Friday, May 29, 2009

ribBoNs , bAyonEtS aNd gaUntLetS

so now that i'm getting married... [ oh btw apparently i'm getting married ]




oh alrite. i'll give you 10 minutes to process that.




wat so you mean u don't understand???
how hard is it to understand???

listen very very carefully.

here, u shud read my lips.

apparently...i... am... get..ting... married.

yes the word 'apparently' is very important in that sentence. why?
becoz i don't think i fully believe it.
ofcourse i have this vague feeling that i'll be standing on my marriage stage thingy and saying "i don't believe it. i just don't believe it. wat do you MEAN i'm getting married??"

in fact 10 yrs down the line i might call you up and say "dude, i got married"

oh you think this is like a fairy tale? are u kidding! its more like a kick in the backside where life is finally saying, "wake up. time to grow up. stop playing the eternal fool..."

aaaw but all in all i think i might be happy about it. i mean somewhere inside. deeep deeeeep dddeeeeeeeep inside :D

ok OK I'M KIDDING i'M KIDDING. i'm obviously thrilled. i mean what's not to be thrilled?? ofcourse it's thrilling.... errr.


and no R i don't feel any butterflies in my stomach yet. i feel like my head was kicked by a horse.
yes yes.
in shock. that's exactly how i feel. but all in all.


seE iT iN uTaH

OMG did i have the most fantastic trip EVER !!

a whirlwind tour of utah and part of arizona.

ok so we flew down to SLC, drove to moab, saw the arches national park the whole day.
we actually hiked up to see the delicate arch :O
and that too when i had got my .... ahem :O

then we drove to page arizona. saw the antelope canyon. saw the awesome shafts of light , lighting up the canyon brilliantly. man-o-man. then we camped on the shores of lake powel after a boat cruise :)
and the next day was a mad dash back to SLC. reached the boarding gate 30 seconds before everyone started boarding :D
the funniest part was when the lady kindly informed us that it was a 7 hr drive abckl to Salt lake city from page, AZ and we choked on our coffees as we thought it was just 5 hrs...

man i have NO WORDS to describe the country i saw, the landscapes, the grand vistas.

the mountain ranges. and i know i might forget them somewhere into the deep recesses of my mind. but i'll never forget the feeling of having my breath taken away.

u shud go. to see those rocks, all shaped by wind and water. and nature.
oh btw antelope canyon is on private lands, in indian Navajo reservation land. and eons ago, that's where ppl lived. the Navajo indians. kids played there, ran there, generations lived there ^_^

i wonder if those ppl ever feel jaded.
seeing the same thing again and again. or if they feel the same sense of wonder we feel, when we see it for the first time ^_^

ok so we hiked to see the delicate arch no?
uhhhhhh i have NO WORDS ...
trust me. u need to put that on ur bucket list. put it now, put it now!!
stand on top of that mountain or watever and look at that arch shaped by nature. and as i stood there, i looked at the cloudy, rainy skies and thought to myself. in places like this, i can believe in the existence of God.

i mean just look at it!!
its ... it's .... aaaaaargh. no words. i think we need to invent a new word for these kind of things ... :D
phew. but you shud go. will post some pics as soon as i get em. but you shud SOOOOO go.

all i saw for 3 days is blue, brown and more blue. no green at all. its all desert country you know :)

saw so many empty acres and acres of land. and i wanted it all. the space, the land, the horse ranch. and a big house , ok a lil house in the middle of nowhere :D
aaah silly empty pipe dreams, but what's wrong in having empty pipe dreams anyways :)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

tHe PeRfeCt liFe

man !! talk about a morning!! :O

you shud also take a half hour to talk to the security guard of your building.
trust me. you might hear a story so unbelievable that it might sound like science fiction !!

so i came in early today, coz i woke up at like... 4 AM. [ and realized i had never switched off the stove with the peas on it. and they're like carbon now. ugh ]
and was stopped by Mary.

she started off on something and was telling me how she has 1000 dollar sun glasses and loui vitton ... vutton?? ok vuitton handbags. and u know her key chain is like 200 dollars her belt is 300 dollars etc etc and i was barely paying attention. and i was like, my god. mebe this is the reason the US is in such deep shit. i tell u , i hadn't even HEARD of half the shopping boutiques in NY.

and she was talking about how she got divorced like 2 yrs ago after 16 yrs of marriage. and how she cud afford all this before her divorce..

now i was curious. i know everyone has a story, but this seems interesting.
so i asked her about NY and she tells me her husband was a principal engineer in NY and they owned a semiconductor refurbishing company there. they made like 250K grand a yr and she's been to paris, london, caribbean, etc etc and travelled the globe and shopped only in haute couture. etc etc.

