Monday, November 26, 2007

hArd tO sTAy aWaKE

pufff ... uffff

man either i am really outta shape, or I've lost it. i cudnt walk much today... from the bus stand to school. am not that bad usually. i can usually make it to class.

think its the old problem thats come back. i think i'm really sick. no no ! not that way u perverts.
i mean i think i'm ill. one of the worst things is i can't go running home to mommy now. i gotta somehow survive out here..

its not that bad. lot of ppl get sick. no am not trying out for the martyrs awards...
not being brave or anything. ofcourse i am incredibly stupid. never take my pills when i shud. just too forgetful. more imp things in life. like sleeping and gazing up at the ceiling. i need to get out of my room. had enuf of it...

yaaaawn am tired. i need to sleep. bunked classes today. to sleep. 3 more weeks ppl ... 3 more weeks..

Friday, November 23, 2007

bLaCK FriDaY

i went shopping today and the whole mass consumerism ? it drove me nuts !

it was insane ! the place just sucked the energy out of me !! i cudnt believe the ppl running around , buying stuff as if it was paper clips.. no seriously !! u shud have seen the bags.. and am sure half the stuff they wudnt even need.
talking about stuff ppl don't need, you shud meet my roommate. i contend that ppl don't need half the stuff they own. and if you've seen her, you've probably seen it all... now seriously tell me. does anyone really care that i don't have more than 20 shirts and invariably repeat them after 20 days... considering that i go home only once in 3 days now.. i don't think it even matters....
i don't think i need that many clothes or shoes or jackets.. i don't need color coordinated stuff.. pink shoes for pink bags ? and matching earrings to boot ??? jackets in different shades of colors ?? and socks to match ??? who the heck cares !! and is that the only way to make yourself feel better?

having better stuff. applying gunk to our faces. wearing pretty jewelry ....ugh ! granted once in a while i DO like to dress up and feel nice. but thats more of a novelty. i wud rather feel better about myself if i solved complex code. or if i got a 100 in all my assignments .. THAT is more important right now. somehow. if i did a thesis worthy of some research.. that wud be way too cool..

THAT is important...

i have to admit. i caved. completely in a couple of hours. lost my bag. roamed half the mall searching for it... looking very forlorn , coz i had bought this ONE THING and then promptly lost it.found my bag. came home and slept for 5 straight hours. i bought one pair of shoes. woohooo my one victory against shopping :P
yeah yeah i know its pathetic ...
i think i'll go back to the time tested model ... get my mom to shop for me !!!
it can't go wrong.. ofcourse occasionally i do end up with bright purple tank tops ...or fiery green skirts...or shoes that i wudnt be caught dead in...or shirts that i wud rather see burnt, than worn by anyone... ( ok ok i know awright !)

sigh.. i really need to buy my own stuff don't i ? go to a shop and peruse through millions of racks of clothes .. oh curse the variety that exists for females !!! aah well mebe purple IS my color ??? mebe i cud learn to love yellow shirts ???

ugh !

hey my code in 551 now works !!! now i wonder if it wud work better if i moved from the pure eigensubspace to a discriminant subspace. or mebe i shud really try multiclass support vector machines...

ps: happy thanksgiving again folks.. hope u still have ur mind after the mind numbing shopping spree !!!

Thursday, November 22, 2007

sTuDentS oF tOdAY

i like this ...

its kinda creative ...

what is it ???? to be student today ???
i bet ya that cmu is whole lot different.. study only 3 hours a day !! and work only 2 !! thats unheard of out here..
i completely cut my eating times. i eat at my desk when i find food...
i cut my sleeping time. i sleep bout 5 hours a day on average...

i spend atleast 15 hours studying+working+homework+meetings and the rest ofcourse just goes...
1.5 hours chatting on gtalk
3 hours class
0.5 hour email
3 hours on internet
1.5 hr commuting

do the math !!!
i got 29.5 hours in my day !!!

and trust me when i say this.. i dont work as hard as some people do...
now am so starved for time. that i stay back in school and save up on that one hour of commuting...

hApPy pLaCEs

i'm in love

love with a song.

happens once in a while.
i think its the insane need of a human to be in love with something or the other.. i was thinking of all my posts.. naaah i don't have the patience to read them..
i was thinking of that one day when i was enjoying the sun and the skies...

and the blue blue sky and thinking of the song i was in love with.

hey, if ppl can irrationally fall for someone ... i can fall for a song can't i ?
no not the singer. just the song. not even the voice of the song, but the song. its existence in the world proves that beauty can be wrought out of nothing. and as long as ppl continue to cr8 such beauty there is hope yet for mankind :P

ok call me a hopeless romantic. but only in this regard !!! ha ! just coz i believe there is hope yet.
close ur eyes and listen to the song... and imagine ... blue blue skies...
and birds.. blue birds flying lazily across that sky. of white puffy clouds. and then imagine that you cud sing with a voice straight from the heavens and that u sat on a mountain top with a rusty ol' guitar and strummed to ur hearts content...

and there'd be a lake nearby where the sky wud be reflected perfectly ...
oh wait i think i got a picture which resembles this slice of heaven :P

so imagine ur there, u've got a cup of chai... and ur singin this song.

now u know i'm in love.
in love with a song .......

