Friday, September 28, 2007

nUtHin uP mY sLEevE

something's up.

but i'm not telling you what till i figure it out completely.

and till then .... you'll just have to wait.

ok u get a clue. its not wat your expecting and you'll know what it is in a month.
ha ! thats all your u'll just have to be patient...


awright awright... this is what mood i'm in right now. ok ?

Thursday, September 27, 2007

sLicE oF hEAveN

outside my window...

ok let the crib fest end. life aint that bad after all.
its been raining all day and now that its stopped, you should look outside my window,

no no not yours. look outside mine. the sun will set soon and large masses of clouds move lazily across the skies. The sky is still blue with a hint of gold creeping over the horizon... The Cathedral of learning is right outside my window and its framed by gold on the left and grey bluish clouds on top...

"For so gr8 a treasure , words will never do ...."- some random song

oh well, for all the shit we go through in life, sometimes u have to stop and admit that there are grander things going on. there is beauty in the world , much more of it than we probably deserve ... should i talk bout God? do i even dare enter that right now???
I have a huge bay window which i keep open even though it glares into my eyes. and right now I could spend hours looking at the clouds moving across the expanse.

and then ofcourse the train comes through and shatters my reverie.
aaaah well back to work...

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

toO mAnY cOmPLaiNts

so you think i crib too much ?

well u wud too, if you were in my position...

"hi ma, whats it.. i got class now in a while"
"nothing much. how r things."
"things are fine..." {am on my gaurd now.. its 5 in the morning in india and there better be a gud reason for this call}

"how r talks with that guy ??"
"what talks? oh that.. oh we're ahead of schedule...."
"you are" {all excited}
"yeah sure...we might even come up with a new plan to fight global warming BEFORE Nov end." {i say dryly}
"ohhhhh stop acting too smart. am sure ur doing the same with him also.... i was just thinking bout u two...he's sooo cute. i feel like he's my son.
infact i wish he cud be my son in law, but he's too good for you..."
"whoa !! back up a minute.. whats that again ???" {i had tuned out in 2. 67 sec and was rudely woken up..}
"if thats what you think, why the heck did u ask me to talk to him in the first place???"
"becoz i really want him as a son-in-law"

"waaaaaaat???? u must be crazy.. " {i'm temporarily speechless...she's obviously lost it.. poor woman...}
"yeah, see if u can get him to say yes. i think u shud lose bout 20 pounds before you guys meet. try not to eat" { notice its not try not to eat TOO MUCH... its try not to eat}

"WHAT? that has to be the worst advice ever !! wat do u mean try not to eat..." {this is getting so ridiculous its actually funny.. though am THIS close to losing my temper}
" and wat do u mean GET him to say yes???? am i supposed to knock him on the head and hypnotize him or something????"
"I mean, why dont u NOT eat for bout a week or 2. am sure u'll lose those pounds in no time. "
"Ofcourse you are."
"am sure u can convince him... u should flirt a little.... "
"Thats RIDICULOUS.. your TELLIN me to do stuff like that ??? aaaaaaaaaaak !!!! eeeeeew i dont want to talk bout this with YOU !"
"btw you should be careful.. he's a good judge of character..."
{i interrupt ... by now i'm shouting.. which means i'm hopelessly not getting through to her...}
"WHAT the heck is that supposed to mean.. i have a perfectly fine character even if someone wanted to judge it... why the heck are u askin me to be CAREFUL?? infact its gud if ppl judge properly. and besides what about me judging characters.. doesnt that count?????"
" no no do u always have to get so touchy.. i just meant , you shud speak sense....{wat? now i dont speak sense anymore??} , and u should think before you speak..{ and i dont think before i speak anymore??? can this conversation GET any worse???}....
{she drones on and on...}

"ok so let me get this straight. you dont want me to talk what i think. you dont want me to look the way i am... are you sure u dont want to exchange me for someone else, so that u can get him as your son in law???? are u INSANE ??? I got class !!"


aah well , guess this counts as the crazy of the day....

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

mAsSes aND hOrdES

so we had a career fair right?

and these are real bloodbaths. u know that right? u rem the time u went to school...
oh come on u rem.... uve just suppressed the memories coz they were so traumatic

well u remember...
hordes of companies.. even bigger hordes of students and then after that the inevitable cross examination they put u through.. no no not the companies...
its the students..