[ but now SHE's a security GUARD for intel!!??! ]

curioser and curiouser.

then now she's alone making min, but she has savings and i don't pay a lot of attention to that. but then she casually mentions that she's not that worried about moeny coz they have real estate which will be sold off now. and i'm like. oh? where is this estate. she says she's part of this estate and she personally owns a street. IN FRIGGIN SAN FRANSISCO!!

the de Salvo street.

ok so now i'm standing there with my jaw hanging open. and i'm like. OMG.
so she tells me about her silver spooned childhood and how she lived in one of those mansion kind of places... etc etc

so wat happened? with the marriage?? after 16 years???
apparently the husband started drinking too much, and watched too much p*rn or something and wanted ungodly acts to be performed in the ahem.. u know.. err.. bedroom. and .... that's when i was grimacing and she stopped. apparently she was more christianly and i latched on to that and hung on for dear life.
[ no no we shud talk more about how faith is an imp anchor in life, instead of unnatural and ungodly acts in the bedroom ... ]
so apparently he got tired of being married. or watever. and that was it.

so now she stays with this guy also a technician in Intel and he has 3 kids, but he's been divorced for 16 yrs. so it's very slow. like they're taking it slow.
and then she says, "u know the ppl out here are so snooty and they think i'm just fluff when they can't even touch my wardrobe. i have a jewelry case of 250k alone.
out here we have an IT guy, a helicopter pilot, a school teacher finishing her masters as security guards coz they just can't find jobs elsewhere.

:O and that my dears is the lesson of the day.
never ever EVER judge a book by its cover.

Monday, May 18, 2009

dRoPs oF hApPineSs


it struck me quite forcibly today.

when i got out of the office and the weather was F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C
i mean it was GORGEOUS.

u know what? if we didn't have such crappy weather the rest of the year, i'd NEVER appreciate all this. the sun, the clouds, the calm sunshine, the evergreens... ^_^
swimming in the pool under the sunny and non-hot skies.

so mebe the next time its pouring cats and dogs and its darn depressing, [ which is tonight, right till tomorrow afternoon, i'll be more grateful and not so critical of nature ]

ok OK i'm grinning, i'm smiling. i may be grinding my teeth, but i'm trying my darnedest not to kick someone at this infer... ok nice rain, which will continue till tomorrow afternoon :P

naah am kidding. always love rain.

paCk tHeM iN

i had a productive weekend.

well consider the insane number of hours shopping for ONE dress and the productivity drops a bit. also consider that i DIDN'T go to the beach like i originally planned to, and the productivity drops a lil more... aaaw phooey.


ok so we went to this concert, band thing. by a amateur geek band. seattle based and it was for charity. so a good thing. and i had 2 samosas . yaay! and ... and
so A and her bf don't really understand Hindi. and were whining about how they shud play some tamil songs instead. and how boring everyone was and how much more cooler Tamil ppl were... [ and here i admit , before God and man, that i lost my temper a bit and was a wee bit blunt, when i told her, she better have stayed in every damn place in India to make that statement that Tamil ppl are the bestest and mostest fun ]


wat i'd like is just ONE mangalorean out here in Portland. and just you wait. your eyes will cross and you'll fall down weeping. when you see how much fun mangaloreans can be. calm down? waddaya mean calm down?? I AM CALM DAMMIT!!

ok anyways. so then.
hmm so we were supposed to do something fun after that. going somewhere fun for dinner. but u know what happened. all the places close by 8.
so we ended up going home and they ate cereal. me? PUH-lEEase. i SCOFF at cereal.

now i rode home with K. not the K from east coast. let me call him K.portland. not that K, this K. :D
ok ok K-2389723.
this will be a unique idenitifier for portland K [ except that as soon as i hit publish, i'll forget the number and then where will we be?? ]
he's pretty funny. this guy. and he wanted to watch a movie. so in the end, since everyone was exhausted from all the idli sambar we had in the morning and the shopping we had done earlier in the day, i was the only one in K's house. at midnight watching a movie. and what did we watch?? fashion.


yup. you heard me correctly. we watched FASHION!
i woudl really like to get my hands on the person who recommended that movie to me. get my hands on them and beat them silly. i mean COME ON. that movie was nothing but a bunch of dumb cliches.
jeez. i could have written a better script. trust me.
for sure i'd throw in a couple of high speed car chases, some alien abductions, some fast track dance numbers... :D

ok ok. so since we anyways started watching it, i held off on falling flat on my face till it got over. it got over at 3 and forget it man. i aint driving back home that time of the night [ you know how i amazing my sense of direction is. i just don't want to land up in california or seattle... ]
so i crashed in his pad. but then the curse struck the next morning. i mean come ON, will my insomnia EVER gimme a break??

so there i was at 6 in the morning. awake and wanting to go home and not wanting to wake him up. and so i did the only logical thing i could. i snuck out of his house, quietly closing the door behind me and trying my best not to look like i had a one night stand and was going home with a massive hangover after a hard night's partying, to any onlookers.

man the weather is AWE. SOME.
so i went for a jog, went for a swim. went shopping again with A. actually found a nice dress. came home and cooked dinner for my friends and then promptly fell flat on my face.

