Monday, December 29, 2008

aDviCe tO siNk YoU

so many of my friends ask the same question. [ no they don't ask me. no one is crazy enough to ask me anything.. ] but they're all wondering... the nuances of relationships and why its so hard to find someone. mebe thats coz they have like half a dozen broken relationships behind them. they like to term it as 'experience' every time i ask them "dude, wat the heck are you doing out there. this is the third girl this year"

but seriously. wat IS going on. every year i have to remember a new name. its kind of taxing my brain.
so one of them thinks mebe its over communication thats the problem. another thinks its too much expectations, and yet another thinks that the whole world is a lil bit against her. actually very few ppl i'm friends with have had successful awesome romances... [ well they are MY friends, so its kinda obvious they're a lil bit screwed up?? ]

but heyy what do I KNOW?? :P absolutely nothing. but as my cousin says, i'm actually a really truly neutral party. i feel, i can see the whole thing from the outside. no no i honestly don't say its the guys fault or the girls fault. but i know somethings wrong. when really wonderful ppl who are wonderful together break up over a reason i don't get but i can understand [ i mean, understand how they got there... ]

R.cali complains that all she wants is someone who is perfectly compatible [ meaning one who thinks exactly like her? ] with her.. and i try my best to explain there is no such thing. i mean she wants a guy.right? he's a guy. she's a girl. how can they ever be exactly perfectly SAME?? wudn't there be friction?? some differences?? wudnt THAT be wat made it interesting?? and besides they'd be products of different environments, so OBV there'd be SOME differences. NO WAYS, you can find a carbon copy of urself or someone who fits perfectly into u. [ oh mebe u do. mebe the soul-mate thing actually exists. wat do i know? ]. but as far as i'm concerned if the guy isn't diff on many levels you might as well get hitched to another girl :D [ i mean come on ppl...stop nitpicking already ]

nyhoooo so i was just thinking on why so many find it SO HARD >_< to stick to someone.. and i know some things.

1. long gestation periods for relationships have a very low chance of success. just gives you more time to find fault with ppl. the wierder you are? the quicker u shud make sure the other person has no venues of escape. put the ring on the finger and bind them to u for life. just thank god u found someone who didn't run screaming after 5 min in your company.

2. its human nature to take things for granted. after 2 yrs into a relationship, does he still make you laugh, is she still into ur interests. are you a part of each other's daily life? no? well then ur gonna just drift apart. [ like australia broke off from the mainland ]

3. everyone knows that long distance is twice as hard. its also the best test of so called true love. heyy remember 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' can also become 'out of sight, out of mind'. MY take on this is just get married and go together already. if ur ever in doubt that you really love him/her, just don't talk to them for 21 days. [ coz we all know that's how long it takes for a neuron-link to be formed in your brain ]

4. if u don't have laughter. u got nothing. if u don't have time for each other you got nothing. if you don't have a 100% commitment on either side, you got nothing.

5. stop having such weird and unreasonable expectations? [ i am really talking half asleep right now... ] i mean EVERY single friend of mine who is currently looking, thinks they're too good for all the people they have met. i mean, its crazy. but everyone thinks they deserve better. [ :O ha!! how can EVERYBODY be right? its not logically sound ]

ok ok i admit. i understand NOTHING. as far as i get it, love is nothing but a chemical reaction in the brain triggered by the specific chemical signature of the person. in the long run, love becomes a emotional attachment which is formed by proximity and common goals,interests etc, but i think that emotional attachment can be formed with anything. even my pet plant or a cat. so the only thing that matters is the literal chemistry. i'd say, meet the person. if ur not repelled, just say ok and get on with it will you? [ as long as the person is normal and not psycho. find that out first. ]

well i mean i know i have a half baked idea on the whole thing. this whole only theoeretical knowledge is mostly screwing the equation. but is it wrong for me to say excepting psychos, any two who are chemically compatible shud be able to make a relationship work ?

ps: oh btw that chemical signature is caused by the combination of antibodies and our immune system. so from an evolutionary perspective, ppl with compatible and complementary immune systems are attracted to each other, so that their offspring can have a more complete, balanced immune system.
[ omg THIS IS wat I think love is?? no wonder i'm still single! ] :-/ < grimace >

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