"so did u get any calls"
"not yet, did you?"
"hmm yeah , bout 6 companies have shortlisted me for interviews.. i'm not sure bout 2 of them .. blah blah" {and all this while you try not to look bored, frustrated or try not to hack them to death with a stapler lying next to you}

"so what about you"
"hmm nope no calls." { ur fast sinking into the pit of gloom}
"oh dont worry, i'm sure you will" {she's really trying to be helpful? or pushing me further in the pit of gloom ?? passive agressive at its best.}

"did you apply to XXX , i did and got a call from them next sat for an interview. why didnt you apply to them??"
awright AWRIGHT already, they didnt want me ok? is that what you wanna hear?
are u TRYING to push me over the edge? coz if you are , ur succeeding very well lady. i ahve to hand it to ya... - all this running through my mind as i give this incredibly dirty look to that female and slowly walk away.

really the school shouldnt have so many staplers lying around...

aND hoW iT stArTs

i get up in the morning and already the thought of the day ahead is beginning to get up on my nerves.

so many things running through my head and the main ditty is how i need some sleep.

i just need some more sleep, and i know half my frustrations will disappear... but i also know that this entire sem will be this way.. i know a couple of things bout myself though..

i'll survive. and when the going gets really tough, i'll promptly fall asleep !!

oh man this sem is gonna kill me !

Saturday, September 22, 2007


I think i just id'd the biggest source of confusion in my life...

yup folks its none other than my MAAATHA.

yup she is the one. everytime i talk to her she gives such conflicting news/advice/suggestions.. no wonder am so lost !

Also i look around at the people around me... well whaddaya know ! theyr ALL confused... ok so granted that most are years younger than me... but still..
i dont think half of you out there know what your supposed to be upto or what you want.

the only difference i think is that i blab about it to everyone while you don't.

Friday, September 21, 2007


I was always curious

what made some people lazier than the rest ? i think i pondered this the most while my beloved maatha was yelling at me for not getting things done on time...
u know the kind who always pay the bills late, with ridiculous fines no less.. the one's who always forget to get things done until the last minute. those who pay a 1000 bucks in fines to the school because they did not pay the exam fees on time...

so while she yells .. i get lost in thought.. thinking how less complicated my life would be if only i would focus and get things done...
huh what did u say ?? oh ur still yelling about that application i forgot to turn in.. ok i'll be back in 15 min...
so where was i? oh yeah.. ther's this article you should read..

The Lure of Laziness

so apparently there are ppl who actually study this !! gosh why am i not doing THAT ????

oh are u still yelling ? my bad .. u can continue . i got some imp daydreaming to get back to ...


Once upon a time, I had an interview... and i was asked, what would you do if you were in a team and no one worked. what would you do, if you had to do all the work?
would you let ppl walk all over you ?

would you complain ? would you tell on your teammates ?

i think i blabbed something incredibly stupid of doing all the work ( trust me thats one job i didnt get ! and for good reason too ..). years and years later .. (actually only three) i'm still living those words. i always seem to end up in these projects where i seem to be the only one sitting in the lab early saturday morning and trying to figure out why the heck my processor insists on giving me such a hard time.

but inspite of all my bitchin i guess the only reason i still do it is that i have just too much fun. and i realized something else. my ability to work with stupid ppl has really gone down. i mean we had morons in the office before and i was pretty tolerant of it, else i'd atleast try to get things done...
but now? its like me doing the 3 partner course on my own.. and i rather prefer it that way !! i just find it way easier..

now imagine if i DID do my phd. i think i'd become down right unemployable !!!
never work with anyone at all !

Monday, September 17, 2007

rEpoRTs oF aNoTHeR kiND

4:20 - phone alarm beeps ...incessantly... loudly.. annoying. throw the phone off the bed. alarm stops beeping.
6:30 - get up with a start. rem reason for 4:20 alarm. assignment due in 4 hours. not yet started. start reading and scribbling.
8:30 - get up with a start again. realize been drooling over the assignment sheet. fallen asleep over question paper. mentally kick oneself. start writing in full earnest.

10:30 - assignment done. (hurray !) submit. go chat with roomie. look at the sky outside. life is good.
11:30 - reach school. remember second assignment. had forgotten all about it. shit ! project partner missing.panic attack starts. life sucks big time...
12:30 - everyone around has jobs. applying for jobs , very busy. feeling very sleepy again. check emails, hit F5 128th time. no emails. depressed, no jobs. no project partner in sight.
1:30 - friend from india pings. love life problems. help friend out. feel good. check time. class in an hour. worry , not prepped for class. feel terrible.
2:30 - class
3:30 - advisor calls in middle of class from out of town. remember not done any research in last 2 weeks since advisor out of town. start thinking of excuses.
3:45 - wake up. prof still talking. had dozed off in between. crap !