phew! that was an EXHAUSTING DAY.

so you see. i was kinda justified in neglecting you guys...don't you think?
and besides. what are you doing?? reading this post?? you should be OUTside. but now i see it clearly. the lure of living in california. i wanna go to california tooooo.

dEep aNd StiLl

strictly speaking, i don't think i'm that totally 'there' in terms of spatial cognition or just plain awareness of my body. sometimes i think that even my subconscious mind probably just sees me as a floating head. without the rest of the body attached to it.


i know!!
the only reason i think that, is coz i keep bumping into things.... or stumbling over stuff left on the floor.... or knocking things down... or hitting sharp corners of furniture [ ouch! ] etc etc

yest i had a reeeeeally nice swim, well swimming wud be taking it a step too far. i was generally doing a very good immitation of plankton in the water... lying on my back and looking at the clouds... while [ you know i see no reason why i can't wear my glasses in the pool. u c i can't cloud gaze very well without my glasses. that's it. today i wear my glasses into the pool. ] so anyways i was just floating on my back, with my eyes closed and then for some reason i open one eye and look to the side, see something that looks like someone swimming under me and get really frightened
i mean i thought someone had sneaked up on me [ hey!! haven't you seen any teenage comedy horror movies??? ] and anyways i got so frightened, i immediately turned over, all sputtering and swallowing water and looking around, searching for this person.
ofcourse there wasn't a person.

what i had seen was only my hand.

[ I KNOW!! what am I?? A RETARD??? ]

and i stare at my hand in disbelief. wondering why my brain doesn't even know enough to keep in mind that my hand would be next to my body. right there, attached to my shoulder... and floating in the water along with the rest of me....

jeez man. [ so well then. here's one more reason i shud consider wearing my glasses in the pool. atleast i will not startle myself when i see myself in the water. uh-oh that can be taken in a multitude of ways... ]


really!! sometimes i just dumbfound myself!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

tHerE's a tiMe tO sHoP

aaaahhhhh a seriously long overdue post

hmmm let me guess the scintillating topic [ no even 'I' don't know the topic till i reach about halfway through the post... ]

oooh. its about the fascinating difference between guys and girls when it comes to buying stuff and spending money.
actually saw this cartoon strip.
wife gets back from shopping groceries
wife: "i spent 4 hours and only 98.45 for all the groceries!!!
[ husband is too long a word, so i'll just say ] man: "organic vegetable mayo sauce??"

guy returns from the store the next time
man: "i spent only 20 min shopping, but the bill is 459.23"
wife: "why do we have 23 different types of canned tuna?"


its true.
take for example - when we want to
furnish our living room

most guys - go to one store. finding everything there on the first day. pay the darn bill and get OUT of there. they wudn't bother about the bill, coz they'd prob just go to Wall-mart or Ikea in the first place.. heyy. doesn't get simpler. RIGHT???
[ guys mind[?]: so long as the bank savings aren't wiped out. and the recliner is comfortable and the tv screen is B-I-G. what do we care??
also its easy to make these sweeping generalizations coz if u notice i said M-O-S-T guys. if you are the rare nut who still likes to disagree with me, i can just point out maybe you are NOT like most guys and then question you're masculinity. ha!! CLEARLY i'm brilliant :P ]

most girls - spend 10 days observing other living rooms to get the general idea of what's there. the initial scouting mission might also comprise of going to all neighborhood furniture outlets to see what's available. agonize over the color scheme. decide on the theme. go to Target, to get what you can out there.. to get by till you have your main furniture, buy placehold tacky furniture that is very clearly temporary. this buys you some time until sales, bank balance, decided on colors...
make repeated trips to Ikea. check online. buy one matching piece at a time. painstakingly co-ordinating the colors.... and even themes. process wuold probably take months. in the end we'd donate the extra furniture away. and have a pleasing living space for the whole family. with perfumed pot pouri and flower vases kept artistically in the corner. book shelves and lamps placed strategically around that all came together in a harmonious symphony of pleasant aesthetics to create a positive zen effect.
[ whoa!! even typing that was exhausting enough. ok i'm reverting to my original plan A. in MY room i'll have a recliner, a hammock and all books stored in crates. ]

about buying gifts

some guys - oh man. her b'day coming up. how about a gift card. or a toolkit? she's ALWAYS borrowing mine. don't you think, a toolkit is a good gift?
ok this isn't so hard. there are plenty of choices for girls... and she keeps telling me what she likes.. now if only i could remember any of what she said. yada yada yada. always yammering away. talking... always with the talking. why can't they just shut up for once?? the mind can only take so much. always switches off when she drones on for more than 15 minutes...
hmmm mebe a dress. [ dress size? style? horror of all - color??? ] ok mebe a shoe. or a perfume. bingo!! that's best. a perfume. and some flowers.
right we're done.

some other guys - b'day?? ok chocolates. what kind of b'day gift is that?? hey i have this policy. on not to spend money on girls. all girls are money grubbing... oooomph [ narrator has stuffed the mike into the guy's mouth and hit him silly with her handbag ]
[ >_< OK EL CHEAPO. we get the point. your a Tight ass. allow me to remove the stick from ur ass and beat you with it. :O ]

also girls can't understand how anyone can NOT spend money on them. i mean aren't they sweet lovable giving creatures??? how can u not just rip your wallet open and shower them with gifts ??? :D
aaah the eternal dance between man and woman.
and his wallet.

what could be more symbolic of life??


