Friday, April 20, 2007

tiS a sHaME

I couldn't find anything more appropriate. Ofcourse the song doesn't apply per se.
But, this is a song to say Goodbye and never fails to make me think of the transitory nature of life.

GoodBye Minal Panchal.
I didnt know you, but I can imagine your life. Your hopes and dreams. with what excitement you would have come to the US. Sure that an MS would help you get on a little better in this world. Sure that life would hold many surprises and adventures. Sure that your whole life was ahead of you.
You would never have thought that the journey would be so short. I hope you don't have major regrets. I hope you danced.... and loved.... and traveled... and told your parents that you loved them.

Were you happy ? Or were you like the rest of us , too busy planning for the future and waiting for something to happen, to start being happy. Oh you know what I mean. All of us think we'll be happy , if we get something or we complete a phase.
I'll be happy once I get my degree, once I get married once I get a job, once I....
The list never seems to end does it ?

How does one deal with this kind of senseless tragedy ? None of those who died, deserved to die. We couldn't say, oh he was a drug addict, its ok he dies, or she was too old anyways... or watever. there is just no way you can look at it rationally and explain to yourself that there was some meaning to it.

Well this song is dedicated to you Minal. I may find it too creepy to leave you a message on Orkut, but this is my two-bits in wishing you a peaceful rest. May you have been happy till the end. May the end have been quick. If there's such a thing as heaven , may you be happy there.

And may the rest of us learn a lil bit that life is too short to spend, not being happy, coz you never know when its your turn to spin the wheel.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

i waNnA gO hOmE

not sure if I already posted this , but this deserves another shot ...

i think i drove a few ppl insane by continuously humming this song, day and night

this song is amazing !! and being away from home .. tears welll up in my eyes everytime i listen to it .. well almost.. errr, ok some.. ok ok ! awright. i don't tear up .. so sue me i got dry tear ducts... just listen to the song awright ??

have to thank my friend for giving me this song. someday i even might ...

hOw mANy liNEs oF cOde ?

I tried really hard u know,
to get away from it.

oh u know what I'm talking bout ... coding.
as far as i can remember , i tried to get away from coding jobs...
java , C++, C, Perl... all nightmares that I'd avoid like the plague ...

and then i had to come for my MS didnt I?
I had to pick some course didn't I ? I had to pick IMAGE PROCESSING didn't I ??

now its a joke. All i gotta do i code. that too can't give some dumb code.. i gotta write optimal code coz images take up a lot of memory and stuff ..
groan ....

imagine , i got a 4 GB RAM , the latest in Matlab, VC++ at my disposal and I can't get away from writing code in Assembly level style :P

every line of my code is mapped out to how my brain thinks of the problem
every step , theres a for loop or an if...
and god when i come to then end i feel like inserting a GOTO statement !!

:) u rem those?? those amazingly simple operators that directed ur code where u had to go ...
man i miss assembly level languages ... and i miss math. thats all i wanted to do in the first place ... and now it looks like am stuck in this domain forever !

donno how i got sucked into this web of mallocs and hbitmaps and stuff :-/

wud give anything for a PIC and a req to make it do something !! :P
perhaps I am a lil retarded .. i wonder how one tests such things??

Sunday, April 8, 2007

hEar thE rOar wiTHin

Right next to my school, and quite amazing that my friend's hands were so steady when taking the shot considering we were standing out in the middle of a snowstorm !
I dont know whats with the weather , it was so warm last week , ppl walking around in shorts , tank tops, micro minis. i dont think i saw bikinis, but yes, i did see a lot of skin as ppl enjoyed the sun :)
and now? now its bitter winds and snow and rain .. boo hoo ...
oh well the only gud part of all this is it can't last long.

came home at 5 yest, well more like today morning.. no i was not out partying < like my friends back home like to think i'm doing>. no i was studying and let me tell u it was torture to be awake after 3 AM.
all i wanted was to g back to my warm bed and my quilt.

yaawn, am still sleepy... and lazy to add. damn i got so much to do ...