4:00 - wake up from day dream with a start. prof droning on, wait wait wats all that math on the board??? i don't understand anything...why are there so many greek symbols there ??? back up a sec !
4:30 - class ending. start ruminating on pointlessness of existence. purpose of life. future of of all mankind. prof announces project proposal dates. project partner arrives after class is over.
5:30 - lab. not prepped since slept all saturday. what is happening. is there any meaning to my life? why am i here? who am i ???

7:00 - everyone talks of job interviews , applying to companies. everyone's doing homework. feel more depressed. go to research lab. wait for professor. call him back. says talk tomorrow. full scale panic attack....update blog as too tensed to work...
waste time in school till 4:00 in the morning , in full panic mode now. go home and crash.

rinse and repeat ....

Saturday, September 15, 2007

nEw fiNdiNGs

i found a new love.
a new group - enya..

the voice haunts me and follows me where i go.

i hope u like it as much as i do.
am not much for mushy doings... so thats all i'll say.

have a gr8 day ahead !

loOkiN bACk

u know whats the best part of writing a blog right??

no no its not the millions of adoring fans u secretly hope to win {shhhh ur not supposed to let that out} or its not the book deal ur hoping to get which will make u as rich as **** oh well ass rich as anyone u can think of.
no those are the reasons u love your own blog. narcissism might be one. but not the prev listed one's.

well on a serious note, its actually when u go back and read it yrs later. when u see how stupid u once were and cringe. THOSE are the golden moments :D
its like a mental history map. come on.

doont u think your memories of yourself are biased? that u remember only the good times? that you tend to gloss over all your own stupidities ???
oh come on , u know it and if u want proof why dont u go back and read something that you wrote like 5 yrs ago ?? if u can find it that is.

yeah u'll see such a marked difference.
was reading my older blog {yes the one which is blocked from teh public due to public safety concerns..} and made me think of those times. when i was such an ass !

ofcourse not saying am not one now. in all probability i cud be a even bigger one !!
but well, some things sure have changed....

except for one thing. even a couple of yrs ago i was railing against the whole marriage thing. just made it painfully obvious how long i've been fighting this thing.
someone has to pay for all the trouble ive gone through.. wait i need to call my mother.....

Friday, September 14, 2007

wHeRE's tHE fuN

I just stumbled upon an old old post on my prev blog which is barred to the general public...due to public safety concerns :-/

but i think this is harmless enuf. i'm not half as bad a poet as i think i am...

where's the fun if u don't smile ?
if u don't wink and shake a leg ?
where's the fun if you hear no song ?
if you don't love and twirl around ?

if you don't hop and skip and run,
laugh and shout, giggle and have fun
what's left in life except dreary days
if you don't find ways
then where's the fun ?

would you rather , moan and cry ?
spend your days in despair and so dry
isn't it better to be in love ?
than sulk that he isn't the perfect one ?

grow up honey
there's no such thing
as a perfect world and
a perfect life

wake up and do
what you've never done
go out and smile at a passerby
make your life brighter
spend your days well
else where's the fun ?

- sheeths

;P my attempt at some whacko philosophy. i know i know it can be improved...
but then u gotta rem this was written in 5 min flat.

*** if the question is not understood ... then what of the consequesnce ? -- M B ***

Thursday, September 13, 2007

wRitTen sTyLE

i used to have a real fancy for graphology and sometimes old habits die hard..
after yrs of reading up on handwriting analysis, you never stop noticing a piece of paper with things written on it. I may not remember much, but then the brain instantly kicks into search and decipher mode...
after months of iris recognition , now everytime i meet someone , i look at their eyes. trying to estimate if their iris would make a gud test subject, if i can extract enough features from that iris ( though it has made more than one person uncomfortable.. i can imagine ... having someone like me peering intently at your eyes as soon as we meet CANNOT be a pleasant experience )
everytime i get a clear view of a palm , i have an urge to read the lines, everytime i see a snippet of a horoscope no matter how ridiculous i have the urge to go read all the planetry alignments and try to remember...

looking back i can see ive dabbled in some pretty wierd fields huh ?
for an engineer i mean.

u wud think that being in such a geeky place. surrounded by such nerds, i'd have turned into one of them..

no such luck !

the geekier my peers, the more eccentric i've become. almost like a desperate attempt to make sure i dont turn into a pure technocrat.

