other??
A this is B , B this is A. don't ask each other how many gfs/bfs you've had so far. i'll take those numbers to the grave with me and you can just live happily ever after. i know for a fact that you both are screwed up. so it shud be perfect.

:-/ < grimace >

huh i know its not that simple. i guess. but what does 'it didn't work out' mean. how do ppl fall out of true love?? was it NOT true love in the first place? i only ask coz someone once explained to me that you just know [ ??!?]. u just know when ur hit by true love. [ really?? ] apparently ur souls beat in harmony or some such thing. [ don't even ask. i have SOME wierdo friends ] but if thats true how can u bear to break up with the one your soul is beating in harmony with??
aaah its confusing. < crossed eyes >

also 5. most ppl enter into relationships expecting it to fix something in their lives or coz they're motivated by fear. [ huh waat?? ] ya. if 'fear of loneliness' was a factor that determined your entering the thing, then, sigh... gud luck.

but i again don't understand this 'didn't work out' thing. i mean. u shud make it work. nothing works on its own, unless made by nature. and this love you have for each other is not natural. [ heee it was funny. :D stupid joke i know.. ]
aaah watever man. i dunno how i can help. sorry.

on another note, N says he's totally waiting to see me fall flat on my face in love. apparently anti-love and staid characters usually end up having legendary and dramatic torrid love stories. [ ya ya watever. don't hold your breath, but on second thots..... ]

btw N is getting married in May. :D yaay CONGRATS N!! he used to be this really cool best friend kind of guy in engg. so am doubly... no thribly... no infinitely happy for him ^_^ he's getting hitched with this really sweet gal. and i think his is the only relationship that survived both a long distance and a long gestation [ 6-7 yrs? ] period. so don't give up hope yet folks!! :D if a creature like N can do it, then so can YOU.

aDviCe tO siNk YoU

so many of my friends ask the same question. [ no they don't ask me. no one is crazy enough to ask me anything.. ] but they're all wondering... the nuances of relationships and why its so hard to find someone. mebe thats coz they have like half a dozen broken relationships behind them. they like to term it as 'experience' every time i ask them "dude, wat the heck are you doing out there. this is the third girl this year"

but seriously. wat IS going on. every year i have to remember a new name. its kind of taxing my brain.
so one of them thinks mebe its over communication thats the problem. another thinks its too much expectations, and yet another thinks that the whole world is a lil bit against her. actually very few ppl i'm friends with have had successful awesome romances... [ well they are MY friends, so its kinda obvious they're a lil bit screwed up?? ]

but heyy what do I KNOW?? :P absolutely nothing. but as my cousin says, i'm actually a really truly neutral party. i feel, i can see the whole thing from the outside. no no i honestly don't say its the guys fault or the girls fault. but i know somethings wrong. when really wonderful ppl who are wonderful together break up over a reason i don't get but i can understand [ i mean, understand how they got there... ]

R.cali complains that all she wants is someone who is perfectly compatible [ meaning one who thinks exactly like her? ] with her.. and i try my best to explain there is no such thing. i mean she wants a guy.right? he's a guy. she's a girl. how can they ever be exactly perfectly SAME?? wudn't there be friction?? some differences?? wudnt THAT be wat made it interesting?? and besides they'd be products of different environments, so OBV there'd be SOME differences. NO WAYS, you can find a carbon copy of urself or someone who fits perfectly into u. [ oh mebe u do. mebe the soul-mate thing actually exists. wat do i know? ]. but as far as i'm concerned if the guy isn't diff on many levels you might as well get hitched to another girl :D [ i mean come on ppl...stop nitpicking already ]

nyhoooo so i was just thinking on why so many find it SO HARD >_< to stick to someone.. and i know some things.

1. long gestation periods for relationships have a very low chance of success. just gives you more time to find fault with ppl. the wierder you are? the quicker u shud make sure the other person has no venues of escape. put the ring on the finger and bind them to u for life. just thank god u found someone who didn't run screaming after 5 min in your company.

2. its human nature to take things for granted. after 2 yrs into a relationship, does he still make you laugh, is she still into ur interests. are you a part of each other's daily life? no? well then ur gonna just drift apart. [ like australia broke off from the mainland ]

3. everyone knows that long distance is twice as hard. its also the best test of so called true love. heyy remember 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' can also become 'out of sight, out of mind'. MY take on this is just get married and go together already. if ur ever in doubt that you really love him/her, just don't talk to them for 21 days. [ coz we all know that's how long it takes for a neuron-link to be formed in your brain ]

4. if u don't have laughter. u got nothing. if u don't have time for each other you got nothing. if you don't have a 100% commitment on either side, you got nothing.

5. stop having such weird and unreasonable expectations? [ i am really talking half asleep right now... ] i mean EVERY single friend of mine who is currently looking, thinks they're too good for all the people they have met. i mean, its crazy. but everyone thinks they deserve better. [ :O ha!! how can EVERYBODY be right? its not logically sound ]

ok ok i admit. i understand NOTHING. as far as i get it, love is nothing but a chemical reaction in the brain triggered by the specific chemical signature of the person. in the long run, love becomes a emotional attachment which is formed by proximity and common goals,interests etc, but i think that emotional attachment can be formed with anything. even my pet plant or a cat. so the only thing that matters is the literal chemistry. i'd say, meet the person. if ur not repelled, just say ok and get on with it will you? [ as long as the person is normal and not psycho. find that out first. ]

well i mean i know i have a half baked idea on the whole thing. this whole only theoeretical knowledge is mostly screwing the equation. but is it wrong for me to say excepting psychos, any two who are chemically compatible shud be able to make a relationship work ?

ps: oh btw that chemical signature is caused by the combination of antibodies and our immune system. so from an evolutionary perspective, ppl with compatible and complementary immune systems are attracted to each other, so that their offspring can have a more complete, balanced immune system.
[ omg THIS IS wat I think love is?? no wonder i'm still single! ] :-/ < grimace >

I'D hUg YoU, mEBe

wat do you think?

ya i know.

it gives me goose bumps too.


sMeLls oF hOMe

oooh see all the six videos. its made to change the view of the wold.

I'm LOVIN it

but now i'm all nostalgic and stuff

aaaw. sniff sniff. i feel like going home now.
just so i can breathe that air.

dO ThE tAnGo aND sPit in iT

i'll show her. < grumble grumble > telling on me that i was mean to her. wait till she walks in that door and a whole bucket of flour falls on her head. ha! its genius!
and then the paint will splash on top of it on her face. maybe i'll spit in her food too.... < grumble grumble >
ruin my b'day will she? and eat MY cake??

wat? waddaya mean she's only four? so WAT?
be an adult??? who's the adult??? no no i don't wanna. >_<
ya ya i know i can make nice with her. i pandered to 2 other kids. i can pander to the third instead of rolling my eyes at everything she says. [ kids pick up on those vibes you know..ya ya ]. i guess its not helping that every time she makes an incredible dumb comment, i grimace and give a bland look. maybe she's just used to people laughing at everything she says, and twittering over her every word. [ so why does the whole world think that they have the smartest kid in the world.
"oooh look your kid can walk on two legs. yaay for mankind. no no 15 billion people before you have never done it quite the same way. this is different. yaay..." ]

ok so i shouldn't have told her to shut up when she was annoying the crap outta me. or mebe i shudn't have threatened to pull out all her hair when she was doing the same to me.ok, so i should have been the adult. i'm 26 after all < grimace >. sure sure. i could have played with her and put in all that effort.

but I DON'T WANNA >_<
and besides this is more fun this way.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

siMpLe wARfarE aND kiDs

you'd think i could hold my own against a four year old. ya... you'd think that.
but you wud be WRONG.

oh i know that face. that innocent look of yours. >_< you think your soo soo smart. heyy you might have got everyone around you fooled. but not me. i'm onto you. yes sirree. everybody thinks aaw your soo cute. so innocent, but only i know that mind of yours is working tick tock thinking on how to get what you want and how to manipulate the foolish adults who bend to your every whim. next step ... WORLD DOMINATION!! :O
aaaaHAA! i'm onto u.. i'm watching your every move. my eyes are on you. *_*

what? she's only four. don't talk about only four. who's the one that laughed like a maniacal Shakespearean villain while saying "ha ha plucking your hair out one by one makes me laugh" or "ha ha i like pulling your hair so i want to do it"
or who was the one who hit me with the wooden folding chair [ just can't get over the image of a tiny tot coming up behind me while i was reading my book, lifting that wooden folding chair and hitting me on the head with it ] or who was the one who threw a tantrum that she didn't like me so didn't want to sit next to me in the car, which ended up in me sitting in the end space of an SUV. [ you know the seat? with no leg space?? AND i got a purple bruise from a mistake i made in disembarking procedure... [[ trust me getting out of that car NEEDED a procedure ]] ] or who was the one who somehow caught my thumb between the spokes of the wooden chair and almost broke the bone all the time laughing hysterically [ heyy THAT HURT LIKE HELL ] and somehow everytime it was ME who ended up making a public apology. i don't know why. even my cousins , the 6 and 8 yr old were savvy enough to ask me, "is she annoying you?" and all i could do was grimace in pain and limp away with some part of my dignity [ hopefully ].