Friday, May 15, 2009

tAkiNG a sHoT

man we were soooo tired from carting all those planks around... when we got home, she calls P to come help us carry the plank home from the car, and he's like
"i'm watching a movie, can't we do that later ??"


guys are such pigs!!
anyways we blackmailed.... ok she blackmailed him to come help us, and he did. bout 10 min later and we got all the stuff up....hufff huffff....

[ ok a lil background here.... me and A went to Ikea to get her a bed frame.. and it was friggin heavy!! man. and i scratched myself , but ok we digress.... ]

so the thing is kind of complicated to assemble and since we're like totally busy the whole weekend, [ A's bf who is P has a cricket match, we need to shop for a camping trip..etc etc v.v.imp man ] she asked if we could do it today, but he was like
"today is MY day, i'm not doing anything. very tired.... so i can't help you"

< ghastly deathly silence >

O-M-G!! ok so all of this was going on in the gobbldygook language, and guess my T is getting better coz i understood all of that... but now she suddenly goes all quite and i'm like uh-oh. you are like SO screwed dude! what were you THINKING!! whatever you just told her, it was SOOO the wrong thing to say...


anyhooo, A stops in the middle of borrowing the drill bit and hammer from a friend and says never mind, we'll do it later. and goes all scary silent kinds...and i'm just sitting there... right there!!! [ ok come on, pretend u understood nothing and whistle. ok damn it, i can't whistle for nuts and don't make eye contact with anyone. A looks like she's gonna burst into tears any sec. P looks like he'd like to hit someone... for God's sake don't make eye contact. and KEEP whistling. uh-oh may day may day, we have eye contact, start talking... i dunno wat! just something...anything!!. make sure A does NOT cry.
distraction... we need A distraction.
ok stumble over the wooden plank and fall on ur face.. that's a good distraction. ur not forced to console anyone if ur bleeding and unconscious on the floor are you?? ... [[ as you might have guessed i'll do anything to avoid confronting a weepy woman. ]]
well then i did the next best thing. went into my room to pretend i'm doing something important and ignore the rising tension. [ man, i tell u. its all a bunch of roses till someone decides they'd rather go ride they're bike than help us assemble house furniture :P ]
ok ok anyways.. so then we have dinner and there is this death chill in the room. and me sitting there desperate to diffuse the tension. and i start talking about kites. [ wtf!! KITES?? why the heck are we talking about KITES?? ] and some other random stuff. and then P tells how he had gone for a bike ride at 3, got stuck in traffic and finally reached home at 7.... which i am forced to admit is pretty tiring. and i'm making all the proper sympathetic noises.. and...

[ what am i?? the comic relief here??? where is my 2 million contract and corner RV?? ]

yes. YES it was a tiring day for ME too!! how did you guess?? yes yes being the stronger of the two, doing mosting of the carting :P ...
observing random kitchen, bedroom, living room furniture... making all those agreeing noises when she goes oooh isn't that cute?? but shud i pick this one or that one?? [ and ur like whatever man...who the heck cares?? they both look stupid. pick something and lets get outta here... ]
basically doing what YOU'RE SUPPOSED to be doing as ur the BF NOT ME!! YES!! i'm tired too!!

and YES it IS exhausting to reconcile 2 young ppl in love who are having a lover's tiff. in FACT i HIGHLY recommend you not to attempt it, and instead go have a daqueri instead

and boys?? u can either sleep in peace or u can have a girlfriend.
girls ALWAYS wanna either talk, or discuss feelings, or discuss where this is going... or discuss they're next home improvement project [ and they DO want your opinion... even if u cudn't care less ]
so you clearly have a choice, its either u get her drunk or you slip some pills into her coffee. that way she falls flat on her face, and you CAN finally sleep in peace! and dude, yes i AM telling you to grow a pair. come ON!! are you a MAN or a MOUSE??? :P
ok i admit, NOW i'm just having fun :P

phew. ok. i showed all proper levels of enthusiasm for all stories. NOW can I go sleep??

sParK oF cOLor

heyy thanks K!!! for the pic ^_^

somehow i really like it :P its going up on the wall. like The wall. u know...
hmmm would be interesting to have a mini gallery on my wall now wouldn't it??
i'd have to remove that corny pic of me and my friends huh.

ok ok back to the pic.
i shall call it......
"an ode to loneliness"
hmm too corny.
ok ok i'll call it...
"Life" ... no wait "L-o-v-e"
i can just see him choking on his coffee.

how about..... "Alien and unrealistic to find this color on planet earth flower"
:D hee sorry. ok OK i'm kidding.

that's it. i'm sticking with 'L-o-v-e'

now my SF trip is cancelled. and i'm thinking of going to alaska for a break.
how does one go to alaska for a break??
like a cruise or something?
prob or something...