note : to all those geeks out there , reading this ( and i know all 4 of you'll well ... :P) - no offense.
but i dont mind all that time i spent in these areas... even if it came at a cost. sure i'm not exactly clear if my processor is a big or little endian machine.. but
then, atleast most ppl who meet me think i'm insane. (yes i consider that a plus. no i wont tell you why)

btw graphology IS a VERY interesting science and can be so much fun when it becomes intuitive :)


pEopLE iN bUseS

on a totally different note -

u know who i find wierd ?? ok ok not myself. i meant OTHER people.. can we focus here for a sec please ... {rollin my eyes}
anyhooo i was talkin but was - { ok ok enuf already .. u know that joke has grown rather stale..} was bout those females you find in the buses who don't know how to stand in a bus. u know those esteemable(did i just invent a word here or does the dictionary not recognize this word ?) category who supposedly stand in the bus, but sway dangerously all over the place at the slightest movement.

come on. how fast could it be going??? max 20 miles an hour. in this country ?? max.
so why do u have to be a public hazard to the rest of us who DO know how to brace ourselves against momentum ?
its not rocket science, just a little fancy knee bending at the right time and voila ! your steady and not potentially sitting on some dude's lap.

i think these are the same girls who hold on to the railing to show of their watches ... i mean what else could it be ??? its not your lovers hand for chrissake... its a RAILING. hold on to it if u cant get the footwork right...

but noooo i have to dodge ur infernal swaying so that i dont get hit in the eye by a 2 ton bag which is bigger than even me. and am sure the dude would mind u sitting on his lap either , except that that bag of yours would permanently damage the family jewels.

hOw LoNG iTS bEen

the song that goes with the lyrics of the prev post

yest when i sat in class, the one with the prof whose voice sends me to sleep ..
I had an epiphany (hey i spelled it right !)

just struck me, how far i was from home sitting in a class with one of the best profs in the field and with the gall to sleep. now i cud get all mushy and philosophical and ruminate on how i never thought i'd ever be where i was.
i cud
i cud also gag

neither are pleasant so lets skip it.

but I cant resist. so ppl susceptible to gagging dont read on ...
:) and dont say i didnt give ya fair warning either ..

just think bout it.
stop for a minute and look around. haven't u come a long way from the kid you were?
from the kid that played without a care in the world, from the times which i wudnt say were simpler, but were so different ?
where we wouldn't think ahead beyond a few days, which grew to a few months, and then we started thinking a few yrs ahead..

stop and think. bout the journey. after all thats what's gonna add up to ur life in the end.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

sOng anD A LaRK

ok this time its a poem instead of a song

May it be an evening star
Shines down upon you
May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh! How far you are from home

Mornie utĂșlie (darknesss has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alantie (darknesss has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

May it be the shadows call
Will fly away
May it be your journey on
To light the day
When the night is overcome
You may rise to find the sun

Mornie utĂșlie (darknesss has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alantie (darknesss has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

A promise lives within you now

- Composed and performed by Enya
Lyrics by Roma Ryan

some of the most beautiful music ive heard recently. yup its from LOTR...
one of the best books i read... after listening to this , one could almost believe .....

perhaps its all worth it in the end.

i'll dedicate it to all the people i knew who had to pass away from this world before me. mebe i'll meet you again some day.

toO LaTE

ok so its only been 3 weeks in school. u ask how bad can it be ??
u are SOOOOOO ignorent, and I can't spell for nuts.
deal with it.

like i said, i go home bout 4 everyday. but yest i went home early.. no no not becoz i had finished my work in school, it was coz both my roomies had their b'day yest and they were trying to scream at me to get my ass home so that they cud cut their cake.
seeing that its only 4 of us, even one person missing makes it a rather sad party.
but trying is the right word .... coz everytime she tried to threaten me to try and get me home, all i kept parroting was "i got lab. let me go."

but anyways since i'm so nice (yeah right), I did go home early (the real reason was that she let slip there was cake at home).. well fairly early. it was only 1.
but thats the time disaster strikes.

wat happens??
well my prof calls and asks me for some ppt slides on my research. ofcourse the fact that its middle of the night has no bearing on anything.
so i have 10 hours to get something out.
plenty of time for anyone. ofcourse.
except that i got 2 homeworks (the word still makes me cringe btw) due and havent had a total of 5 hours sleep in the last 48+ hours...
welcome to grad school.

ofcourse u know what happens next.
no no , i don't stay up all night to finish everything.

i eat cake. i decide to shut my eyes for an hour and the next thing i know its 9 in the morning and daylight streaming through the windows.

