Saturday, April 30, 2011

cHinKy Fu

just so happens i find i'm on a plane to beijing on monday.


now that was quick. especially considering i don't have my passport back from the visa office yet.

oh, wait. that's why i have disaster somewhere in my name don't i? apparently they have an option, where they would meet you at the airport with the visa and passport.
you know when your reeeeaaaallly in a hurry and can't wait for the post office to get its act together, or fedex.

that's cutting it reeeaally close isn't it?

so... off i am for 2 weeks.

Monday, April 25, 2011

hOw tO sAy hi

i shall now cr8 blasphemy.. wait that sentence is like.. all wrong. i shall now.. do blasphemy.. blasphemize?? da**it. anyways i shall now say something which is probably blasphemy to half of you out there.
i don't like FB. i did type out the whole name, but somehow i had this vision of fb cosp braking down the door in the night and carting me off to places unseen.

this is probably the nth post detailing how much i dislike fb. i mean what do you say?
you know the situation? when ur at a party talking to ppl... and suddenly everyone falls silent and is waiting for you to speak. just waiting for you to floor them with ur wit and uproarious hillariousness. speak da**it. say something funny. everyone's looking at u.. aargh the pressure is too much.
that's why i don't go to parties.
FB is something like that. everyone is right there. the most inane "hey how you doing" that you can come up with, is right there. the moment you ping someone, you have this sneaky sensation that ppl are smirking that you cant come up with funny things to say or funny cartoons of cats playing the piano at hogwarts or something slightly less banal. ok ok "I" feel it.
and its not like you can say anything else after 6 months of not loggin in and all you want to do is say hi.

what DO you say?

"hey i was just reminiscing about the good old college days and i remembered you and thought i'd say hi?"

ooooh that's a good one. let me write that down, so i can post it the next time i login. like after 4 months.

ps: i feel like i shud somehow acknowledge the nice folks who leave comments , but you know.. um... i really dunno what to tell u. so i will just walk away. and thanks for reading and not calling me a pinhead?? umm ok bye.

yuMm... sOme mOre pLs

so the cafeteria in my office does these specials.. local folks come by and sell jam, salsa , cookies, on occassion - pot... naah i'm kidding. pot might be legal in dear ol oregon, but no one sells pot at my office... that i know of.

but there was this lady on friday evening, handing out brownie samples.. and i had some. and they were awesome !! awesome and Awesome!

so, ofcourse i bought the pack and i was excited. here i cud go home and have brownies after dinner.. ofcourse i shud pace myself and not have the whole pack all at once. i really shud start that diet .. but man they were soooo goooood and goooey and delish.... and vegetarian to boot!

so i go home and K stopped by. and i showed him the pack. he wasn't very enthusiastic coz he's already started his diet. but ha! i'll start mine after this pack of brownies is o-v-e-r.

and so after dinner i go and open the pack.

wth. whats this powder? this is brownie MIX???!! when did this happen???
oMG was this, what that lady was babbling while i was tasting the brownie in the cafe???? that i had to actually Make em??? she can't talk while i'm eating awesome brownies... thats like.. cheating !!

by god i was so lost in its deliciousness i completely overlooked the fact that i have to MAKE the blasted brownies???? with APPLE sauce and vanilla yoghurt. what the heck is apple sauce and where do i get some stat?? do you think if i shook the bag a couple of times, they would appear????

aaaaw man, i was really looking fwd to a couple of them after the fab dinner.. and that's how we ended the evening. with K rolling on the floor laughing......