Thursday, May 14, 2009

sHip iS waiTiNG

the new lincoln ad song

shiny toys - major tom , orig by peter schilling.

omg did u see the last ep of house ???
its fascinating. u know... right brain left brain conflicts.
i love it!

its true u know.. we all have two personalities. have you read the book blink? apparently its about how our right brains intuitively know the right decision to make.. and sometimes less information is best. ha! i know that can be true.

house says something -
the left brain is the one, that's obsessed with finding an answer. the logic, the math, the reasoning.
the right brain is the mute loser.

aah but that's not true House. the right is the one that 'knows' even when we do not.
its the one that allows you to love poetry, the full moon, photographs and our place in the universe. yeah someone says all that too..

oooh i like the new lincoln ads.
spiffy :P

so my mom is coming here in july. apparently the month of aati. she can't search for... [ :O wth!! ]
ha! puhlease. i'm shipping my mom off to all my relatives first couple of months.. let her see half of the US.... egad! can you imagine if i have to ferry her around?? hmm no i guess not. just book nonstop flights..

btw is europe the second biggest continent? and is it bigger than the US???
sorry had to run..
ok apparently it is.. oooh i had forgotten all about this stuff when i passed 6th grade...
well anyways. it was just a small argument bw me and P.

ok coming back to the left brain , right brain discussion.
are you a left brainer or right brainer. its possible to have 2 strong sides [ like yours truly ] but which side dominates?
chances are if your in the field of engg, medicine, math, logic. then its obvious ur left brian has dev stronger and dominates your decisions.
now if your creative, artsy, floosy, make decisions based on the lunar cycle.. then ur right brain dominates :P
and if you're a left brain dominant [ by the way i've taken that test and i know i'm one for sure. a creature of logic. highly honed, refined, not every sane person can understand it kind of logic :P ]
but ... if you are a left brain dominant and unfortunately u have this really strong right brain that keeps giving you helpful hints/nudges/hits on the head, to do the opp of whatever u shud be doing. that makes for some pretty interesting internal conflicts :P

trust me. i know < rolling my eyes >

by the way, in the episode they said since the right brain cannot always know wats logical, it might help to verbalize ur decisions so that it can hear em too. but i think, that was only for those ppl where the connection bw the left and right brain was lost. hmmm but it can't hurt huh?
ok i'm gonna experiment. verbalizing all my decisions, and choices .. ok basically instead of talking to myself in my head, i'll just vocalize the process. sure a couple of ppl might give me some strange looks, and most ppl might be actively worried about my sanity... but heyy. this is science.
wat do i hope to prove? oh i dunno... methinks i can come up with some interesting conclusions.

ok 10 bucks says i can.

ok ur on.

[ did one half of my brain just place a bet with the other half??? :O ]

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

pRotEctiNg thEm

the story continues...

me: "OMG AN-D is pregnant!! they're having a baby!! that is SO COOL..." [ congrats AN-D! :) ]

A: "oh!!! that is nice...." < wistful voice >

A's bf: avoiding eye contact. and focusing on his sandwich.

me: "apparently it was unplanned"

A's bf: < looking interested now > "huh? how does that happen...."

me: "i dunno!! but they're still very excited!" ^_^

A: "ha! it can't be unplanned. obv the girl planned it..."

me: "no no no... she was still in shock..."

A: "ha! obv she'll say that now. but it was planned..."

me: "no no no.. she SAID it was unplanned..."

A: "haha! obv! if the guy keeps saying he's not ready , then obv the girl has to do something like that!" < says it oh-SO calmly/nonchalantly and continues with her sandwich. >

A's bf: < still hasn't gotten the full implications and is so cute in his cluelessness. still focused on his sandwich >

me: "dude.... DUDE. look alive dude!! did u hear that :D u better be careful!!"

A's bf: "huh? what? what happened??"

me: < repeat what she said. I see the light dawning on his face :D by now i'm roflmao >

A's bf: "DUDE!! you girls are DANGEROUS!! that's it. i'm gonna make sure i always wear a ******

me: "stop STOP! TMI TMI DUDE. too much information. oh-my eyes!! get these images out of my head!!"

:P man its a laugh riot in my house. every day.
apparently guy's ALWAYS THINk they're too young to get hitched, too young to have kids.
HEY. here's a NEWS FLASH. forget it already. your GIRLFRIENDS are already going ahead with the PLAN. you can either go along quietly with some semblence of dignity or go down kicking and screaming..

H comes over. for a bite.

me: hey. so i hear you're going around with this girl.

H: its not decided yet.

me: hmmm... i c i c.