how did i find myself making an SOS call to K every few hours? and the last he heard was me screaming and fighting off the kids who were jumping me from every which way, pulling my hair, stuffing their sock clod foot in my mouth.... aaaaaaaaaaaa. man overboard. officer down. need assistance immediately.

no no no >_< i CAN'T hold my own against any four year old. years ago i had made a critical observation that maybe they're all aliens who are watching over when they can take control of the planet. i take that back. its insulting to aliens to put them on the same level. no ways they're aliens. i'd recognize them. they're pure evil man. using that innocent face to get what they want. EVERY SINGLE TIME.
thats pure genius. :O

oh you THINK they're not capable of emotional warfare too? tell that to my man who was left swimming in his own tears after the battle. no one can be as mean as a four year old girl >_<

HEYY quit kicking my shins....i give up. I GIVE UP. wait let me tear my t-shirt off and wave the WHITE FLAG OF SURRENDER. OFFICERS RETREAT. EVERYBODY RETREAT. WE GIVE UP. WE GIVE UP....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah


ps: the next person who says i shud get married and have a kid will have a nice lil chat with my BAZOOKA.

oh and i finally got to cut a cake [ yaay ] and my cousin says. what did u wish for? did u wish for a husband? :D
[ WHAT THE.... ] she's frickin EIGHT man. she's not even supposed to know about marriage. and she's like when are u getting married? aren't you getting old?

by the WAY i think i might have taught them some new cuss words today. WOOPS.
also you think i didn't get r-e-v-e-n-g-e on the adults for sicing their kids on me and watching the movie?? he he i introduced their kids to CALVIN my GOD. :D

AND i found a new way to get rid of unwanted guests. first you make a couple of total brat kids. if u can't, borrow from somewhere. then u sic them on said unwanted guests. if borrowed, then casually mention their arrival next time unwanted guests make noises about visiting you. perfect results guaranteed.
downside: if u made em, then ur stuck with em forEVER.

nEw rEsoLUtioNs - 2

this year in 2009

1. i will not watch any purple octopus singing and dancing stupid songs. [ i'm hoping, if this is a resolution, then i can give that as a valid excuse. "sorry, its my new yrs resolution. you can't make me watch this along with ur devil spawned tiny tot. woops i don't mean to call you the devil, but are you sure ur not??" ]

2. i will not be a wuss. i will eat all my vegetables and that includes the mellon family and eggplant family. why? actually there is no logical reason i shud EVER have to eat anything that squishy. so scratch that. [ ok i will continue to be a wuss ]

3. i will not be a wuss and allow 4 year olds to walk all over me >_<. [ no no no. i won't bend over and be your horse just coz your mommy thinks its cute ]

4. i will not have children in 2009. [ yesssss. push it off for another yr... ok ok as i point out to the fascinated horror of many. technically you DON't NEED to be married to have kids. :D boy oh boy, u should just watch ppl's face when you do that.
them: u need to get married. ur getting old. u shud have childen.
you: why? who says u need to be married to have children? , < say it blandly >
them: appalled silence. blood draining of their face....noo you wudn't... ]

5. be kind to fellow strangers. everyone has the right to be a stupid jackass.
[ heyy anon this is for you. see? i already removed that one post about.. ok ]

6. i will go to india. [ its been 3 years? thats it? seems forever... ]

7. i will pepper spray anyone asking about my marriage and prince charming or anyone wishing me that i get married soon to be 'happy'. [ heyy mebe my prince charming got distracted by this blonde swedish bimbette. what the heck am i supposed to do >_< let it go already ]

8. i will eat less ice cream

9. i will eat more chocolate icecream [ i meant i'd eat less vanilla ]

10. i will not whine anymore. [ :O ooooooh NOW we're getting to the heavy stuff. tough one QoD. lets see how long before you break. 10 says she doesn't last till noon ]

Saturday, December 27, 2008

cOrREct rEsPonSes aNd pUrPLe OctOpuS

you know i thought that without venting i really woudn't have much to write. i mean i can't write about the purple singing and dancing octopus i had to spend an hour watching. or the kids [ did i mention the kids ?? ] or the wierd ... ok forget that [ i can't be breaking a resolution so soon!! ]

so a lot of people forget my b'day. thats ok. i can remind you guys :P whats funny is that sometimes if ur wishing me a happy b'day, my response wud be "hey thanx! and a happy b'day to you tooo"


only you QoD... only you... rofl

R predicts that when i wake up tomoro, i'll suddenly be hit by a lightning bolt and be wise. its like some switch wud be switched on. or a flickering tubelight, wud flare bright or something.. and i'd suddenly become mature.
ok i'm waiting too. infact i'm so excited to see this happen, i'm not sleeping tonight!!! [ did i mention my chikamma predicted this wud happen at 24, then at 25, then now at 26... ]


my new year resolution is gonna be back to a OLD yr resolution.

NO more venting and bad mouthing ppl on this blog. i TOTALLY forgot, THATS why i have my second blog.

so yup thats it. and in view of that i just deleted the previous 2 posts. so they're gone. buddy bbye. obviously i can't go back and edit all the old posts. but no more.

its the new me. no venting and no bad mouthing anybody. on this blog atleast

happy b'day to ME

Friday, December 26, 2008

nO kiDdiNG

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shush shush.
don't make so much noise. i think their attention is diverted for a second. they're not looking this way.
this is perfect. but we gotta make it quick. oh and you better not sneeze just as we've got one foot outside the door....

heyy. you try shaking off a whole horde of the lil devils when they're stuck to you like barnacles. awfully sweet kids, but... ya but. there's always a but somewhere isn't there? and you got to lay the rules right in the start.

No no NOO its not ok to hit me on the head with your wooden folding chair. >_<
oww owww quit pulling my hair. hey hey heyyee don't sneak up on me and pinch me kid. heyy if you do that again.. i'm gonna ... gonna.... i'm gonna Tell your MOM.


oh btw i have it on good authority, that i'm the mental equivalent of a 9 yr old.
the good lady was so amazed she kept staring at me and shaking her head...
"man ur just an overgrown 9 yr old aren't you??"
"look how happily she's eating the idlis :O"
"its like having another kid, no wonder she fits right in"
"why don't you tell the rest ice-cream before dinner isn't goo... oh you've already started eating the ice-cream"

aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh aaaaaaaahh stay away stay away go go go all systems go Wilson.. make a dash for the doooooooo.........

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

sTARt dReAminG

i'm heading out to the east coast tomoro :P

mailed everyone's x'mas gift. phew thats a load off my mind...
guess what week this is??? my B'DAY week ! :D
hey other ppl celebrate their b'days only for a day. i'll take the whole week, thank you very much....

:P have a gr8 hol folks. woops did i already say that ?

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

fOnd MemORieS aNd beAtiNGs - 3

i write coz i got to. i mean i HAVE to. i just need to write.

before this blog. i'd write really really lengthy emails to friends. before email i'd write long letters. to ppl, to myself etc etc.
or keep a personal diary. actually thats a sad story.

i did have this diary.. did i tell this one already??
u know the one where i had this diary. it was locked. it was just another place i cud vent. and write and stuff. and my mom found my locked diary, read it and...

"aah your home"
"boy was school tough today. heyy wats that your making? pakodas!! i love it" < unsuspecting teenager walks in without a clue"
"yes why don't you sit down and eat some" < mom casually frying pakodas >
"why don't you tell me about this" < and places the book in front of me while i'm just stuffing the fourth pakoda into my face >
"uh oh"
< all hell breaks loose >


"you weren't supposed to read that! it was Private!!"
"i'm your M-O-T-H-E-R. there is no such thing as privacy for kids. you see too much HBO. no more tv"


oowww owww owww that smarts. she broke her chapati making rolling pin on my back that day.
aaaah the good days.

but i DID learn an important lesson after that. never put anything on paper. and if you have to , BURN it after its written [ which i did for many many yrs till i got a computer and discovered password protected files ]. tahts how i started writing stories and if all my stories had a running theme of prison break... heyy its just a story. stay away from those sheets of paper!!

oh no no no. you DON'T want to know what i wrote in that diary. let me just say i FULLY deserved the beating i got. no. trust me. you have NO idea. i deserved the shoe beating i got the next day too. and the one with the broom, and the pointy hairbrush [ ouch that one drew blood ], the hangar, the steel ladle........[ my mom had a weak arm you see ]

aaaah the good ol days...

but the point was that i always needed to write. when i needed to write. so stop searching for an order or logic in this. its just random.

biG hEAd oN mE

ok ok ok maybe my head is getting too big for me. hufff not literally man, i meant metaphorically. i mean who am 'I' to comment on these good decent folks???
for all i know they could be honest, god fearing citizens who are much better humans than me. [ i'm not hu... ok ok wee can address that later ]
most of you are now offended by my prev posts. some of you say that i complicate things too much.
"who does she think she is anyways?? its always been done that way. girls nowadays. just don't know their place" - [ dad's first sister when some girl refused her son ]
since i had like 6 uncles and a cousin brother married after my frontal lobes ad neo-cortex were developed. i was painfully aware of wat was happening and part of the girl hunting process.
i have to admit. it bothered me. a lot.
sometimes i'd be part of conversations where i'd be praying for a meteor to hit our house. most of the time i'd be silently cheering for the girls.