Monday, April 18, 2011

i ThOughT yOU sAid goOD neWs!

ugh.. all is lost. Mr T is thinking of getting P into our team!

ofCOUrse all hell breaks loose , as soon as the indie folk hear about this.

and ofcourse you can hear all sorts of groaning and sighing from the lowlie tech coolies in the lab. ( i'm not racist..that's ME for crissake! )

what is he THINKING?? is this a test? of some strange how-long-b4-u-breakdown-and-stab-P-in-the-eye-with-ur-lunch-fork kind of test?? if so, then i do NOT want your bonus, or your help or .. or.. ok i don't know if i'll quit.
but good GOD. why HER?? i mean isn't it enough we slave fourteen... even eighteen hours a day ?? her?? HER?? her who looked at the android logo and asked me what kind of bug it was???

i think come monday morning.. you WILL see a lot of weeping , gnashing of teeth and pulling of hair.. and thats only me we're talking about. no idea how V will take it. he might quit! just plain up and leave! aah brave V. the only guy with a marketable skill set. lucky V!! how i envy you.

well folks. stock up on ur spirits. take a heavy swig. barricade the door to ur cubicle and wait for the news.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

tHis iS ArT, dArNit!

aaaha! finally finished.

i can't take credit.. this was in the opening credits of miyazaki's cartoon, ponyo. while i discover that netflix is my friend...
i finished this over the weekend.

ps: you'r only allowed to say its awesome.
pps: what can i say? i really like blue?


my left eyelid is still swollen :( but i can't really give that excuse for not blogging. how about this? i was busy earning that darn promotion.. which only means more moolah.. bwuahahahahaha ;P

update: everytime i feel blue, i just look at these paintings.... see what i did there?? blue?? get it? get it??

Saturday, April 16, 2011

aM i ReaLly BacK?

if the only thing i get to hear everytime i call home is how "awesome it would be" for me to bloat up to twice my size and spawn a mini-me.. then thats what you too will be forced to read for the next.. oh say i don't know.. xx years.

so i thought my life had got boring.. now that i was hitched , and ppl ( my family ) finally left me in peace... but oh no! its just a short termed break i got. little do i know that folks are just gathering their breath for the next tidal wave of barraging.

so now... where is my escape plan and emergency runaway kit again? oh! here they are! we're all set and the only thing left to do is book the airline tickets to siberia or alaska.
i think i'll take my chances with russians/polar bears rather than listen to more of this right now..

hellooooo...... ppl...... i am not ready.... what part of that is so difficult to understand???
i would rather stick a fork in my eye.....difficult to grasp????... should i stick it and show you????

Monday, April 11, 2011

suRviVaL sKiLLs

going home for a visit is a serious test of your immunity, system, digestion.

with all the well meaning folks who insist you eat the special halwa, peda, khara, jalebi "they" made. it's not like they make normal quantities either. for some twisted reason, they make the same quantity you would have eaten if you lived there and then wait for you to finish it.
ofcourse then you have the offended moms/aunties if your unable to stuff your face full of awesome jamuns.

"omg, how could you not eat it. i spent 3 days making this stuff"
"maa'am you are better off, just giving me curd rice for 10 days, because my system is revolting so hard that its pushing all the stuff back the way it came.. through my easophagus."

i only have one response. "please pack it."

whatever you got. make them non perishable and pack them.

please i cannot eat it. 4 years of cereal and toast has made my system extremely sensitive to sugar and oil and fat.
one jamun is all i can take.
i can think about the jalebi .. the week after.
no no not eat it. i said "think" it.

now it turns out, i was the only one who made it through this trip with just some minor cough. the rest had fever, fever, jetlagged induced cold , vomiting , yada yada yada.
what? am i the only one with the constitution of an ox??

perhaps its all the conditioning trips i've had to india.

actually there is a secret. eat only idlis , dosas. yup for 10 days straight. eat only idlis and sambar.

tHerE's a GoOd reAsOn.. i kNow iT

there's a very good reason i don't call home often. i just KNEW there was.

i thought things were supposed to get BETTER ppl.. not WORSE :-/

sorry about the resolution and the stick figuredness. but i use paint. and you got the point didn't you... just click on the image. you'll be able to read it without having to gouge your eyes out... excuse me! there's no need for that kind of language !