H: my friend N said if i started dating her, i could forget talking to him. ever.

me: u shud stick to this friend N. he seems to be a true friend.

H: what does THAT mean!! :O come on. she's a nice girl!

me: sure! whatever... < rolling my eyes >

H: heyy it'll be hard to find a girl better than her.

me: are you insane?? even a gerbil might be better girl than her! even an insane chimpanzee on steroids.. ok ok. what are you thinking?? searching for some masochistic next cheap thrill??? i can just drill a hole in your head, u know..

H: so what are you saying? that YOU want to go out with me?

me: uh no thank you. no offense but i'd rather blow my brains out.

H: how is that, no offense? that's rude!

me: sorry :P good luck with ur crazy girlfriend. if matters get very serious, i can kidnap you and leave u in the middle of some forest. u might die a less painful death....

and it goes on. with him waxing poetic and me trying to convince him he needs to get an MRI done. i now know that love is not only BLIND, it is pretty much DEAF and DUMB too..


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

rAinChEcK pLanS

me: hey! carpe diem! seize the day!!

X: is that how you ended up with a holiday package for 4 to hawaii??

me: yup!!

so for some reason we were discussing the old testament. me and A.
so for some reason we were discussing the story of Abraham who had to sacrifice his son Isaac to God.

me: ... so then abraham was asked to kill his son. and he had to take him to a mountain and cut his head off?? blind him .. something..and i think ....
A: omg they totally copied tamil.
me: .... wat?? ur saying the bible COPIED the story from tamil mythology??
A: yeah yeah don't you rem?? that guy ?? wat was his name?? he was asked to kill his... his ... his MOTHer that's it!!
me: are you talking about PARASHURAM??? WHEN DID HE BECOME TAMIL!!! [ OMG ARE U KIDDING ME?? ] uhhh he's not tamil. he's like .. from indian mythology. and basically connected to MANGALORE. stop making my entire heritage OBSOLETE!!! >_<
A: yeah yeah the same thing only na.
me: ... [ i want to cut off MY Head now. ]

in sOmE paRtS o' ToWn

A: lets go downtown. i want to go to the carnival.

me: sure. we can just.. like walk around there if we can't find it. coz we don't see anything about the carnival online..

[ so we go , get lost there. its darn confusing to drive anywhere in that downtown. after driving on the same bridge 3 times and getting horribly lost. we stop somewhere and decide to ditch the carnival for now. ]

me: heyy there's a chinese garden. we can go see that! i like chinese stuff.

A: sure. whatever. i'm tired of driving.

20 min later we've gone through the whole garden and standing outside. the garden is now closed.

me: well that was quick.

A: ... we have another 40 min on the parking meter.... now what??

me: well this looks like china town. lets look around!

A: ok!

10 minutes later. we're standing in front of this theatre kind of place. with these posters with the names of some kind of show..
our heads tilted to one side, we try to figure it out...

A: what IS this??

me: i dunno. it looks like some kind of bar, show thing.

A: but why are the women SO UGLY??



and SO BIG??

me: i dunno. see? there's a bette midler's poster. do you think she comes here too??
mebe its a singing show....

A: what IS it??

me: i dunno.. see there's a poster saying minors are not allowed. are you a minor? they pro-bably serve alcohol.

A: ofcourse NOT. i'm older than 21.

this goes on for another 5 minutes while passers by are giving us strange looks as we stand there gawking at the posters.



some dim bulb goes Ting! in my head.

me: omg. OMG. come on. lets get out of here...

A: what? what happened? why??

me: come on. < half dragging her away, pulling on her sleeve > this isn't anywhere you want to be. lets go.


me: shhh shhhh shhhhhh. they're 'drag queens' < voice dropped to a whispher. going sotto voice mode >

A: dr-a-g qu-ee-n. WHAT'S A DRAG QUEEN???

me: shhh shhhhh shhhhhhhh. not so loud. they're men dressed as women.

A: but why?? why would they want to do that?? < she lowers her voice in response to my frantic shushing >

me: i don't know. its a thing. a whole sub culture thing. u know.. drag queens. singin shows. bars. ppl drinking. lets get out of here.

A: i don't think that's it. you've probably misunderstood. see there? that sign says 'fe-male im-per-son-ators' what does THAT mean??

me: shhhhhhh its that exactly. < some quick explaining. men dress as women. yada yada yada >

A: you mean like 50-50?

me: < groan > no no nooooo.

quick 30 second briefing on drag queens and cross dressers and transgenders and other
... ppl....

A: so there's those ppl doing a strip show??

me: WAT? where did you see THAT sign?? eeeew who wants to see men dressed as women, stripping?? eeeew where does it say they have a strip show??

she shows the sign

me: OMG is this D____'s?? i've heard of this place!! QL's friends wanted to come here for her b'day for a surprise party!! omg this is like a male strip club on sat evenings.

A: oh... so that's prob it. mebe sat evenings they have those shows.

me: ok that's it. lets go.