^%$%# &^*(*&^
welcome to grad school.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007


the videos of me in an elevator, would probably win some kind of comedy award.

i usually get home by 4 in the morning and by that time all i can think of is my bed...
so when i get into the elevator and then am impatiently tapping my foot ad cursing the ancient contraption.... thats when i realized that its been too long in the elevator..

hmmph something is not right.

oh yeah..... i've forgotten to push the button!

so there i've been, stationary, the last 10 minutes dreaming of my bed on the 9th floor, while the bucket of bolts was calmly waiting for me to come to my senses and push the button.
oh but what makes it truly ignoble is that this happens atleast twice a week.

Monday, September 10, 2007

whY sHoULd wE gO bACk?

would you consider it incredibly pathetic that a grown woman had to sit back in school and do HomeWork ?? at 2 in the morning???

yup, early morning, perfect for philosophy. perfect to ruminate, on your direction in life and chew a pencil trying to think what how many cycles my processor takes for read write operations.
any thoughts?


probably not.

lets get on.

i read an interesting article recently. apparently what i thought was a local debate which i had with my friends, is not. that.
Apparently its something lot of people ask, and considering the sudden surge of traffic suddenly directed my way, i almost feel like tucking in my shirt and straightening my hair... almost.

honestly didnt expect that and now i just wish i hadnt left a loose link at that post, but if u want to read it , here it is
Staying Back in the US

it makes a gud case. though flawed ( I believe)
For a guy he's almost convincing that he knows a lot about females.
the operative word being almost.

and i also notice that the majority of people who find his article very thorough and logical are the males. all very gud.
but what IS the truth out there ??
while ofcourse its impossible to speak for a large number of females, we have never met ( neither you nor I ) and also largely to the reason that beyond this moment , I probably dont care much bout what you or anyone thinks they know enuf bout Indian females and the way they operate...
I forgot my point.

on another note, the only female actually ONLY ONE person i know hates the motherland enuf to want to run away from it. the rest? well the rest have a common consensus that the rest of the world is all very good for a gud jolly ride, for a while, for some money, basically for a song and a lark, but home is where they'd settle. god knows what they mean by that. mebe they'd get back after they turned 40. mebe they feel conflicted, mebe they'r just in denial. but ther's no doubt bout one thing.

Not one is completely closed to that idea. every single one agrees there are opportunities, and that life wouldnt be all that bad. if just a tad uncomfortable becoz of the traffic. i think the single most objection to returning was traffic and corruption. Pollution being a close third. not one even cared bout in-laws (with the exception of myself i think.. which should be painfully obvious from the prev posts)
or loss of freedom, or career constraints...

so THATS why i dont agree with half the things said here
Follow up on staying back in the US

oh well thats just my take and i see that i was a colossal ass when i try writing a serious post.
am stuck with a funny bone.. and for now so are u :-/

ps: Now i really have to be careful with my typos .. we don't want the guests to be be disappointed do we?? man ! its almost too much effort and being technically challenged as I am, its impossible for me to remove that link from that post...

Friday, September 7, 2007

gOnNA dO iT

I'm gonna do it.

i dont care what you think. and i dont care how irresponsibly i'm behaving. i have to do it.

i know i know. i shud be staying at home and studying. but when did i ever do that sincerely ??
i know i know i shud be behaving like the perfect indian female.. but when did THAT ever happen?
there will always be school. there will always be studies. but what bout life ?? when do i live??

i'm gonna do it. there's no use u trying to dissuade me from it. so don't even bother trying.

yup i've made up my mind.

i'm going to detroit this weekend. again. even though i just went there last week.
why ? what were u thinking??? yup i agonize so much over a single trip...

why u pervert !

Thursday, September 6, 2007

aN oLD stORy rEToLd

this was an old old mail back in the day when i was working and had too much time on my hands.. kinda like now...

(yawn) am beat

hey vd forget bout the whole bottom thing ...
it was the whole baby's pictures thingy.... let me explain...

sorry N... but u gotta understand...
it all started this way...

my landlady (an old woman of 65..) had a visitor from mars !!
her grandaughter of 3 ... now ,wen the rest of the general population like N, V,A,etc,etc wud say ooooooh loooook how cute at the site of the little darlin....
warning bells were ringin in my head ....coz she was givin me these wierd sidelong glances...(no i AM NOT paranoid ppl)

well ok i thot how much harm can a 3 year old do...i'l just stay out of her way....she was there for 5 days where i managed to avoid her for 4. but one day....

