Thursday, October 28, 2010

aDviCe oN tHE inTErNeT



just a dream, Nelly

the other day i was searching some old forums .. for shucks i dunno.. something and then i happened on someone describing this brand new thing. buy a tiny "webcam" and hook it up to your computer and then u can actually see the person ur chatting with using this new brand new s/w like yahoo chat!!
ok thats when i checked the date, and saw it was 2002.


ha!
well that explains it. poor fools who didn't know how far the world would come in just a decade. but wait .. weren't we some of those poor fools? and wait didn't ppl in every decade say it of their predecessors?
still its pretty ridiculous to read those old posts.

then i was looking at some other posts and came upon this religious lady's site.. wait let me try to remember it...
had some junk about .. oh ya. she was advising this other dame, that she shouldn't get a job even though her husband lost his job and things were getting tough at home. "oh no! don't get a job dearie, u'd hurt ur husband's self esteem. it's his job to provide for the family and u getting a job might suggest that u think he's not upto snuff. < so what if ur kids don't have ice cream o sunday? > a good wife knows how to make do with less and the only way u shud help him is to provide a better life at home with the meager things you have around < like home grown cabbage and potatoes?? >. and that's the best you can support your husband through these trying times. by being kind and doing ur job !! < that is taking care of the house.. > and the good lord will take care of you. the end."

oh good lord! i swear i cudn't make this stuff up. this is exactly what was written on the site. i still have a bitter taste in my mouth from throwing up after reading that.... pile of cow.. no wait horse dung. < ok that's the kindest thing i can say >.

i swear i think i found the place where stupid came to die.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

aLL CAPS dAmmiT

recently i had to make a presentation to my boss.
did i tell u this story already? perhaps i did ...

so you know, me trying to be clever made this clever presentation where i had the title of each slide was in all small letters. and kind of started with a small letter.
now I THOUGHT it looked cool, ok?

but my boss takes one look at it, gives me this wierd look and says, yeah the presentation is fine, but pls make all the title start with CAPS. and now i'm grimacing coz how do i tell him, dude u need to be buried before we can bring back cool. but then he reads my face < i have been told my face gives my thoughts away awfully easily > and then says , yes i know you kids think its very casual and cool nowadays , but it won't work here. we are professionals. we need to make professional slides.

$%@#!! oh ya? i don't see what CAPS has anything to do with professional.
uh uh but i DO NOT.

today he mails me his leadership feedback form. muahahahahahahaha.... < very resident evil laughter fading into the background >

tReaSuRe huNt & oThErS

its unbelievably hard to find a song when you don't know the singer, the lyrics, the album, the title...
ultimately the only way is to comb through the billboard charts and listen to the top 100 songs one song at a time ... not a bad way to pass time though :P



note to self : OneRepublic - secrets

:D

*******************************

spoke to A the other day. her wedding's fixed!! well then congrats A!! ofcourse A's a lil ahead of the times and i can just imagine everyone in the remote town of Trichi when she walks in wearing a houte couture designer gown.. a really slinky one and then i can imaging some poor grandma with her eyes almost popping out of her sockets at the audacity. hehehehehehe < semi-evil laughter > :D
good fun! shocking the establishment. i say u go for it A. and if possible carry a tiny live webcam so that the rest of us can roll of the sofa laughing our heads off.

*******************************

now, as you all might know, a close friend has been taken hostage by a tiny lil alien living inside her and the day when its gonna rip her < ouch > and get out is getting closer and closer. as you know, i am terrified of these tiny delicate looking creatures who have the power to bring fully grown adults to the edge of sanity. but i am steeling myself to the possibility of looking the tiny alien in the eye and not running; screaming like a lil girl < puh-lease lil girls have nothing on me, when i encounter the strange mystic aliens >

another colleague is considering voluntarily giving up her job so she can move to NY next yr and host another one of these < how many more will you take darn it! > and that's truly sad, coz she's my only lunch buddy right now. and if she goes away to gah! > be an incubation machine, then who will i have lunch with ? < hey... come ON!! look at the big picture !! >

:D

********************************

god knows where my head is at, nowadays. i right slept through a 7 AM meeting. infact i had this really wierd dream, where i had gone into a shoe shop and another senior lady colleague was there trying to buy boots and i thought to myself "aaha! my nemesis. i too should buy a shoe to defeat her" and then next thing i know its 7:44 and i wake up to open my laptop < yes i open my laptop as soon as i can open my eyelids every morning > and then i am kindly informed by my helpful outlook i am 44 minutes overdue to a meeting. < gaaaaaaaaaaah! darn you my arch nemesis. ur the reason i was late!! trying to outdo ur shoe selection!! >

i demand satisfaction madam.

ok calm down and listen to this song instead



note to self: OneRepublic - apologize

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

sAYiNg iT tHe riGHt wAY

OOOOOOOOOOOooops

i really shud back off a bit.