"no no she looks very joru [ tulu word meaning arrogant ]. she won't do at all. i want a paavam girl who won't answer back" [ NUMBER ONE CRITERIA OF MILs. mebe they shud get the worthless son married to a COW??? ]
"she's too dark"
"she's too short"
"she's too fat"
"she doesnt have good teeth"
"she's passed her degree" [ verbatim. and its a problem coz said uncle is a PUC runaway ]

is it any wonder that i would fight back??
when this whole bunch of ppl would sit around me and complain that
"girls don't listen to anyone anymore. want things done their way. too many expectations in the qualifications of the guys"
"girls nowadays. no respect for the institution of marriage. refuse to listen. money has spoiled them, made them joru."
[ you BET YOUR ASS money has spoiled them. go girls!!! ]
"not ready to compromise at all. refuse to listen to sense. and get married at 21-22."
TRUST ME. i was in the middle of THIS conversation May 2008. it went on for a solid hour and a half. and all the time i had a small smile on my face,looking down at my hands and not saying ONE word. i caught an uncle's eye in between [ he's a cool chap btw. a lil misguided, but true ] and he was like "OMG she's one of them. look at her silently defending her entire generation of girls!!"
thats when the lot of them pounced on me demanding to know if i thought like the rest of the girls 'out there'.
sorry, but i cudn't help grinning ear to ear as i cheerfully told them just exactly where they could stick it.

heyy its nice to be married. IF u find someone who can stand you. by all means go for it. i totally agree. but i don't NEED it like i need air to breathe. i don't NEED ppl telling me that if only you wud change this about yourself or that about yourself you cud get married. or i DON'T NEED ANYONE to tell me how i have to settle for something coz i'm growing old and will be lonely 30 years down the line. its an important distinction many fail to comprehend.
heyy, mebe i will be depressed and lonely later but atleast i won't be controlling this insane desire to bash his head in for the next 30 years.

and besides i'm not compatible with this species man. how many times i gotta tell you?

jOLt tO tHe sYtEM

oh man oh man oh man.

my brother just lo-oves to mess with my head. i get up in the morning and i see this mail from my bro asking me about some guy. and when i sent him a scathing mail [ more like begging him to shoot me email ]

all he replies is
"he he just wanted to see your reaction...assuming that was a no"

sneaky ass!!

oh i wont put up the guy he sent OR the pic. though by popular vote i know you guys want to see it.. but i can send you my reply verbatim.

on second thoughts mebe i shudn't. let me just say that there was some cussing involved. there was some begging to be shot or have eyes plucked out one by one as opposed to this kind of thing involved. and some shoot me and dump my body in the pacific ocean [ dramatic yes i know, but i'm always finding creative ways of saying no these days.. ]. also dude is in kansas. who the eff goes to kansas. you know what's in kansas??? effing COWS.
and so in tribute of the wizard of oz movie of 1939. i'm sporting two pigtails and am gonna be singing for toto the whole day...

yeah this post ever gets around in mlore, :D boy i'll just have to go into witness protection. ppl have been calling me arrogant since the day i finished engg [ who? me? the sweetest lil pie on this side of the solar system?? :D surely ur kidding! ]. but seriously? kansas?? seriously???
i'd be better off married to a tree stump? no??

disclaimer: i have nothing againts kansas personally. i might even move there. or to a more coma inducing place. its obvious something he said in his email set me off on this angry tirade. and no even i have enough brains not to share it. heyy my skin isn't worth two buttons if this gets out. ok ?

qUesTioNs tO aSK

oh you want me to vent about this marriage crap? i'll give you venting.

and this isn't even about me. these are things i've heard propsective grooms tell my friends...

-"you don't look the same as you did in the snaps" [ well 'honey' ur not looking so hot either, but notice how polite I AM and not barfing on your shoes?? ]

-"have you gained weight since you sent me the snap?" [ let me at him A, just ONE good shot... FYI A is cute as hell, you A***hole as compared to you who looks like something the cat barfed up yesterday ]

-"can you send a full length snap" [ can you send me your recent bank statement ]

-"can you send a snap of your daughter wearing a sari?" [ sure why don't you hold your breath and wait. i'll get right back to you ]

-"you'll have to go to India coz my parents want to meet you. but I don't have time, so your parents will see me only on the engagement day" [ ever notice how absolutely necessary it is for the parents to see the girl and not the guy ?? i've seen 3 cases of this so far and i can only say NO COMMENTS ]

-"i'll marry you, but you have to lose weight" [ i'll marry you but u have to deposit 2 mill first ]. [ NO comments coz she did, and they got married and they're very happy except she kind of put all that back on after the wedding... i think... ]

you know what I'M waiting for?? the first day, when he wakes up all bleary eyed and sees his wife as she just gets outa bed. you know with the rats nest hair and the dried up drool and the puffed up eyes and stumbling around like the walking dead. what? you thought your girlfriend fell out of the bed looking so hot??? do you EVEN KNOW about the hours of makeup it took to look good?? my bet is if guys could ever see females as soon as they got up in the morning.... there wouldn't be so many marriages taking place...

let me give you a really good tip subject A. shut the heck up and go procreate with yourself.

fOnd MemORieS aNd beAtiNGs - 2

my favorite passtime when i was a kid was to annoy my mom. :P
nothing irritated her more than to have me spout readers digest and womens era platitudes to her.

things like
-"the best way to teach a kid is to set an example" < when i caught her lying to a friend >

-"you should never tell your child, they're useless. it destroys their self esteem." < when she was frustrated i wudn't do my chores. i didn't even know what self esteem meant. i was 6? 7? >
[ heyy in my defense the only objection i had was that i got the laundry chores coz i was the 'girl' and my brother got away scot free coz he was a 'boy' and never needed to know that. hufff. in my book fair is fair. the exact argument she used was that i wud need to know how for my husbands house!! goddamn it. i was SEVEN!! and besides, i admit it, i'm fat-ass lazy ]

-"desire is the root cause of all unhappiness. so said budhha." < when she tried to make me covet baubles for my uncles wedding >
"everyone will be wearing such grand jewelry, don't you want gold bangles too? why don't you ask your dad for new gold bangles" [ guess who got to wear them for the wedding :D ]

-"this is no way to raise a child. the readers digest says you should always justify your orders with rational explanations. not just say - coz i said so" < when i didnt understand why i had to do something and my brother didn't"
"screw the readers digest. your not my mother in law!!"

women's era was a complete washout man. it took me for-ever to understand the meaning of the magazine name. i didn't understand half the aunty agony columns, and i spent most of the time looking at the pictures of food in the recipe section and pestering my mom to make them. but the biggest problem was that if i was caught reading that magazine back then.... oooh boy somebody gotta get hurt realll bad!

oh btw i still use that
"aasewe dukhkhake moola kkarana" line on her. esp when she starts on her wish list. u ever notice how that wish list NEVER EVER decreases with time. just the opposite it increases exponentially!!

Monday, December 22, 2008

fOnd MemORieS aNd beAtiNGs

its hard to believe, that till the age of... i dunno. some age when i was still a kid. a lot of ppl thought i was a retard child. i think it had something to do with the way i stared into space all the time. and the way i would just trail off in mid conversation to stare at ... them?space?who knows?? i was a wierd kid... and its all very hazy.

but i DO remember why i did such stuff.

1. people usually talked to me as if i was an idiot moron.
you know the totally annoying child talk? HEY. i'm 8 not 3. stop doing the baby talk. you look AND sound like a fool. but that wasn't the problem. the problem was that i didn't understand that correcting faults was only allowed when adults did it to kids, not the other way around. no one told me i couldn't really go around telling adults they were stupid. well, actually no one told me why i cudn't.