the girl was cryin for bangles,chain, anything etc,etc everyday and that day her grandma i.e my landlady went n got her one ... a BLOODY 8 GRAND GOLD talk bout doting grandma's...
plz hark back to u'r childhood days and tell me if u EVER got gold to stop cryin??

anyone ?? ever??? i remember being spanked when i asked for a new eraser...

nyway the 'cute lil one' is wearin it the whole day and soon as i come from office (at 9:30)...i plonk down on the sofa..and she scrambles on my lap...
dat's not so bad u say..[(snort) wat do u know?] ...well it wudn't be except she started pullin my chain,comparing it with hers for the next 15 min and then she declared mine was better n she wanted it !!!!!
i told her i cudn't remove she started examining my earing from all angles !!!
now i was reaaaly in trouble as even she cud tell that i have easily removable earings...

let me say i have never shown greater self restraint in my life ...coz while i was smiling desperately..all i wanted to do .......was thro the critter off me and run screaming for my life :-/

ok then her mom comes to feed her and stuffs her mouth with rice and now i'm terrified she's gonna drool over me ,so i try to get her to straighten up.
her grandma tells her to get off me n eat in a decent manner like civilized people do and guess wat the "cute" girl does...
she sprays rice all over her grandma's face...

aaaaaaaaaaak !!

the blood drained from my face as i watched in horror, mentally picturing the same fate while her mom laughed..laughed !! (choke)

then she looks at me with a sweet smile (shudder) and digs into her nose.. now guys as she was still sittin on my lap ..i thot (very foolishly i can add) that i shud say i told her that was not a very nice thing to do......(i SWEAR dat's all i told her) (sniff)
and she tries to wipe her hands on my face !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(ugh)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak !!!!

i'm ashamed to admit dat's wen all courage left me and i just got up and RAN... i think i nearly flung her towards a nearby wall.

now i have nightmares......
am too emotional to continue but now u understand don't u....why i detest kids so much....

i have sworn the next time i see a kid maybe i'll pinch it hard wen no one's lookin ...maybe then they'll stay away from me !!!

and 4 all those who didn't care at all either way bout d whole thing
i solemnly hope u never have kids such as these ..ugh..scary thot...i'm never comin to u'r house if u do...

wAit a sEC

most people think i obsess.

let me set the record straight. ur absolutely right. i do obsess. but then couple it with an attention span of a goldfish, and i think the problem takes care of itself.
so the net result is that i obsess in brief bursts of high intensity bout a topic or a person, and then a couple of weeks later, i've completely forgotten about it.

now that you know this piece of fascinating tidbit about me, doesnt that make you feel a whole lot better when i'm busy spamming you with a gazillion emails????
i don't look so much like a deranged stalker , now do i ??
u no longer have to worry bout seeing me outside your window ( creepy even for me!! ugh!!!) and no longer have to remember that call to the lawyer, bout the restraining order.

i notice this in milder doses in other ppl. just that being an intense kind of character, its just magnified in yours truly. now i find this extremely fascinating and if you do not... say no more !! i will continue writing and you can flip the page.. oh ok this isn't a book... but u get the bl***y idea.

so having as i do, a passing interest in myself, (who am i kiddin, i admit it! i'm self obsessed) i tried to plot the distribution span of my interest in the new things i stumble upon. usually follows a bell curve skewed heavily to the left..
so i peak early and then taper of gradually for some time and then its an instant drop to complete and utter boredom.
hmmmm not so much a bell curve is it ? if i was still in the i-love-geometry mode i cud have prob told you more....

now ofcourse this state of affairs is fine by me, but its a lil tricky when u meet new ppl. why ? coz its easy to freak them out by showing too much interest in them and then they start thinking of restraining orders and new locks on their doors.
but by the time they've ordered the locks and opened the box, i'd probably be long gone... peering at the next character i meet and figuring out what makes them tick.

well anyways, to get back to the point, this lil clarification shud set things straight with a whole lot of ppl..
give me a sec while i mail this to all 6 of them..

liSTeN tO mE

i give lots of advice to ppl. usually.

being a long suffering martyr in the area , yet witnessing so many love couplings happening around me... i always give advice, well... ahem.. mebe not always the best..

girl( who i know thru my roomie and not that well): i don't know wat to dooooo.. (long wail) i love my boyfriend, but my parents won't agree.
me: why not? where is he??
girl: he just got here.. and its an inter caste thing. i tell u if u wanna fall in love , u better make sure its within the same caste.
me: thnx will keep that in mind
(with as straight a face as i can manage without pulling some muscle in my face)i'm sure its gonna happen. me falling in love.
any minute now.