A: but now i'm curious. i want to go in and see.

me: ....


you want to see? what DO you want to see?? lets come back here with your bf. < incoherent babbling as i try to get her away. by now i'd agree to anything so i cud get OUT of there.. >

A: he won't come. < scoffs > why will he come here..

me: ok ok lets get H. H wud come. let's go.

A: < mollified and reluctantly > ok. that's doable i guess. are you sure we can't just step in to have a look? we can get lemonade. neither of us drink.

me: NO. LET'S GO !! < hotfoot it out of there >

exit scene - 2 nutcases

neEdEd - oNe rEsTraiNing OrdEr

last evening -

me: "omg heyy check out my fen-u-greek plants. i just dumped some fen-u-greek seeds into the pot, and now they're alive!! look!! this is life growing in my room!!" < blabbering in excitement >

A: "oh that's so cool."

me: "and they're growing so fast too!!" :)

A: "this is awesome. when the plants are grown, we can eat them. methi paratha, methi alu..." < dreamy voice as the list continues >

me: :O
< frozen in horror > "you're gonna k...k...kill...EAT my plant??"

A: "ofcuorse, what use is it otherwise?? it's gonna die sooon anyways!"

me: "wat?? WAAAT?? no its not!! plant is NOT gonna die if i can help it. it'll live forever!! ok k let me calm down. it might die, but it will die of only natural causes. it WILL live its normal cycle of life..."

A: "pfft. haha you are funny. what will you grow it to a tree??"

me: >_<
"WATEVER!! your not allowed within 10 feet of my plant. you.. you... TREE KILLER!!" < hunched protectively over the pot and scowling fiercely at A with sputtering indignation. >

A: "ha! i'll just take it when ur not around. one day you'll come back from office and you'll..."

me: "aaaaaaargh i can't bear this!! don't say anything. it might hear you!"

A: "but YOU are a vegetarian. you eat plants all the time!"

me: ".... ok mebe i shud just stop eating and live on air. why can't ppl live on air" < in despair > "maybe i'm a secret Jain or something"

A: ...

me: "ok whatever the thing. this plant is now my baby. and no one touches it to EAT IT! come ON man, plants have FEELINGS too you know!!! how can you bear to EAT this plant??? look how cute it is..." :O < voice reduced to pleading tone as i try to change her mind >
"LOOK , just LOOK at it! this is LIFE. it is trying to survive. growing. from nothing but seeds. this is .. this is... LIFE!!! i have helped something to LIVE!!"

A: "you're wierd"

< fading voice as i walk away >

exit scene - 1 nutcase.

Monday, May 11, 2009

mAke iT to Go

try reading alternate news for a change

Wierd stuff


A: what are u planning to do for 4th of july?
me: hmmm, well i'm not sure. what are u planning to do.
A: lets go somewhere!!
me: sure. how about alaska. we can do the cruise!!
A: i don't like cold places
me: ohhh ok how about montana? heard its got some awesome country.
A: oh no i'm tired of nature places.
me: ohhh how about austin or grand canyon?? that's also on my list.
A: it'll be too hot!!
me: okaaaay. how about michigan. i saw pics of this place, and its insanely wicked looking.
A: too far. for just a 3 day weekend...
me: hmm. ok well i always wanted to go drive along the coast and book myself into a B&B and just relax?
A: oh that's not a 3 day weekend. its something to do on a regular weekend.
me: uhhhhh. alrite then a friend of mine has invited me to go caving with her. we'll go explore caves.
A: OMG i can never EVER do that. i hate reptiles.
me: well we can always go to las vegas?
A: naah too hot. and crowded. don't feel like doing vegas. i want to do something different.

me: .....
me: ok let me get this straight. no nature, nothing too hot, nothing too cold, nothing too far, nothing too near. no reptiles or animals of any kind... no canada, no mexico.
A: yeah. i wish i could go to south america!! that wud be awesome.
me: ....


A: heyy wanna come with me. i want to buy some plants.
me: but u got plants last summer and then during winter u left them to shrivel up and die outside on the porch...
A: yup.
me: ....?? but then ur going to get more plants again this summer and what happens to them in winter??
A: they don't survive in winter.
me: ... :O waaaaaaat. i don't want to get plants when i know they'll die!!! :O that's horrible!!
A: but i don't get flowers. i like only useful plants. like vegetables, and herbs.
me: ....... ??!!?? [ USEFUL PLANTS??? that implies the existence of useLESS plants!!! i think while i stare aghast, speechless in horror ]

ok ok. so i did promise not to badmouth anyone. and k ok i admit it. i can be annoying as hell too. i mean, sure.
but i mean....

Saturday, May 9, 2009

nEw diRecTioNs

so mebe i'm turning over to the dark side :P

oh cheer up. its not that bad !

just shush.and listen. this song is goooooood ^_^

note to self ayan, sometihng tamil movie, honey honey

Friday, May 8, 2009

enD of YeAr pROgreSs

OMG you will NOT believe this.


i can already feel the dark clouds of gloom parting :D

guess what ???