Wednesday, November 21, 2007


perhaps you've heard this song before ... perhaps you've not.

but there's something in this guys voice that moves us..
apparently he's dead and died at a young age.. reminds me of a friend we lost over the summer....

reminds us that there is some beauty in the world after all , and anyone can create it..

god bless ya'll over the hols and be safe...


Tuesday, November 20, 2007

laST stAnD

Its the last couple of days before the sem ends...
last 2 weeks to be exact. don't even know where the days went. i swear it was all a blur..

its time. to take a stand before the approaching enemy .. to stand firm and look at it in the eye and not give an inch...

OR throw your weapons to the ground, hold on to your hat for dear life and run as fast as you can. now is NOT the time for yapping, silly ! get going. run ! before he can get you...

oh well i was born a coward.. i cudnt stand exams.. or final demos..
last night i slept in my lab. looks like i'm moving into the lab....
Prof was right, this is turning into a nightmare.

i don't know how much will get done... and i don't know if its worth my sanity. but am sure glad i dropped that course, though i wish i had taken a mini in the first half... then i cud have afforded to fund myself next semm and wudnt have had a course hanging over my head.....

but thats enuf of whining. i need to make sure my shoes are in order so i can make a dash for it....

wish me luck ppl.. and gud luck to u too.. if uve got something major coming up as well...

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

iNtErviEW bEgOnE

i hate interviews. i don't perform well , as a general rule... I know something , i freeze up. and completely go blank. u know those interviews where they just want you to keep trying till u get somewhere? man those are soooo not for me ...
i keel over and fall apart. and its really a sad sight !! pathetic. a grown woman falling apart.

one of my worst interview questions was "what is a sine wave" and i started dumbly at the female. WAT A DORK !! ofcourse i knew wat a sine wave was. and by all means she was a biology major. perhaps that was her toughest math question. but for the life of me i could not come up with an answer. i just froze completely and to add injury to insult i had travelled miles for that interview. a couppla hundred.

so the saga continues out here. i hate interviews and normally would avoid them like the plague.

hey i can work dammit. with all my modesty , let me tell you that i can work. day and night and my results aint that bad either. i clip on at a decent pace.
but interviews? just had my first telephonic interview and i have to say, some of the questions were really silly if i had done my basic preperation. no no, thankfully i was not asked to explain a sine wave, but i was asked explain how the z transform is mapped graphically to a fourier transform

and i was like .... uuuuuuhhhhh what do you mean?
and obviously he explained and i was like.. man i shud know this stuff.

but then ... if i think about it a bit, its like i'm sabotaging myself at every
mebe i DON't WANT a job. mebe all am doing is pretending to try and keep failing so that i got a legit excuse for not working.. so that i dont feel guilty..

ugh....too..... much... psychology.
brain... overloadin......

ofcourse the pathetic part is , if u really really wanted to get in. its pretty easy to get into half these places.. all u had to do was read a couple of things before the interview to get the brain working. and review some basics...
which ofcourse. am too lazy to do. think i gave about 8 interviews so far. it looks more and more like my undergrad.. the gud thing about mathworks is , they didnt ask me if i had a personal web page. thats the gud thing.
i hate companies that ask me if i have a personal web page...

Monday, November 12, 2007

mY sChOoL


here's something i never knew !!

My dept. ok ok the ece dept of CMU ? is ranked 4th for phd !!!
i mean. think again. WOW we beat MIT.

read it here
College rankings

we came in 4th in the electrical and 8th or so in the computers section.

and we didnt do so bad in other areas also.. 6th in robotics. infact we are the only school that shows up twice in the computers list ??? (but mebe i had myopia :P)

I am sooo proud of my school today !

on another note i think i got some gud news...
i think i got a phd seat in florida. its a small school many ways a complete opposite of cmu.. but then i think i won't lose my sanity there. AND i may not go bald.
now thats surely an incentive !!!


wiERdOs LikE mY fRieND

what kind of madness is this

you should read this - Arbit Articles

now sometimes we are overcome by some weird desire to embarrass the heck out of our fellow tortured creatures... and when that urge comes we shud just go and bang our heads against the wall... Dr acharya, thnx for the kind words.. and consider banging your head against the wall so that you don't repeat it !!!

yeah yeah i cant take a compliment gracefully..

Monday, November 5, 2007

eAt oUT

Its been a while since i actually wrote something..
all of one week.

seems like one my blessed mater stops annoying me, i don't have much grievance with the universe.

now what i did notice is this... there are some people and then there are some people..
amazingly vague isn't it? :P
well there is this guy. he's sitting next to me right now in class... and i feel amazingly clandestine, posting this with him right next to me .. :P
but i think in 2 months of school, he's spent every single day eating free food in school. every SINGLE day.

not bought food a single day. not cooked not shopped. every single day find out where you get free food, in school .. and then go have it.

amazing. u just have to appreciate some people who get around. you just have to.