girl: ofcourse it will honey ( well she's nice enuf to try to console me, thinking as she is that i'm heartbroken at the lack of another complication in life.. yup thats all i need an intercaste interreligion love story to make my life more interesting. why don't i do one better and join a cult while i'm at it? )

me: anyways, so wats the porb. ur both here and ur parents r at back home...
girl: yes i know. they finally said yes, after all these yrs.. but u know theyr old. u know how they r , they may change their mind anytiiiiiiiime ( another long wail)
me: yes old ppl are generally senile. thats true. well since they've said yes this week u shud just go to Las Vegas and get married. after all u can tell them that, since they already said yes u found no sense in waiting and u thot they were senile and wud change their mind any minute.
( i look back serenely while she stares at me as if ive lost my mind..)

its at this point when i cud have really dug deep inside of me, for my latent debating skills to convince her of my excellent plan, while my roomie realizes what i'm upto and pounces on me before her impressionable friend actually decides i'm making any sense at all.

oh darn !! i was this close too .....

yeah... devil spawn aint the half of it ...

sTiLL aT iT

i dont know wat took me so long to post all these conversations..

this was another one. won't claim it as mine ....


poor chap: hello ?
his grandmother: hello beta... how u doing.. blah blah... so when r u comin back to get married ??
pc: arrey daadi,i'm only 24....
hg: what has that got to do with anything ? u finishing in dec?
pc: but i can barely complete my assignments.. wat the heck am i gonna do getting married????
hg: arrey beta u HAVE to get married.. so u fin in dec?? i'll start looking for girls...
pc: waaaaaaaat??? no no .. well , since ur insisting so much.... am a lil busy this weekend. but i think i can manage something next weekend.
hg: huh waazzzzat ?? wat r u talkkin bout??
pc: arrey shaadi. i mean , ur so insistent, how can i refuse?? don't worry granny, i'll do it next to next weekend.
hg: waaaaaaaaaat????? arrey beta wat r u saying?? i meant u have to come here to get married. back home..

pc: oh no granny, u said i gotta get married.. don't worry, now i wont come back home till i do. shaadi bina , ab muh nahin dikhaaoonga !!! ab yeh mera vachan hai !!!!

(this has to be the best part, i cant imagine her plight at this point !! )
atleast pc is having some fun ..{chuckle} i was pretty much rolling on the floor laughing at this stage ....
hg: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?????? (absolute panic ensues as a million scenarios of blondes and latinos are conjured up... )

click. that shud be enuf sleepless nights for a couple of weeks.....

so you see, its not always the girls who are in trouble.. sometimes poor saps have to bear the cross too :)
makes me all warm inside to know that :D

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

tHE ciRcUS cOntiNUEs

so many ppl (all of 2) liked what i wrote yesterday, i thought i shud expand a bit more...

some more of my sat...

ring ...

me: hello ? (groggily)
her: are u still in bed ? its ur mother here... thers this guy .. (blah blah, the whole story just like the last post)
me: ok whatever. what do u want me to do now?
her: i wish you'd do something bout the way you look..
me: wat bout it. thers nothing wrong with it. i look fine..
her: (brightens up) so u look better than when u left home a yr ago ??

me: hmmm not really. a bit worse i think. i may have gained some weight..
her: ohh noooo. whyyy do u do this to me????
me: relax, it isn't all that bad...
her: it isn't ?? u mean ther's hope yet ?? mebe u can NOT eat for the next couple of weeks. that's gotta help..( her voice is hopeful)
me: sure anything you say. can i go back to sleep now.
her: not yet. can't u do anything else to improve ur appearence ?
me: ummm i cud comb my hair...

her: egad! are u trying to say u've been going to school without bothering to comb your hair again ???
me: not exactly... (dont wanna tell her , that i haven't been able to find my comb in 2 weeks..)
her: (her voice is getting shriller by the sec) WILL you PLEASE stop fooling around and take some basic care of wat ur doing out there. lady, ur coming back as soon as you finish your degree. and ur staying here where i can keep an eye on you.
me: sure ! ( i'm not telling her that i'm secretly trying to petition for a phd seat out here.. or mebe a job or mebe canadian citizenship...)

her: (voice still climbing..) now you just listen...


this was going nowhere and i got bored.
sorry mum will call you when uve forgotten this conversation...