S has listed me in the acknowledgments section of his project report :P


oh come on. i've never been acknowledged to have any kind of functioning grey matter before. atleast as far as i can remember no one acknowledges that i have any grey matter more than an ameoba kind of. infact i know some who would bet on the amoeba.

oh go on. i feel all important and stuff. and warm on the inside :D
come ye to me with all your questions.. i shall dispell all your doubts. oh u huddled masses :D [ thank god its not going to my head. imagine how difficult to live with i'd be.... ;P ]

sPonSorS oF tomOrRoW ?

have you seen this?? are you kidding me??

this is HILLARIOUS!!

and trust me, that apparently is the message of the ad..
ooh see the part where he winks?? :D hehehe

oooh u shud also read the get fuzzy comics at
hmm i don't know.. i always find them soooo funny :P

tRansLatiOn erRorS

its a nice song. and i found it after a long time.

its awesome weather outside and we're stuck inside the 4 walls of the cubicle. man i am SO ready to retire :P

mebe the one eyed bunny is right, we shud all just quit and grow our own food :D

ok so did u see the latest episode of house?? freaky!
and lie to me? ok i'm watching too much tv.

so i go home yest and there's some really random madhavan movie going on. blech!! :P
sorry, i can't stand T movies. heyy i say if your gonna watch those god awful movies then u shudn't be blaring it on surround sound and inflicting torture on your roomates. u shud go into YOUR ROOM. also if ur on the phone and i'm watching television, don't come sit right next to me to talk loudly and go on and on...
man. get a ROOM. i can't carry a 3 ton tv inside my room. obviously the law of the sea applies here... the more maneuverable object gives way to the immovable.

ok ok. i need to relax. well one thing's good though. the horrid movie [ hey trust me it was bad, there was a pregnant lady and court and everything and madhavan looked like a scruffy ruffian in that movie. am sure it was one of his roles.. ]
atleast the movie drove me out of the house. since it was really nice weather, i could go for a run, ok walk and went to R's house. and then we had company over. and you know what that means... yaaay someone cleaned the house up. all nice and spiffy.

well kinda.
the best i can hope for. but guess what?? this gal knows kannada :O
and she can make idlis!!

ok now meet S my new best friend

u know which part of the song i like best?? where she says
'yeh jo aisas hai jo karar hai
kya isi ka hi naam pyaar hai?'
that part, the melody is niiiice... gives me lil chills along the spine.

something bout patterns, brain waves, and us recognizing it.

this is an awesome time to do all the boring stuff i've been putting off forever. with no sleep and no eating, i have plenty of time on my hands... i shud TOTALLY re-arrange all the stuff that needs to be re-organized. including probably my life :P

Thursday, May 7, 2009

hArD tO saY

if your a travel aficionado.

A is just back from hawaii.. niiiice!!
i'll post some pics some time. she takes pics after my own heart.. i mean hardly of any pesky humans :P
mostly skies and sceneries...

had a meeting where my manager just threw me off the deep end. did i mention i tend to do the deer caught in headlights very well , when startled??

on another note. naah the other note is not for you. not today. lets just say... naah. thats not for you either.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

iDes oF aPriL

just when i thought i was running out of stuff to say ....

this is what i find in my Intel inbox today :D

You probably don’t see a subject line like that everyday... I am looking for a horse to ride in a wedding procession. I prefer the horse be white (or mostly white) and female. Does anyone know where I can get one? Or does anyone have a horse they would let me use? Of course I’d need the owner to be there to walk the horse through the procession. I am willing to pay a reasonable price. I need the horse on the morning of Sat July 4. If you know of a horse but it’s not female or not completely white, please contact me and we might be able to still work things out. Thanks.



jeez man. are you .. ahem. ok never mind. but still....

well so i know i know i've been kind of neglecting you.. and there's plenty i have to tell you about.. like how about all the stuff i bought yest, and the cabinets i assembled and managed to hit myself on the thumb with a hammer. and 2 of the nails kind of angled and broke the plywood. but its not a complete disaster. it looks ok from the outside.
and how about that we went to K's house for dinner since his parents were here. and yummy indian food.

and how about i had this really interesting conversation with this teacher in the school i go to on saturdays. now apparently he stayed for a whole year on the mountains with no electricity and water !!! can u imagine that!! just for the experience. now most of you wud ask, wats the point of that? and if ur indian, i'll bet my grandma's teeth that you won't 'get it' at all...
i mean we really are too practical sometimes..
'wat did he get from that?' yes yes i know. ye of little imagination, that's what you're wondering.

never u mind. if you don't get it, there isn't any point explaining.

so then, hmmm nothing else.. waiting for that camping trip. up in utah :P
ooooh ooooooh i need to upload some pics. of that tulip festival we went to.
ok i can do that now.

gimme a sec
ok now bear with me. there are too many...

phew take a breather

that's my roomie's bf and he got a bike !! yaay!!