Saturday, April 7, 2007

tHE nAmeSaKE

I saw a movie today. yes you guessed it right , it was the namesake. very gud !
Anyways, it was splitting hillarious in some parts. but i don't think anyone else got the point why it was so funny !.
Most parts seemed like they were talking of my mum back in the late 70's and the rest seemed to be my story ! well i went with this friend of mine, have known him from muscat...
and when the wife cheats on gogol (sorry if u didn't know :P) i kept nudging him with dire warnings not to fall for a typical m'lore female !! lol

it was a gud break that i needed ...

the above pic u see is the stupid monument of my school. i have heard that every school has one of these. stupid moments I mean. supposed to show that the sky is the limit and I think thats gr8, perfectly in line with my own philosophy. atleast the latest one I had, which was .... hmm ok, what was it again ??

it got cold again today, stupid weather. seems to be playing guess with us, everyday is a new season , literally :-/
can i go home now? atleast the weather is not trying to fuck me up out there...

Friday, April 6, 2007

sTaRt aNotHEreR rEliGioN

Imagine u were born a pretty normal jew. Ur a shepherd. U don’t like to fight ppl. U spend all ur time around sheep. Who r u gonna fight ? ur leading a pretty normal life. Then one day u see ur priest doing something nasty. U don’t like it. Well, ur a normal guy , but ur bred in a desert and ur hard. So u raise ur voice against the perversion. U believe ur right. And u condemn the powerfull. Now u’ve done it. U’ve made them angry. But ur also stubborn and u believe ur right. U hate violence, but u wish ur ppl were free. U hate the life , that they make u lead. U know god is good and kind and wish everyone would just learn to live happily. But they hate u. their secretly jealous and angry and hateful.
So they do what they always do , to ppl who stand in their way. They put u on the cross.
U know that ur frends will revolt and get a lot of ppl killed. So u beg them to forgive the priests and everyone to resolve this through peaceful means. Peace is the only way. Love is the only way. U know it, coz u hate fighting.
Three thousand years later , ur the son of god and the father of one of the biggest religion.
Because u were a man , who believed in love.
And therein lies the secret of christinaity. Of religion. Of faith , and of life

aNd i'M hOokED

well.. there's a first time for everything , right ?

i think thats pretty much the same thing i said when i ran out of gas 2 km from the nearest gas station and ended up pushing my scooterette ... its not what u wud call heavy , but hey , i'm an overweight , sedentary creature who eats potato chips for dinner ... So u can imagine , there i was a lot of huffing and puffing and pushing my kinetic and the thought just pops into my head...
well there's a first time for everything ...

if u hate smileys ... its better u logout ..and logout now thing ur gonna see in plenty on this page is smileys and ellipses. thats what "..." these are called right ?
so if u hate them. bye bye and don't drink too much.

the rest who are reasonably tolerant and not afraid of turning brain dead can login tomorrow.
oh by the way i have a question. does this blog thingy have to be maintained everyday ??
boy , that requires some amount of discipline ...
uh oh .. the only time i display discipline is when i know i'm getting potato chips. like leaving the office before 9, so that i can buy potato chips b4 the shops close or like taking a bath on sunday , so i can go out and buy potatto chips. u may say u don't need to take a bath for that .. but trust me , u don't want me in public without a bath. just trust me on this one.

well lets see bout the daily thingy, sometimes i might post 2 one after the other , thats if i'm really hyper after drinking coffee or something else ..

hey wait a minute .. i did start a blog sometime back .... oh damn i can't remember where or when or wat i wrote ...
this is another thing u can expect to see a lot of. me forgetting stuff.
so if ur interested in a fat , amnesiac , potato chips eating , genius ( i figure i gotta throw something good as part of my marketing strategy- ya right, what strategy?) who types too fast to spell all words correctly and who sometimes gives the impression of 3 ppl talking to each other (slightly MPD kind of ..) then u have to drop by again. u just have to man, u just have to
chal thats enuf of $%#&@& for today i guess

sHeeTH's hAS leFt tHE bUilDiNG

its finally happened.