2. i would realize mid conversation that i was in serious danger.
"ur lucky. childhood is the best days of your life.."
"really? you seem to be having a pretty sweet deal going on yourself. you don't have anyone telling you what to eat, what to wear, when to sleep, who to talk to, what to talk about, when to play, what to play, what to read..."
"ha ha your so cute. you don't know anything about the adult world. and besides your mom is an angel."
"oh yeah?? is that what it looks like?? let me tell you exactly...."
"what are you doing?"
< my eyes are glazed over, i've trailed off and am trying my best to do the zombie act coz she's now standing behind me. she walks like a cat, darn it i didnt see her coming... >

1. i was beaten for talking in public. as in my mom wud literally come home after every outing and try to knock some sense into my head the old fashioned way.
the main reason - she had learnt at great cost, that if i opened my big mouth around adults, it was usually to embarrass the hell outa her. there were many MANY occasions, where my mom would be saying this absolutely harmless wee lil white lie and i'd pipe up to say
"but ma, didn't you just say earlier that you thought this auntie laughed like a horse??"
"ha ha, what are you saying. thats not true." < making frantic gestures for me to zip it. >
"ya when we were getting ready to come to this party. thats when u said..."
"ha ha, pls excuse my daughter. she's retarded"

"my dauughter thinks your absolutely marvelous. very talented"
"i never said that" < guess who didn't get desert that night >
"ha ha, pls excuse my daughter she's very forgetful"

"we can't come this thursday coz my daughter has a test"
"that was last week, i don't have anything this week. but this house smells funny"
"ha ha, pls excuse my daughter, she's dead meat"

oh i wasn't stupid. did you think i didn't know?? obviously, i had poor impulse control, but there was another reason too.
oh come on u must have figured it out.
oh ok i'll give ya a hint.
do you know how to spell R-E-V-E-N-G-E ??

one thing my mom never got was why the heck i blurted out stuff in front of her friends even though she tried to train me otherwise. what she also didnt get was that i hold a mean mean grudge. but i had to be careful about it u know. so i spent most of the time silent as a tomb coz i was never ever allowed to talk in public. but sometimes when the time was right. and i'd think it was worth the drubbing i'd blurt out the truth. heyy i never lied. even i had standards!!

also my mom was from the old school. u know kids shud be seen not heard style. so she REALLY made sure i understood, that i was as good as dead if i so much as peeped when we were out. so in the end mebe thats why a lot of ppl thought i was a retard. kid never speaks up , except to put her foot in her mouth and get a good solid beating.

i remember this one time. i said something really stupid. and my mom froze me on the spot with an icy look. calmly turned towards our guests, excused herself and me, < all the while smiling > , took me inside and gave me the beating of my life. man i can no longer remember what i said, but am sure it was a beaut!!

and THATS why when i got into engineering, ppl were like.... she passed her tenth? really? in the first attempt?? oh wow we thot she'd never finish high school.

aaaah the good days... sigh.... sometime i miss my mom.. :D

sTaY At HOme

i like the image i project. i guess i have to agree that i'm vain that way. hey, this look works for me. the slightly rumpled, glasses askew, uncombed hair piled on top of my head look. so what if i'm still wearing the same t shirt i had with me 4 yrs ago. its clean, its not torn. what more do u want? i just have to sleep in it. not go on national television darn it. who pays 20 dollars for 'home clothes' anyways??? color coordinated jammies. ha! its all a scam run by big companies to fool females into thinking they need to get this stuff to look gud. aaah i'm onto them. gimme that money and let me buy myself a book.

so i didnt comb my hair today. atleast its in a clip on the top of my head. hair is a waste of time anyways. the world wud be a lot better off if we all collectively shaved our heads. [ heyy wierd is just a matter of perspective ok ? :P ]
ok ok so when in the mood i can look reasonably ok. i mean i can pass off as human. but the rest of time?? in the confines of my own home? where a man [ and a woman ] is supposed to be comfortable?? oh come on ppl. gak! leave that shirt alone. its a perfectly gud shirt. < give it back!! >

ok so i look sleepy any time of the day u poke me. and i may look confused.. when ppl are talking to me. thats not a crime... go bug someone else. i dont have to look sharp at 3 in the afternoon, just coz u said so... heyyy stay away from my bunny floppy shoes !! they keep my feet warm!!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

StoLeN soUL

i categorically and summarily object to photographs. the whole darn concept of them. well i think the basic concept is all well and good, but when my mom wakes me up at 5 AM on a sunday morning just to pester me that she has forgotten the way i look. yup thats when i feel like smashing ...smashing.. something.

so i begged my roomie to take a snap. ANY darn snap so that i can fob off my mom for another 6 months... but i don't really photograph well. many things come to mind when u see the snaps. 'deer caught in headlights' , 'psycho killer' , 'scary'...
SM says that ALL females love to get their snaps taken. and love to doll up for them.

ya right. all women. i agree.

wat? u didn't get it yet ??? ur not the brightest fruit on the tree are you ??

ok ok. but seriously. 4 hours later i was able to cobble together a few snaps for my mom. but no WAYS am i sending them all at once to my mom. no no no. thats just foolish. i'll release them like 5 snaps every 3 months. just enuf to keep them off my back. coz u know... you just know.... that the moment you give them an inch, they just want the whole darn 9 yards. which means to say, that i send them some snaps today and tomoro, i just KNOW i'll get a call for a snap in a sari and posing like an idiot.


aaaw maaan not the sari thing. groooaaaan

Saturday, December 20, 2008

MaSH tHemE sONg


wiErDinG mE

i think [ and its mebe only me who thinks this way ] that when your chatting with someone on an IM you need to be a lil more circumspect. you shud write such that if, and i mean hypothetically if some crazy friend of yours decides to make public ur chat histories, you shouldn't have to change your name and move off planet.

actually i need to really apply this principle too. god knows most of my friends are just sadistic B***** and they just might do it too...
but while someone is chatting with you [ and there's an important distinction from you chatting with them ] dont you sometimes wonder? by GOD i shud just put this up on a webpage and let the world have a good laugh. this person is ridiculous.

i mean there's whacked out craz funny [ which is a kind of religion to me ] and then there's plain creepy wierd. and all the time your thinking - 'dude, stop trying so hard to be cool. its creeping me out.'

wHaT yOU LeaRn - 2

ok the other side of the coin
a kind of handy guide about guys for girls.

disclaimer : don't rip my throat out. this was dictated by delilah.

1. guys like shiny stuff too. yes yes, don't be put off by that 'omg u shop too much crap'. look at their gadgets, their cars, their secret stash of porn. it'll all be high tech. and besides, their shiny stuff ALWAYS costs more.

2. another thing guys love more than life itself. food. no no, you have NO idea. its like the shiny stuff thing for gals. you ever want to them wash the windows? promise to cook them your special souffle or truffle or chicken shit thing or watever and it WILL be done. warning: make sure none of the drool hits the carpet.

3. guys DON'T remember. mostly they don't care either. this pretty much applies to everything as long as it has no bearings on their sports or shiny stuff. which means no they don't remember when was the last time you wore that mag blue dress. or why today is such a special day. or thats its your 6 month anniversary of that thing. they also don't remember its your cousin's sister-in-law's nephew's birthday today. the (dis)advantage is they don't remember taht you guys are fighting either.

4. guys are not listening. they probably hear every third word anyways. and THAT ties in directly to prev point. you know when u start talking about how bitchy the girl in your office is and how she hurt your feelings by sneaking behind your back....?? and then theyr nodding at u and looking calm. yup thats them not listening. if they were, they'd be hitting their head against the wall NOT looking calmly or smiling at u peacefully.

5. guys love crap/trash talk. i actually read an article about this. for some strange reason they like jokes about crap. [ no i mean literally ] and they think there shud be a prize for burping the loudest?? oh pls i rem now. it said after sex, crap was like the most popular topic of jokes for guys. they also love gory movies and fighting and blood and gore and talk about blood and gore. and heads and arms being blown apart.... eeeeeeeee

6. guys GOSSIP too. and they do annoying stuff like ranking the girls they know. and they bitch and moan about their ex-gf's , bosses, etc etc

7. most guys HATE HATE window shopping. for clothes. you want to punish a guy :P take him clothes window shopping with you. thats like ONE area where girls have more stamina anyday. i've seen grown men broken and defeated after all day marathons of shopping. they also buy stuff they need right Now. as opposed to females who buy stuff coz its on sale.

8. guys don't DO subtle. they don't DO hints. you want to make a point, you have to smack them in the head with it. don't sulk coz he didnt automatically look into your eyes and guess whats wrong. thats BS. get a blowhorn/foghorn watever - 'hey dumbass, we're in a relationship'. if your dropping vague hints and hoping for that silver necklace for xmas, you can just forget it. just take his wallet and buy it yourself. you'll save everyone a truckload of pain :P

9. most guys are color blind. they don't know and they don't care about lavender and magenta. ur lucky if they know that orange is a seperate color. and they can id the diff primary colors.

10. guys hate changing their 'style'. you can fill their wardrobe to oveflowing. buy them a gazillion shirts. but they'll have their favourite set of 10. and till it rips [ sometimes even after that ] they'll circulate the fav-10. if ur eyes start bleeding coz of it and u try to burn some of their shirts, they will go out and find an exact replica or something close to replace the lost one.

if i'm terribly of the mark... hey! what do i know? i'm not a dude. and besides this IS a part fiction blog.. don't get ur panties in a wad!!