u know the last post, i was raving a bit ? mostly becoz i was having a really bad day at the office??

well my.. ahem friend caught be red handed or u cud say red-lettered.
yeah !! oops!! u cud say THAT again!!

now while he was gracious enough to laugh it off.. umm haha... others who have caught me red-lettered might not find it so funny.

well... i shud really start getting more and more vague-r if i plan to take 'inspiration' from life.

well.. ahem... i'm sorry... errr...

anyhooooo
now on another note, u know how sometimes in life ur forced to deal with the government? like the post office or the driving license folks. and u wish you could rather poke urself in the eye with a fork than deal with those guys. coz really if someone was the living definition of moronic or dodoish then it wud be the beurocracy guys. ok so the DMV in this country is marginally better than the post office, but boy do the PO guys take the cake.
trust me, if u try to get them on the phone, u can't even call ur local PO! u get routed to some random HQ where they ask u for ur zipcode and tell u they cant find the PO next to ur house.
yup.. enough to make u want to pull ur hair out.

sigh.

feeling a it restless tonight. must be the meds.
tell me one thing, how many females in ur office who have .. say 10+ yrs of experience and aren't ... wierd.
ok just say how many are normal and competent.
then think of the rest. i swear my group has only preggers who look like their going crazy coz of the hormones, young females including me < hey i'm young... sort of > who run around like chickens with their heads cut off and then the small elite group of older females who are insane. i mean literally insane.
a couple i suspect are just menopausal but the moment i mentioned that to my colleague, all she said was "eeeew what's wrong with you" to which i replied, "what, its a normal human thing. i really think J's menopausal u know. there can be no other explanation for her behavior."

much as i'd like not to perpetuate negative stereotypes, sometimes it just can't be helped... this female P.. she's crazy man.
the other day she pings me out of the blue and asks me
P: "hey, is the camera working on ur board"
me: "ummm YA?? " < come ON lady its been working for a yr and u've seen it. you CANNOT be serious. >

i mean really?? how would u like it if i came to u and asked u, hey is gcc working.
ugly man. office politics is just plain ugly. luckily i'm not caught up with it. but then turf wars, and ppl blaming the tools for random measurements, taking credit for other ppl's work and just plain ol nastiness... i miss the dolphins. they're highly more civilized.

lot of thrash in the office. as u can see from the sparsity of the posts.. just too much thrash in the office.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

hoW tO spELL tMi

you know how on ur chat list, sometimes you have people you kind of know, but don't really know.. i mean, you've spoken to them a couple of times and yet they're vague aquaintances at best bound to you by some random commonality like college classmate or high school classmate or something.

and i know with me atleast its a daily ritual to open my laptop and login to gmail and look at the gmail chat list and then get on with work.
ok these ppl are in today. these are not. its not like i'd chat with 20 ppl on my list everyday, but its like a virtual.... coffeehouse?? and ur just strangely comforted by the thought, that these ppl are accessible within nanoseconds incase a serial killer crept up behind you and tried to strangle you.
"heeeelp, call 911. i'm being stranmgled"

but then all such warm thoughts vanish when u spy this said vague aquaintance with a seemingly incongrous status message but makes u so uncomfortable , that u want to barf.
"i never knew how to pray, until i learnt how to love"

what? i mean here i am mentally strolling through my daily ritual and this brings everything to a screeching halt. before it starts again. just the momentary stall is enough to irk me.
dude what??
i get funny status messages. i LIKE funny. but i don't do ... ugh sends a shiver down my spine...

Saturday, October 16, 2010

rEaL LivE chiCkEn

watching some corny movie right now, but the music is pretty good.

anyhoo...have u ever noticed, how deathly afraid we are of making choices. personally i hate making choices, even of what kind of soap or cereal i buy. always imagining me making the worst possible choice and that moment cascading to a minor disaster of nuclear proportions leading to the end of the universe as we know it.

trust me, every little choice i have to make, black or blue, pink or green, buy dress or not, leads to long internal debates carefully weighing the pros and cons till all possible outcomes of the choices are debated and deemed safe for the future of the world, and then i feel i can commit to something.
that's why most times i feel infinitely better if someone else makes the choice for me, or if i dither long enough the universe finally gets fed up of waiting and says, "hey! i'll take care of this one, u get the next."

but i think everyone is a little afraid of making the wrong choice. what if this was the decision that ended up as the turning point in ur life, and everything went downhill after that and then u ended up homeless, living out of a box?
sounds ridiculous doesn't it?? but let me ask you, how many times have u decided you'd rather stay where you are at a deadlock, simply spinning in one spot than go left or right down the path to wherever u cud be heading?

how many times do we chicken out and say no, when we're too afraid of taking the risk to say yes? or vice versa...
how many times would we rather maintain the status quo than ... than take a leap of faith and just go for it.

ugh! too serious a topic for saturday night isn't it?



note to self: song title, love the way u lie