she cracked.

while onlookers were aghast .. and went pale with fear ..she stood up, started screamin , ran through the entire floor , right up to the 7th floor and went crashing out the window.
poor ,dear sheeths is no more. her name meant gr8 wisdom and valour. also gr8 humility , u know...but she couldn't take it anymore. me ? i'm the essence of her madness. u know , like a bad smell that takes time to dissipate.. i'm like that. since her madness was so strong, i'll be around for a while b4 i fade away too.

so how r u guys ? bored ? want me to come and infect ur spirit with a bit of madness ?
why am i around ? good question. before she started screaming.. and as soon as she got up from her seat, she turned looked straight at me , pointed her fat finger and intoned - u must write the farewell letter and let them know what happened.

so am doin that.. what are u fat pigs doin ? that's the best farewell i can come up with.
also her mid-term is going on. i want to kick her homework in the arse. before she started screaming.. and as soon as she got up from her seat, she turned looked straight at me , pointed her fat finger and intoned - u must kick my homework in the arse.oh , did i already use that ?? oh , I cannot kick a homework , eh ?
wat? u expect me to make sense ?? didn't u hear me say i was the essence of madness ??? u shud pay more attention.

hey, wait there goes the fat b**tard homework. i gotta go kick him...


i may write again. for some vague reason, she seemed to have liked u guys. i feel its my job to carry on with her noble work of slowly chewing ur brains. since i knew her best in all the yrs, i know she wud have wanted that.

eNgiNEer'S aT tHE hELm

One of the funniest things you will ever see , is a bunch of techies in a Management or a Strategy course.
What typically happens ? is a whole lot of what I call Homer Simpson moments ....

Prof : So when we consider the real options versus the discounted cash flows , its pretty clear what R&D capabilities the company must invest in to maximize the return rate versus the risk.
Me : It is ?
Prof : So, analyzing the numbers given at the end of the case, what do you think the Strategy of the company should be ?
Class : Eh what ?

Prof : If you were the CEO of X , what would you do ?
Me : Cash in my stock options and retire ?

you get the idea ....
every class , week after week ... btw its the only early class I got<9:30 ppl !!> .. I go there stare blankly at the unfeeling smart board. and try to figure out ....what's going on in my life.
Invariably after about an hour of listening to the lecture , my mind starts to wander (so what else is knew) and I start thinking "How the F*** did I land here ?" , "Where am I headed" , "What the heck is going on in my life ??".

As we discuss the profitability , return to sales , risk on investment ,etc, etc , I can only focus on one other thing.
What I'm gonna have for lunch.

Am in class now, and it has not made one iota of difference that instead of listening to the Prof, I spent the last half hour writing this blog.

Prof : Can you describe the prevelant situation in the global microwave industry with respect to market segmentation and technology.
Me : I cannot , but I do not have lower self-esteem bcoz of this. So what if I don't know anything bout what's going on ? I condemn this pursuit of useless knowledge, what is really important in life is the REAL world outside. The birds, the flowers.... < have been thrown out of class >

Thursday, April 5, 2007

pURe aS tHE dRiVEn sLUsh

SO I thought , hey when it snows , the only thing I can do that costs nothing and does not take a whole day , is try and build a snowman.
ofcourse , snow is like the frost in your freezer. very hard to hold onto , even with 2 gloves. next to impossible to pack .. its very mich like sand.. thats mildly wet.
mebe shud ahve made a snow castle :P

so wat started of as a snowman , became a snow dog ..
my roomie was waaaaaaaay clever, she made a 2 inch high snowman , zooomed in and took a photograph, ergo the illusion she's built a 2 foot high creature.

what i'd have really liked , is to make one like Calvin, u know, the one without a head, or the one holding a machet, or ... man cud go on forever.
Calvin's abilities in thinking of snowmen , and making the most grotesque one's are legendary !!

well anyways for what it's worth , i did make a snow dog. and it was kind of cute in the end !!