Friday, December 19, 2008

wHat YoU LeARN

handy guide for guys about girls. [ mebe this will help you so that you don't dig such a deep hole the next time. this is for you V!:D ]

1. girls like shiny stuff. yes. exACTly like magpies. just give them their shiny stuff and you have the next couple of hours free to play 'wars of death' or watever. note: shiny includes earrings, noserings, rings, purses, etc etc

2. girls like to look at pictures of babies. if u want to keep your girlfriend, DON'T freak out. 96% of the time she's just looking. she doesn't really want a baby herself. if ur one of the 4%, man [ rofl ] there is no helping you. we will remember you in our prayers. [ or mebe ur one of those guys who likes to look at baby pics too. that works also. ]

3. girls are sweet delicate creatures. till you forget that anniversary or that birthday or something u shudn't have forgotten. then you have a weepy she-demon on your hands. you might as well be dead. [ be ready to buy some shiny stuff ]

4. girls don't care that you can fart in harmony with your buddy or pee further than him or balance a coin on your nose. [ ya sorry we can't appreciate your genius. thats why we have a circus ]

5. girls also like to bathe everyday. and they don't understand why u haven't changed your unmentionables in like forever. [ i don't want to know. no no i just don't ]

6. girls like gifts. [ u might as well resign yourself to it. thousands of years of evolution has led to one thing. you gotta buy us gifts [ notice them becomes us here?? :D ]. and all that stuff about 'its the thought that counts?'. he he :D. man just handover the wallet. ]

7. there are some things 'you just don't understand'. [ mebe u shud count your blessings ] look appropriately sympathetic and make a dash for it. anything you do to improve her mood is probably gonna backfire and land you in unholy hell. you might as well go for that all night beerfest. just bring back ... [ u know the drill by now ;P ]

8. girls ARE emotions. just think of them as one BIG gigantic emotion. and once they go down the emotional path, its really really hard to talk reason or logic or any of the other pesky stuff that uses the neo-cortex of the brain. [ wat does neo-cortex mean? ]. cruise along when its a happy emotion, blend into the background when its an upset emotion and try to bring in a independent consultant [ other female who is NOT in same emotional state ] when its a sad emotion.

9. girls like to talk. [ AAHA you were waiting for this one weren't you? :D but you know this. ] every guy in contact with the female half of the species KNOWS this. girls TALK. a LOT. yeaaaa....
ok i like you so i'll help you and wait, i have the perfect solution for this. u probably know only a few females who talk that much to you anyways. now listen to me, what you gotta do is develop an EXACT brain filter that filters out the frequency of her(their) voice(s). THEN you have to learn the 'i'm pretending to listen and will occasionally nod my head but actually i'm deciding which video game i shud get for xmas' face.

10. girls like to look pretty. even if you have only 20 minutes to catch that flight or you've been on the road for 17 hours, keep a buffer for them to primp. hey. its YOUR fault, for not taking into account the extra 45 minutes of extra primping buffer time required when you made those plans to tour the city. [ here's a clue. take what time you need and add 45 minutes to it. thats when your leaving the house ]

you know. there is more to girls than this shiny stuff. you don't HAVE to resort to bribery to keep your girl. there are other things you can do.
you can talk to them, LISTEN to them when they want to 'talk' even if its beyond 2 AM and your zonked from 8 hours of continously playing 'war of death' [ is that even a real game?? ], hug them when they're sad, comfort them, console them when you've hurt their feelings, pamper them occasionally, watch sappy movies with them, walk on the beach with them even though a football match is on......
yeah... your just better off buying the shiny stuff.

oh your girl is nothing like this?? she's totally different??? are you sure your not with a dude, disguised as a girl??? :O

pOmp aND thE ciRcUs

the problem of writing serious blogs [ i mean writing in a serious tone ] is the result. the result of sounding like a pompous self-important pontificating jackass. sometimes i even wonder how ppl manage it. me? oh i have a very simple solution

1. never go back and read what i've written. [ gawd that wud be mortifying. like... was that actually a product of MY brain?? someone hit me with a shoe ]
2. live with the certainity that no one actually reads what i've written. [ this works surprisingly well actually. coz as far as i'm concerned your all like Wilson. imaginary. >_< ]

but then i read a couple of blogs, and ofcourse ppl write blogs coz they have opinions right. [ not me :O i write coz i gotta whine to someone. tis unfortunate for YOU, that your stuck with the short end of the stick. ok ok bad joke. so get back to the ... ]
so everyone's got an opinion. [ yes yes, sometimes i do to ] and then when i read those random blogs. i have this one thought in my head.
"gud lord, do i sound like that too ? why hasn't someone shot me yet???" :O

i'm curious though. how do i know if i'm being a pompous ass, when i'm being the pompous ass. like someone mentioned in a comment, is there an objective scale of measuring assicity??
:D shucks thats funny.

but henceforth i think i'd like to monitor the posts. how many times do i actually offer an opinion. [ coz in my head i think that all i do is ask quesitons. see? but then i once wrote about the 6 degrees of awareness right? ]
oh and then another thing, before a lot of ppl leap at my throat and rip me to shreds lets say i define an opinion [ for the purpose of this blog ] as u say for sure that if someone doesn't agree with you he's [ or she ] is an retard moron.
eg: anyone who doesn't like cocoa crispies with bucketloads of sugar is a retard moron. [ oh thats true btw. how can you NOT like cocoa cripies!! climb out of ur holes ppl!! open ur eyes to the wonder that is co.... < being led away by men in white coats > ]

"Your unique. At least, thats what everybody hopes."

sO haPpY toGetHeR

don't let them tell you otherwise. cabin fever is NOT something to scoff at.

have a gr8 weekend ppl :P

and an alternate version for those who like turtles.

hmmmmm so happy together ^_^

oh you know that friend i kind of fought with. i mean i'm fighting with her. but she kind of doesn't know it. i mean... ummm.. this is wierd. how can u fight with someone when ur the only one who knows ur fighting??
rofl. man there's one thing i've noticed. i just can't stay mad at anyone now. i mean before i'd sulk and hold mean grudges like forever and stew in my juices. but now? i just find things frickin hillarious. oh ya ya, i know, i DO tend to vent a lot [ no kidding! ] and i know i blow up like clockwork, but it just takes too much energy to sustain all that anger. some ppl call it growing up. i feel like punching them in the face... but thats a diff story.

oh btw
took care of this dame. no no i didnt send snipers after her... i just replied to the casual email she sent. took me 3 days of brooding over it and reading it a million times and staring at it and writing re-writing the reply to get the exact 'casual' tone. didn't want to sound un-casual u know? [ guys? trust me when i tell u this. women are frickin INSANE :O ]

Thursday, December 18, 2008

LiNked GamES

mebe instead of pestering me, you can play this game instead

Fantastic contraption something

its pretty cool. there's one more called crayon physics. u can try that too....

tiMe oF The YeaR

how can you get into your 3 month hibernation time when you have a continuous party going on in your house? with all these People around me, i'll never fall into my winter coma. and the constant litany of sheeths come have pasta, sheeths come play with us, sheeths this and sheeths that.. yaaaawn. man its like winter man. i just wanna sleep...

i miss my cave. i miss the rock. i miss my cave behind the rock in the forest next to the frozen river. paint a vivid picture yet??
fresh snow fallen like a perfect white carpet. on trees on the ground. dark green silent trees standing around with caps of snow on them. everything is hush and silent wherever you go. the cave is dark yet comforting. warm and cozy at the back. and when u step out you see the top of a frozen river which u know is just waiting for summer to flow happy again. and the silence. blessed silence. it reminds you of being snuggled in a warm blanket and watching the white world, watching it sleep along with everyone else. and so on and so on.

aaaaaaaaaaawwww maaaaaaaaaaaan. all i wanna get to do is sleep a while.
< stretch like a cat >

GueSs wHo'S cOmiNG hEre

OMG guess what




are u kidding me??? THIS IS HUGE.

oh u know. the guy who taught me how to tie shoe laces, madikeri, etc etc
this is absolutely AMAZUING.. i mean ... oh watever.

wooo hooo

PARTY TIME!! i can't wait for may. i can't. man who's gonna work now. i can't concentrate...i'm just chucking everything outa the window. and hanging up my stockings. ^_^
finally!! finally FINALLY.

pLay it RiGhT

we discovered something yest [ hey! something new everyday man ]. but for me and the voices, this was another lightning epiphany. [ ok NOW did i use that right? ]

according to observed behavior and recent actions it has now been confirmed that QoD is not a sport. as in she is not sportive. threatening to punch out someone's lights when they're winning in cards is NOT indicative of the actions of a seasoned adult. its more like the tantrums thrown by a sulking bullying 12 yr old. [ which i think i was... ]

apparently when ur playing cards you can't do ANY of these things -

- threaten to punch ur neighour's lights out coz they used the monopoly card and took half your cards away.
- auction off your cards to whoever will give the highest number of chocolates.
- cheat.
- offer to help someone win, if they give u chocolates.
- declare a blood feud on said person for the next 7 generation. [ hey, my great grandchildren will definitely defeat your great grandchildren ]
- question the gender of the player against you.
- throw the game out of whack my being the 'random factor' in the game.
- switch loyalties halfway coz 'i just dont like your face today'.
- sing loudly and offkey so that your opponent/s can't concentrate [ heyy i TOLD u i didnt wanna play ]. >_<
- cheat. get caught cheating and sulk coz u can't pull off a simple cheating card trick.
- if someone is supposed to take one of your cards, you can't hide the gud cards away so that no one knows they exist till the last minute when u triumphantly bring them out and declare that you are god of the known universe. [ ah ah u can't do that apparently ]
- glaring at someone just coz they make a move against ur best interest. [ no u can't call it trying to look into their head either. they KNOW wat ur upto.. ]
- running a slander campaign against anyone [ oh btw this covers more ground than u think ]
- scatter all the playing pieces when the rest of the players are 'into' the game just coz u want to liven up the party and YOU think that ppl are getting too serious [ this makes some ppl very angry and leads to much teeth gnashing ]
- call someone a bastard coz he got the card you wanted. or call them a retard. [ basically any name calling in any language is frowned upon ]
- refuse to Ever play again coz u didnt win the game. [ ok mebe everyone WAS breathing a major sigh of relief coz they managed to endure 'someone' for 4 straight hours without tying 'someone' up, gagging 'someone' and throwing 'someone' out in the freezing snow ]

but all in all i think i achieved my primary objective.
bet ya they never pester me to play with them again, ESPECIALLY when i have a hot date with a book on my shelf. ugh pervert its not wat ur thinking [ i just know ur twisted mind. u sick ***** ]. i meant i wanted to read a book..