3 riNgED CiRcUS

my sundays...

ring ...
me: hello ?
hello .. hey this is ur mother
me: uh ok. wassup ? ( i am wary ...why the isd?? this can't be gud ...)
her: actually had to tell you something. (uh oh, doesnt sound gud at all)
me: bout what ?
her: ther's this guy. (isn't there ALWAYS ??? sigh..)

me: i thought u said u wudn't talk bout this till my sem ended. u know its distracting to deal with this.
her: yes but this is the absolute last. i promise. i didnt do ANYTHING.. just landed on my lap.. yada yada yada.
me: yes last one. thats wat u said for the last 3 guys u made me talk to.
her: no no this is absolute last. i promise.
me: fine wat do u want me to do now?
her: very little. u just have to lose 30 pounds in the next 10 days and when he emails, don't talk too much. don't say anything that will be considered cheeky and only answer to whatever he asks
(its at this point in the conversation that i regrettably lose my cool and explode )
what the &^%^&$$#*&Y *&^^$^%&* , what do u &^%^*&Y think of yourselves ???
absolutely not. i got class. and i'm not going this much out of my way.

now the woman starts wailing... bout how ungrateful i am..
next follows an hour of me being extremely pissed and she trying to convince me that i'm a no gud cretin who is duty bound to all my previous generations..

me: awright awright, i cant take this anymore. is the guy atleast worth all this pain ??
her: ofcourse he's an absolute angel..
me: wait a sec, and have u considered that most consider me THE devils spawn ?? no offense to you ofcourse..
her: none taken. but thats why i'm asking you to make this work. dont let on bout who u really are...

me: wazzaaaat???? this has the most fool idea u ever had. call me when u come to your senses. and for what its worth mebe i shud just drop in a word with that poor sod warning him against ppl like you !
her: why r u like THIS??? if u continue like this you will die ALONE... ( a long wail)..
me: thats not such a bad idea if everyone will promise to leave me alone...
her: but u wont have children ... (even longer wail.. )
me: lady i wudnt have them EVEN if i was married. pesky lot , all of them..
her: whyyyyyy r u like THIS. heyy ram.. what have i done to deserve such an ungrateful child.. (goes on for a while. i'll spare u the serpent child speech)
me: ok ok watever. quit whining. i'll do anything to make those loud pitched noises stop. what do u want me to do? talk to that chappie??? ok fine. let me at him.
her: oh ur an angel! i knew u'd listen. ( obv her moods change faster than u can say oprah.. i need to check her meds) .. but be sure not to scare him. ( she hasn't caught on that i asked her to let me at him. which obv means i intend to.. well u know..)
me: ha! obviously. no sane person cud withstand that much whining and nagging anyways and i cant promise that. can i go back to sleep now ?
her: ofcourse, just u wait. i have a gud feeling bout this.
me: don't u always ?? thats exactly what you said bout the last 2 guys too... or was that 3..
her: that was different. they didnt seem right..
me: funny how insistent you were that they were each THE ONE.
her: don't argue so much. u know how ppl don't like that. i wish u'd....
me: ok ok. quit it...


its been 3 weeks, and i'm still sleeping peacefully. the angelic cherub has never bothered to contact and SHE has forgotten all bout it....

another sunday...

me: hello ?
her: hey , its ur mother. i got some news for u..
oh gr8 hear we go again ....groan..

Tuesday, September 4, 2007


its janmashtami today or mebe yesterday.
my most fav fest of the year. just back from my vacation and am glad i did it, no matter what happens.

oh btw i took this pic. its the view we have most evenings from our house :P

happy krishnashtami folks !!

Saturday, September 1, 2007


wow that was an awesome trip.

the 5 of us, from pittsburgh to detroit... we're on our way in a greyhound bus.

well so what do u think happens? first we are bumped off our scheduled bus coz there were ppl who were waiting in the terminal for the last 10-17 hours.. so they were given preference. well first of all its the weekend of the labor day. and its crowded.

so here we are sitting in a terminal, waiting for the next bus thats 3 hours later..
spirits are high , we're still laughing. no one really wants to think bout the long journey ahead of us..
ofcourse we are so brilliant that none of us are carrying water or any food. so basically we are sitting there with a bunch of potato chips and some chocolate milk (yup very healthy food choices !! )

ok, so we're waitng and then the 4 o'clock bus comes.. now this bus is gonna reach detroit at midnight..k cool we can manage that ....

till the bus drivers stops at a gas station and tells us she's lost !!!!


man thats funny !
we're lost somewhere in the state of Ohio !!!!
and she ahs no idea where we are.

thats why we reach detroit after 12 hours in the bus, after midnight and very very hungry :)
was an interesting trip to see the least ! but u had to be there :D