Tuesday, December 23, 2008

qUesTioNs tO aSK

oh you want me to vent about this marriage crap? i'll give you venting.

and this isn't even about me. these are things i've heard propsective grooms tell my friends...

-"you don't look the same as you did in the snaps" [ well 'honey' ur not looking so hot either, but notice how polite I AM and not barfing on your shoes?? ]

-"have you gained weight since you sent me the snap?" [ let me at him A, just ONE good shot... FYI A is cute as hell, you A***hole as compared to you who looks like something the cat barfed up yesterday ]

-"can you send a full length snap" [ can you send me your recent bank statement ]

-"can you send a snap of your daughter wearing a sari?" [ sure why don't you hold your breath and wait. i'll get right back to you ]

-"you'll have to go to India coz my parents want to meet you. but I don't have time, so your parents will see me only on the engagement day" [ ever notice how absolutely necessary it is for the parents to see the girl and not the guy ?? i've seen 3 cases of this so far and i can only say NO COMMENTS ]

-"i'll marry you, but you have to lose weight" [ i'll marry you but u have to deposit 2 mill first ]. [ NO comments coz she did, and they got married and they're very happy except she kind of put all that back on after the wedding... i think... ]

you know what I'M waiting for?? the first day, when he wakes up all bleary eyed and sees his wife as she just gets outa bed. you know with the rats nest hair and the dried up drool and the puffed up eyes and stumbling around like the walking dead. what? you thought your girlfriend fell out of the bed looking so hot??? do you EVEN KNOW about the hours of makeup it took to look good?? my bet is if guys could ever see females as soon as they got up in the morning.... there wouldn't be so many marriages taking place...

let me give you a really good tip subject A. shut the heck up and go procreate with yourself.

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