AND ofcourse now we know...
for sure that is...
what we always suspected...
i'm just not a... very... sportive..... person. [ in the words of the guy i beat up when he took the card i wanted ]

what was i playing ?? Settlers of Catan. ooh its a MAG game. u shud soo play. hey i can teach u if u want.. show it to u infact. u wanna play ??

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

sNoW eNds BrEAd

about this thing with objective ethics and might is right and if its ok to kill other ppl from another religion.
i dunno. seems ok to me from a darwin point of u. its just evolution. battling it out.... and stuff. from an evolutionary perspective, we're right on track towards natural total global annihilation anyways.

on that note, as i write this, the thing that strikes me the most is how difficult it is to write. i mean to actually communicate what one means. its easy to slap together a bunch of words when its supposed to be funny and nice and la la la. but what if u had to get a seious point across. boy its hard. coz you mean ONE thing, but ppl end up reading something else into it. at the very best, u get about 40% of your meaning across.

THAT is a pain. coz then u have to put in effort. and ME. being the Queen of LAZY among the other things.... well you get the picture.

that being said..
its AWESOME here. we're gonna have a white xmas. and that almost never happens in portland. apparently the rain + snow combination makes it dangerous for life and limb to get out. so i'm coming up with a spot of cabin fever. popular news reports say that winco is now out of milk, bread and potato chips. yup yup our 3 most imp food groups :P
man i'm gonna try to build a snowman ^_^ yaay !

aNsWeR tHe PrOvERb

my answer starts as "i dunno". the point was to make u think and come up with an answer. < if there is only ONE answer >

1. do you really believe that an objective system of ethics exists ? and if so who puts it on paper? humans?? uh uh that can't be right.
excluding any kind of crime/conduct against children i'd say that there is no right or wrong. everything just IS.

2. are u saying we are NOT in a darwinion struggle. all of life is about the darwinion struggle. u also make the assumption that humans shud be ascribed to better qualities than animals. that is also not true.
most of the time. we're worse than animals. cats eat one of the kittens as soon as they give birth. in ur objective system of ethics. u think its wrong?

3. anyways i wasn't going that deep. my point was that you ppl shud stay away from my bran chocolate muffin coz i don't eat your honey nut raisin cookie. but if it makes u think about ethics and darwin and stuff. hey! go ahead. :P

4. life is not fair. who gave u that grand promise?? i'd like to meet them.

ok ok i'll try to explain what i mean ... sigh.

think of it this way. i wud be way way happier if u did onto me as according to MY code of ethics rather than yours coz i UNDERSTAND that and besides i think ur a putz < not u per se, saying in general >
ALSO think of it like this. if u did onto me as I DO ONTO others, if i didnt like it then i'd get my act straight see? see, how that works. if i was bugged, then i'd RE-A-LIZE that my actions were annoying to others coz i used to do that and then i'd change my ways.
ppl never get it otherwise. like suppose i had this annoying habit of sitting in the common area and talking on the phone even when u wanted to watch tv but u were polite enuf to always go inside ur room if u had to talk on the phone. shud u suffer thru my obnoxious behaviour? do u think all your hints will make me realize that i'm inconviniencing u. most probably i never gave it a second thought. so i'm not saying u gotta be spiteful and take revenge. i'm saying do the same thing. then i realize oh this is stupid but i do the same thing. so i shud stop and then hopefully she does too.
see?? i hope its kind of clear..

in ur way ppl never ever change. but my way, they realize and change. now can this be used to solve global terrorism. i dont think so. coz u need some basic capacity for thinking which i dont know if they have... but i dunno when my post became a theory on solving global terrorism. it was just a method of protecting my bran chocolate muffin.

[ see? i can do no personal attacks? i'm rational. now gimme my chocolate :P ]

mOuTh a PrOvErB

ok its never good just to mouth silly platitudes/proverbs without thinking about it.

k lets give it some thought here.

"do onto others as you wud have others do onto u..."
no no no >_< no ways. its shud be
"do onto others as they do onto the world"
why??? no no am not talking about tit for tat or some crap. m serious. and am talking of just normal behaviour. why do i say this???

1. coz everyone is different. not everyone is the same. ergo everyone looks at the way differently. u still with me here ace???
2. i submit that some ppl are so different in nature in terms of their values and expectation that u wud just piss them off if u behave onto them as u expect others to behave onto u.

let me try with an example -
you are A a very serious person who likes to contemplate and B is a very frivolous person who hates to think. do u think A shud behave onto B as A sees the world?? dont u think THAT leads to conflict???
A shud behave with B as B behaves with the world. so that there is minimum conflict. aaaaaaaaaargh i can't explain this. did u get what i'm saying?? did u see??

its coz u see the world through a set of glasses and u have a standard of conduct which is right to u. prob no one on this planet shares that view. so wud they interact on ur plane of understanding or theirs. ofcourse if ur outrageously wrong someone shud correct u, but aaaaaaaaaaa ur going out of the scope of this discussion. ok let me try to explain with another example.

A is a diplomat and tactful. considers it rude to just say whats on his mind. and tries to find a subtle way to communicate his grievances. B is blunt and direct and straghtfwd and subtlety is completely lost on him. B is also annoying A about something. do u think A shud say it in the manner of A or B??
yes yes this is what i'm talking about. got it.

also YOUR silly proverb tries to create a world where everyone turns into a robot. and thinks and acts the same. its rubbish. i dont like that statement at all. and i think i shud table this conv, coz i just woke up and my BP has already gone up a few points. man i feel revved.

but next time dont give me stupid proverbs without thinking about it first.

here's another example.
A does not mind if i raid her pantry. I pefer no one raids each others larder. so shud she finish my last moon pie or not??? take a guess which one of the two options is gonna result in a black eye and a few missing teeth :P
but u see of an essence your stupid proverb does address this topic. its the centuries of mindless repeating of that proverb that has gotten us to this point of blackened teeth.. no i mean eyes.
ofcourse THAT does NOT mean A refrains from my pantry and I raid HER larder. no no :D its not that at all... though that wud be nice wudn't it???

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

ThE riGHt oF iT

i have a question W. naaah, keep your chow mein, W, i'll pass. don't like american chinese food all that much, since it smells wierd. but some ppl keep forgetting that. no matter how many times you tell them, they keep insisting that you go and eat in noodles and co. ofcourse when u very mildly point out that u don't eat chinese cuisine in the US, then they jump down your throat and call you a whiner. so keep the noodles, W. i think i'll stick with my sandwich.

i have a q. and no this is not about me -

do you have the right to complain about ppl who gossip and comment on your behavior, when you behave in a gossip and comment worthy manner.
for example : hypothetically. lets say ur wierd. not lil wierd. not add ketchup with curd rice wierd. wierd in the sense ur stuck at the hip with this dude and u spend 25 hours of the day with this dude. and yet u have a boyfriend in some other place. and u spend like 10 minutes a day on the phone with your boyfriend.
now if someone makes a smartass comment about this. does it make any sense that you feel upset about it???
i mean helloooo, ppl DON't mind their own business. espECIALLY when ur inconveniencing them half the time. i know i know. in theory everyone is supposed to mind their own business. but come on. u practically conjoin another person, someone is gonna comment on it. you cna't pout and throw tantrums for THAT??
can she?? W?? heyy wake up!! stop drooling and answer the darn q!

now don't get ur panties in a wad. none of this is even remotely connected to me except by the fact that i'm a completely biased observer.
MY take is, if ur doing something you can't tell ur mum about, then its probably wrong. DON'T DO IT.

liViNg aT hOmE

so imagine they had this space station kind of setup in outer space. like a colony see? and they set it up for like a 100 people. and they needed some smart engineers kind of ordinary folk to go up there. and so called for volunteers from the general public. imagine u passed any and all tests that they devised to make sure ur not a psychotic murderer. basically imagine there was a situation where u cud go live on one of saturns moons or something as part of an experiment. mebe just a 100 ppl. colony. something.