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

aLL iN a dAYs wOrk

This is not a normal blog for me.. its not another random rant ..

this happened yesterday and it was so funny I had to put it down !
Till date , I have spent half my life explaining my actions to people who were only too trigger happy. Hey , apparently am jobless, go ahead take pot shots at me :-/

So the conversation goes something like this -

other : so am talking bout X
me : huh ? X ? wat bout X ?
other : whats going on b/w u and X.
me: huh ? nothing. why wud u even ask that ????

other: don't lie !! i know u have feelings.
me : wat ?? wat rot, me have feelings ?? i know him from 7 years.. we are gud friends. infact wasn't i the one who introduced you to him ?
other : yes , but u have been jumpy every time u mention X. why r u acting so wierd?
me: am I?? never realized , i assure its not coz i have any hidden feelings..
its the single most stupid thing i have heard ..
other: then why did u lie ??
me : when ?? wat r u talking bout ?
other : u know ... blah blah ..
me : that was the truth when i said it !! it was ages ago !! like even a yr before u guys met !!
other : u ruined my life
me : waaaaaaaaat ????? whyyy ?? wat the fuck is happening here??
other : am not childish , infact ur not worth my time. gud bye.

well that was the jist anyways ... it was more protracted , painful and confusing. driven by panic ..after a while i had no clue what I was talking .. my head was spinning and was feeling acutely sorry for the girl.
But looking back it was hillarious. a strange sense of deja vu, as history repeated itself.

like i said, a screwed up week and god, i hope i don't have to see more of this !!
god bless other , X and the whole battalion.

right now , all u gals can safely rest assured that am NOT in love with your boyfriends !!

Monday, April 2, 2007

sUn iN mY wiNdOW

This is what I get up and see everyday. I'm thankful I'm on the 9th floor, I dont think I could make it if I couldn't see the sky from my window ...
Wud give anything for a small balcony , but then .. its still ok.

Every day the view is different , and the church spire is quite amazing !

This place is gonna turn into a photo blog .. soon , as soon as I can get hold of a couple of batteries :P

Sunday, April 1, 2007


They say we should write bout things we know best and have gone through.

well then the time is perfect to write bout something I have been going through from last Nov, no wait the November before that even ...

No .. am not going to describe my rash ... Infact I'll have you know I do NOT have a rash, but i digress ..

Imagine the most embarrassing experience you had. now multiply that by the worst sinking feeling you had at the pit of your stomach when you know that NO good can come of the events in the next couple of hours ... now i think you will know how i felt when I .. (even thinking of it makes me choke)
when I had to go get m picture taken.

That's not so bad ? Oh but you see , this was different. This was a picture to be distributed like a , like a lame pamphlet advertising a new cyber cafe or something .. this was m marriage prospectus photo !! (for lack of a better descriptive term)

yes , ur right , u can imagine , i put up a fight all right. hey, think bout it, it was the single most assinine thing. ever.
oh there was a fight. which i lost, coz suddenly she found some hidden reserve of strength and all my usual tactics failed to garner any sympathy.
so I had to get ready. which i did , very sulkily. and then I had to go with my brother. that was the easy part.

Once in the stupid studio, (was really stupid) we go tell the dude i need a photograph taken. Once it was known that it was a single full length photo, it was pretty much clear to all present , why were all doing this. no chance of pretending i was sending in an application for an australian visa.

So i go in , and then the ass, starts making me pose. Pose !! what am I , a freaking model ?? (yeah right, imagine the horror, imagine the screaming masses)
As time wears on, i get more and more embarrased, my face is flushed , and theres nothing I'd rather do then take the camera and smash it over the dude's head.

I mean, come on ! he's making me raise a hand, act coquetish, smile when on the inside i'm literally gritting my teeth. stand in a nonchalant , unaffected pose and smile charmingly at the camera ... dude , if i knew how to do all that , I'd have a boyfriend by now , u piece of muttonhead *^%$^&* ....

aargh, That had to be the worst day of my life ever, and i swear to all the heavens above , by Jove i won't go through that again. By my word, I won't.