so... now you get the picture. and now for the kicker. would you go?

now hold on. imagine this also. u cudnt see ur family in this lifetime. ever again. not ur friends. u'd have no tv. prob. that means no house and batman. u'd prob never ever ever get pani puri and samosas again [ yaaa, theyr my main weaknesses ]. and stuff like that. music might be limited, etc etc and any other horrors u cud imagine...

ofcourse u'd be married. < wats the point otherwise of trying to build a colony ?? > and i'm assuming any number of kids are actively encouraged. though wether they wud survive is a question. also i'm assuming everyone is gonna fall back on the same entertainment they had b4 electricity was discovered....

so ... think about it. would you go??

i mean seriously. wud u ? would your mother let you? cud u give up nacho cheese tostitos forever? mebe u wudnt have to give it up completely.

me?? OFCOURSE I WUD. there's a better probability that my mother ship can find me, ya know... and besides how cud i miss the chance to be that one step closer to home??

tHinK beForE yOu

some people. and i am referring to that someone, that 'special' someone...some people, actually i guess you can make that most people, can never ever imagine that people don't like them or theyr mildly [ ok lots ] annoying.

so there they go traipsing through their insignificant and puny myopic lives, la la la, and then they act all hurt and bewildered [ god wat an enyd blyton word ]. yup they act bewildered when everyone doesn't fall immediately into their plans and feel all warm and cuddly to have them around.
hey... hey! < snapping my fingers > look at me. yup at my face. wat part of "i don't want to eat gulab jamun at 2 in the fricking morning do u not understand u overstuffed naive bunny??"
aaaaaaw gud lord ur not gonna cry now are u ???

but why is it that we find it so hard to accept that not everyone is gonna fall instantly in love with our charming personalities??? i mean have YOU considered that there might be some ppl out there, who aren't very fond of you??? [ to put it as mildly as possible.. ]. mebe they think your too frivolous, or too serious, or too dumb or too smart or watever man. i know u've never thought about it. but mebe we all shud u know... MY life wud certainly be easier :-/

STOP invading my personal SPACE, u crazy pop-tart. and stop calling me a party pooper. i'd be happy to poop your party anytime pal... wait THAT didn't come out right... ;D

on the flip side...looking back i now understand a whole lot of things.. mebe thats the reason some ppl like XX never came to some of our parties either.
so this is how i see it. you can't NOT make time for your friends and still claim that theyr important to you and then exploit that connection. i mean the very act of you not giving them any time or thought, proves that you don't give a shit. which is FINE. but just don't pretend that you care man. atleast have the balls to say u don't give a damn and walk off. don't pretend that your majorly concerned and friendly and the best person in the whole wide world... wow hard stop here. well that got away from the main topic...

well thats kind of debatable since no one knows what the main topic here..
i think i've been affected by cabin fever. thats my new word of the week , along with slipperier. theyr like my 2 MOST fav words for now ^_^

toodles ppl..
oh btw 'some' concerned ppl in my extended family are now soo concerned with my single occupancy status, they have started suggesting divorcees as possible candidates for cohabitation. here's my suggestion to them. < rude gesture >
woops i forgot you can't see that.... wait let me spell it out for you... < no Wilson, let go, wat do u mean this isn't a PG rated blog...let.... me.... type. heyyy i have a shoe and i'm not afraid to use it!! >
oh but seriously? dudes u guys are just moving from the comical to the circus freak show categories...if i wanted to marry some divorced dude, u can bet your ass, he'd HAVE to have more money than GOD itself. [ "i have no problem marrying for money, OFCOURSE love is important. thats why i'll love his money" - L ;P ]

Monday, December 15, 2008

bUy eGgs tOmORow

warning: this is gonna be a post of me rambling [ i had a 'better' verb/adverb? there but decided against it, considering possible future readers... ]. consider this a courtesy warning. u got probs, come back tomoro pal. or not :-/

now that we have that out of the way....

u know whats making my life 'interesting' these days?

-its stumbling outa my room brite and early and finding bunch of guys sprawled out in my living room.
-its checking my pantry and finding out someone went after my stash of soy chocolate milk [ hey, don't dish it if u haven't tried it! it's Awesome!! ]
-its having to hole up in my room all the time, just coz i can't stand the visual of a guy sitting upside down on a sofa. [ and thats the best description i can give, don't ask me to explain it better... ] OR coz i can't stand to listen to another word of u-know-wat-lang. [ don't say it :O. zip it! ]
-its feeling guilty everytime i wanna eat something or drink tea and then finding myself in the position of cooking for more than 5 people.. [ oh i solved that problem looong ago. stop eating. its really gud for my diet, ya know? ]
-its constantly cleaning up after a bunch of 'fun ppl' and then having them tell you that your a party pooper and no fun coz u never join in their games... [ mebe u shud CONSIDER the probability that i feel like smashing ur face in everytime i see it and when i remember your the one who finished my stash of soy chocolate milk. not even considering the fact that your insistence of speaking in u-kno-wat-lang is beginning to royally piss me off. [[ yes, as u can see, my nerves are a lil frayed... and i may have anger management issues... ]] >_< ]
-or being told that 'someone' can't watch house , coz HOUSE is giving her nightmares :O [ go to YOUR ROOM you fricking < pulling my hair out > ]


these are gud ppl u know.. i 'get' that. theyr really sweet. its unfortunate that i feel like flattening them coz they'r sooper sloppy. or coz theyr mildly irritating. or coz we're SUCH opposites.
hey i think it shows certain strength of character [ to quote the hero of a book i'm reading right now ] when i don't push your teeth up your ass for saying i'm no fun at all. ofcourse i'm no fun when u and ur bestest friends in the whole wide world mess up the house i spent all saturday cleaning. or when u finish all the food. or u casually ask me at 7 in the evening 'hey sheeths what are u planning to cook'.
here's a suitable reply oh-clueless-one, YES i'm eating cereal for dinner. coz I REFUSE TO cook for the whole bunch of you guys anymore..

hey, if i wanted to feed and clean up after ungrateful lazy slobs, i'd get MARRIED AND HAVE CHILDREN. atleast then i cud do something useful , like beat them up. , k am kidding, m kidding! >
so how is it that when i'm cooking, i take the trouble to cook something which everyone likes. but when its your turn to cook for me too, you make something i loathe?? like eggplant < gak! > or some wierd sambar thing which i can't identify???

well i know i know.. there's always an easy solution for everything. and hey! i was the queen of passive agressive warfare. k mebe i didnt invent it, but i really raised it to an art form u know... ask my ex-roomie or best yet my MOM. ha! anyone who lives with her for more than a decade HAS to fall back on those guerrial tactics to get their way.. sneaky sneaky... ah ah aaah. u can't fool me there hon.

sigh.oh well anyways theyr not half bad. its just that i hate clutter. it messes up with my brain somehow. and i hate feeling uncomfortable in my own house [ oh u tell me YOU'd be happy to sit across 'friends' snuggling together under a blanket all evening??? and a third guy asking you to make holige for him [[ for those who don't know, its a sweet, and i hate it. ]] ]
its OBVIOUS why i didnt step out of my room the whole day !!!

aaaaaaaaaaaagh i need to get out tomoro, else i might smash something. most likely being the third guys teeth :P
but boy it feels gud to vent...phew.

nAmE cALliNg aS yOu sEe iT

k ok. psycho i get. i mean i get why ppl wud call me psycho...
but despo ?

hmm well in a strict sense of the word its accurate. we're ALL despo for SOMETHING. wudnt be alive then. as House so famously puts it, we might as well sign our donor cards and kill ourselves otherwise.. but really?? DESPO??

do u think he meant despotic? hmmm that doesnt sound right...

someone has a theory [ i forget the exact acronym person here ], but they think that we're a'll despos, pretending to be cool and uncaring, but despo lonely waiting for that SOMEONE and not willing to show it...
is this wat you meant?? is it??? is it???
:D [ sorry, excuse me while i laugh my head off over that one. u truly think everyone is like that??? ]

aaaawww who knows wat the heck you meant..
but i still think its a cool new nickname :P

your friendly neighbourhood
psycho-despo QoD

ps: if u think ur gonna insult me by calling me names. forget it. like i told one loser, what took you SO LONG, einstein???
[ again its A JOKE. get with the program here... ]

Saturday, December 13, 2008

bRiTe n EaRLy

just coz its a sat mornning..mornin :P

so watsup with YOU guys??? am actually curious for a change.... mebe u shud just drop a line or watever or email me or watever...
i just realized u guys arent all that tech savvy either are u... for all my attempts at staying anonymous myself, there ae BIG HOLES on the blogger site..

aaah but thats ok. i know u guys are cool. ur not like that freakish-cloying-stalker person who mailed me last week. ummmm wait mebe that WAS one of you....

:P fyi i have not watched any newly released movies in the last couple o months. R goes with her 'hubby' ^_^ and the rest of the ppl i know go for tamil movies...
so.... i have zero opinion about this movie too.. k?

ok so i know i know there are loads of things that shud be diff on this page. but they dont have va for all of them ok? trust me i know about the blue, and i can't change that. ive changed all that it allows me tooo easily.

btw how do YOU oient your bed [ boy i just want to hear soo much from u.. ]
ive got a square room, and i've kept it along the diagonal of the square
ha! ya, exactly ;P HOW COOL is that ???
he he. wat else did u expect from me?? oh nyways i got the idea as a friend of a friend of a friend [ don't u hate it when some ppl get anal about details?? omg me too! ] had done the same thing.

Friday, December 12, 2008

mE The iLlusiONiST

i classify MYSELF as the greatest illusionist in the world. but unfortunately i can't tell you ALL the reasons why... coz then i'd ahve to kill you

but ONE of my greatest illusions [ i think ] is that somehow people believe i'm smart and i know what i'm talking about...which is completely ridiculous coz if you've ever actually listened to what i have to say, you pretty much know that all my so called 'wisdom' is derived from House and LOTR and Batman. yup for a person who lives partially in the FOX world and partially in the MArvel comics universe and the rest in Tolkein's universe of Hobbits, i think its pretty crazy when ppl tell me that, "Hey! ur smart or your an adult ... you can def fig out wat is right and wrong...."

are u freaking KIDDING me???
this is ME! the person who thinks that some day BATMAN will come through a portal from another universe and RESCUE all of us. i know u do a ha ha when i tell u that... u prob think i'm kidding. more fool YOU!! stop asking me for advice! helloooooo.... haven't u fig out i'm a kook yet???
boy some ppl believe everything !!

another illusion is that ppl think i'm a highly moral person.
ROFLMAO. boy u have NO IDEA do you??? < shaking my head at you > [ man o man, we got a loooong way to go ]

iF oNLy, pPL woULd

i have a question.

is it possible that the ppl of a country can be loud. can be vocal, involved in the decisions made by that country. can participate and make sure no one takes advantage of them. is it possible that the people themselves police their newspapers, their govs, their political institutions. not through fighting. dissent is always gud, but through actively voting. in making sure they put in their opinion. i don't think the common person is brainless. i don't think he's stupid. is all of them had a voice, would they make sane decisions.
ya ya am talking of the holy grail of democracy itself. i'm not saying they shud resort to riots.

but is that wat all founding fathers of democracy dreamt of? and is it humanly possible?? can there be such a country ? and if no, why not?? why has democracy failed?? how can politics be corrupt?? aren't the ppl supposed to vote those corrupt ppl out. so theoretically shudnt politicians be scared of the ppl??? and do wat they want??

yes yes i know wat ur gonna say. but imagine a place, where everyone was well informed and made their opinion known and put in their vote everytime it counted. that wud be cool huh? or mebe not. wat do i know??

A.P argues that mebe if the partition had not gone through, then there wud be more voilence and more problems. huh. well thats A opinion. the point is we will never know. will we?

did you know that the only reason marijuana is illegal is coz the cotton farmers lobby wanted it to be?? also its less habit forming than nicotine, alcohol and caffeine. THIS my dope fiend friend will like [ hi X! ;P ]

Thursday, December 11, 2008

tiLl i dROp

omg don't tell me you don't like the bee gees , this is where i came in.

i think the psychology of colors is pretty interesting u know... but isn't blue supposed to be a soothing color?? i think its sending me into a mild color induced coma...
but lets try this out for a couple of days, and if all YOU imaginary characters don't like it, well you shud let me know, and i can tell you wat to do with... or i cud change it i guess [ that works too ]

gawd i can't imagine why ANYONE would spend 180 dollars on clothes that are just the same generic JUNK.. i mean for a person that already has like a ZILLION CLOTHES....
[ PN hates that kind of writing... wats it called?? the kind of talk where ur Obviously exaggerating? am too lazy to google... ]
but man. my roomie is one crazy shopaholic :P a pretty cool one. [ thats in case she ever reads this.. ] but crazy nonetheless. am I THE ONLY ONE who knows we're in a recession?? apparently the clothes were really cheap... so she got them even though she probably has 40 other tshirts of the exact same kind [ and trust me this is not a gross exaggeration to say she has more than 40 tshirts of the same kind.. ]

so she got a really really nice comforter/blanket thing. real cheap too.. just 20 bucks. i like it. but the problem is , now the bedsheets don't match.. and so u gotta get new bedsheets.. and NOW while ur buying the new bedsheets you'll like something else, coz of which the comforter will be no gud.. and then you'll get a new comf.....

aaargh this is a vicious cycle.

i don't get ANY of it. i think i need a chocolate to calm myself down
just listen to the song, willya?

I miss Wilson. he never came back from his cabo vacation.

sTraNgeR FiCtiOn

so i was the queen of dispensing advice in my college yrs [ o my god i sound awfully old :O ]. but seroiusly, back then i was more solution oriented. u know how girls just talk and talk about their problems, and all they want is for you to listen to them??
they don't want your advice. all they want is a 'willing heart' and a 'sympathetic ear' ... wait i might have got that backwards...

but guys? wham!! u tell them ur problem, they suggest a solution. it might be a 'stupid' solution, but atleast they think theyr helping. ofcourse then the problem obviously arises when the girls whine to the guys, coz guys think that the girls are asking them for help and then when they suggest something...and then there's the pot throwing and plate smashing.... ok but thats a story for another post...

so... phew.

where was i? oh ya. back in college. when i had just joined engg. and i had these 2 roomies. one was N [ u already know her. hi N ^_^ ] and the other was this girl who was 3 yrs older than us. since i had never had an older sister in my life i was totally in awe of her [ i was also a schmuck but we'll get to that later .. ]. man, o man, i thought she cud literally walk on water .. [ careful, bible reference here.. ]. so she told us this story. ok. about this guy in the college. who was likea few months younger than her. and he was her cousin brother or something. and he kind of liked her.... and was kind of chasing her around. and she didnt have a vehicle... so he had to hitch a ride with him everyday and since he was related to her, she was getting pressurized into a relationship.. yada yada yada.. how he was kind of very insistent.. etc etc
ofcourse helpful soul that i am... i had many suggestions for her to get out of this totally unwanted and forced thing [ this was as i saw it.. ].

- tell him you like someone else [ hey! i thot this was a reasonable excuse u can give ANY persistent admirer ]
- tell him your parents have already found someone for u to marry.
- tell him u have some medical problem coz of which you can't EVER have kids [ as far as i know, all guys love kids and want to have as many as possible... ya i didnt know about sex back then... ]
- tell him you have AIDS and your gonna die in a couple of yrs... [ omg :O i can't believe i actually suggested this in earnest. where did i think we were? in the twilight zone?? ]
- tell him ... actually after that brilliant AIDS plan hit me almost ALL ideas after that centered around, fatal diseases and psycho mumblings...


[ hey !! i thot they were GUD IDEAS!! ]


few weeks later ...

"omg N, did you see that??? omg thats so wierd?? why is she HUGGING him like that as she rides pillion. that too with her brother??? eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww"
[ N rolling her eyes at me ] "why are you such a huge schmuck?? its obvious, he's not her brother. don't you know ANYTHING??"
"oh come on, she wudnt lie to us!! :O girls don't lie to other girls...."
< appalled silence and N shaking her head at my earnest confused face.... >


she moved out and eventually we forgot all about it. 2 yrs later i hear that she's MARRIED the guy. and she has a BABY. excuse me while i THOW UP. [ blech !!! ]
popular gossip states she eloped [ cut off all ties with her parent.. ] and she delivered 6 months after the wedding
:O [ PN lectures that i should just let go of my middle class sensibilities ]

pps: apparently she was lying. he was her boyfriend and she didnt want us saps telling the warden, so THATS why she said he was her brother. but still. eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww.

rEseArcH hiTs iT

ok this is just another ad song... and i liked the ad.

i havent even heard this song all the way...

on another note read this
BBC Gene related to unhealthy eating

thats pretty ridiculous, are they really spending tax dollars on researching stuff we already know??
like the availability of cheap fast food is linked to obesity. [ u Think einstein? ]
or that a pigs orgasm lasts 30 minutes [ wat? omg ]

the rest of the news i have is equally pathetic so lets ditch that fo a while.
u know? i got nothing. nothing that gels with this song. so just listen to it.
i AM doing some elementary research now for a car. i have no clue what to buy ...
thnx K for all the help !

but then K is like the .... like the .... [ who's the craziest obsessed freak u know? ] of cars. i cudn't care less. its just a transportation device that takes me from point A to point B. so that just makes it all the harder, right? coz now u have like used, leased and new cars to consider. i guess i can say new is outa the q coz man i really have no money! [ the darn driving classes took half of it !! grrrr ]

k here's wat i got so far and am sorry but i need to put it down somewhere and an excel sheet for 5 entries seems a bit too much....
honda accord
honda civic
subaru something
mazda something
and a toyota ? no wait K hates toyotas.... ummm k i forgot the fifth. he's gonna KILL me :-/ [ K gets annoyed with any show of disrespect to his darlings AND especially if u forget the names of his babies... calm urself K! i'm sure it'll come back to me soon... ]