Tuesday, July 31, 2007

hAvE yOU LoOKed iN tHE miRRor lAteLY ?

how many of you have stared at yourself so long that ur heartily sick of seeing your face ? bored actually. hey if ur one of those creatures that craves variety, it'll come as no surprise to you that there are some of us who wish for some variety with our faces too !! :P

recently put up a new photo of mine. now i'm the least vain person (atleast i believe so, though the claim itself may point to some kind of vanity ! )
and i know i'm no ...ummm... who can i say.... well am no ...jennifer aniston ? well anyways i know what i am. and really i can't remember a single time if it bothered me for more than 20 secs.

now this pic was a unique perspective coz it was a product of some whacky picassa editing. and have to admit the end product was more like morticia of the addams family than a heroine of the 50's. though i was aiming towards the latter !!

wat was interesting was the reaction to that photograph !! very wide and varied.
ofcourse the only reason i put it up was that it provided me with a gud laugh after a loooong time of feeling in the dumps. everytime i looked at it, it just cracked me up !!

but lets get back to the point....
the reactions...

some ppl thot i looked like i was being tortured by death eaters, some ppl thot i was a elephant serial killer (??!! only N cud come up with that ! lol ). Then there was the miss sleepy eyes, miss gorgeous , miss i-wanna-take-u-out-on-a-date (??!!! this poor dude was clearly delusional, infact he had never seen me before. i reassured him he didn't really want to actually go on a date with me! ) ..
my personal favourite was "omg wat happened to you" and "i fainted".

wats reaaally interesting is that almost all my closest bestest friends hated it OR thot it was hillarious. and almost all the acquaintances or gud friends or ppl who didnt know me so well, thot it was gr8.
well i wonder what that means now.... ????

interesting hmmmm......

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

gUiLtY aS cHarGED ?

I've been accused of many things, railed against, one-upped aplenty. I've probably heard the entire gamut of insults from being an insensitive b_____ to a stone-hearted ungrateful kid.

Yet the only charge that gave me pause was being called a romantic fool. Hey now this was serious stuff. And I'd really like to draw a defense against this one.

Now don't go around assuming stuff ... not that kind of romantic fool. this time it was for making the preposterous suggestion that there was hope for mankind after all.
Yes i know ... i know, there might not be any hope. we might all be hurtling towards our utter destruction , a nuclear holocaust and if there isn't any hope, then mankind be damned, nothing we do makes any sense.
But under the circumstances however grim they maybe , i prefer looking at the silver lining. after years and years of being a pessimist , I'm changing camp.
But wait, Now thats not exactly what am being accused of.

Oh no. what the exact ...ahem... complaint is that Ive romanticized all ideas of our filthy, corrupt mothercountry and remembering it through rose tinted glasses. Am forgetting the pollution, the eve teasing, the disgusting pawing mindless crowd. and harping on how gr8 home is. After all I do not live there. hence its easier for me to harp on its qualities while I have myself left for 'greener pastures'. And THIS is highly hypocritical of me....
Big Talk


Do i even care enough bout what you think for me to spend any time defending this ??
Does it make any difference to me what you think my motives are , for doing the stuff that I do ???

NOT ....

Well you go ahead and live in your bubble and I'll be happy in mine. All i'll say is
I've given your opinion a fair hearing in my head (one has to be just after all ..)
and have come to the conclusion that satisfies me.

meanwhile enjoy the song.

fiND a wAy

for all those who say that we're too insignificant to make a difference
for all who say that there are just too many obstacles in our way for us to change our society
for those who say that the 'system' is broken and can never can be fixed
for all the schmucks who prefer to bury their head in the sand and ignore what's happening outside their stepford lives ....

all I gotta say is get off your sorry ass and find a way. there's always hope. many people before you have found a way to help. and if YOU put your mind to it , am sure you can think of some way too. mebe you can skip eating in that 5 star restaurant this weekend and give the money to a kid instead. any kid.... hey its better than the money making its way through your digestive system !

either you admit that you don't care enough to make an honest attempt or you do something. just stop making stupid excuses.

go ahead check the link
Article in Times of India

and so what if it was 5 years ago. things could only have improved since then. hell mebe i'm an optimist and an idealist.....
do i really care what you think ?

yOu wiLL bE miSSEd

She was a fun soul. full of life. and she passed away day before yesterday.
There was no meaning, no sense of the grand scheme of things, no higher purpose, no argument u can make that can make me understand why this had to happen.
Its hard to believe in a higher god. to trust in a higher power in the face of such senseless death.
It was just a freak accident....

This is a tribute to you , Shivani. perhaps I'll find a nicer song some day. but we will miss you. and remember you. your zest of life. and we pray that you have found peace wherever you are.

what it takes to remind us how transient life is, and how much we take for granted.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

nO, i abSoLUTelY dO iNSisT

of all the things I hate , its my phone ringing. I hate the ringtone. Its not that there aren't better ring tones. I have particularly searched for the vilest ringtone I could find. and now, everytime it rings I feel such pain and animosity towards the poor caller, its guaranteed to ruin the very experience of calling me for the poor sap who's on the other day.

Life's lil pleasures.....

ofcourse the thing I detest more is being woken up by it. Early morning, when I'm having the wierd dream of me being a burglar again for the 176th time... it starts blaring. and reminding me the world can find me whenever someone has a whim. I do detest the phony inventions, by jove !!
Life was a lot simpler when you cud disappear when u wanted to do. nowadays, you gotta log of all 3 of ur instant messangers, not check both your email accounts. switch off the phone. take an impromptu ticket to a random destination and then if your lucky no one runs into you when ur aimlessly walking around like a beach bum.

now, who was calling me at the infernal ungodly hour ? it was my mum. now, my mum is a sport. she is. but she doesnt get the whole day time conversion thing. or mebe she doesnt get that i'm a beach bum who's not fully awake till noon.
and what has dear mum called me bout ? its about a propsect !!!

by Jove !!! this takes the cake ! say what ?
having to listen to it is bad enuf, to be actually woken up ? anyways i suspect that she figures , since blackmail, threats bout bodily harm and eternal damnation in hell, pleading to my sense (??!!) and reasoning have all failed, i think she figures that the only way to catch me unawares is to get me when i'm half comatose.
now the worst part of this is I have no blooming idea what I agreed to. I might have agreed to anthing. u understand my state of panic , now dont u ?? {pleading voice}
and I can't even call back ! its bloomin night there ...

and all the while all I could think of was my bloomin minutes and how I was getting charged even for the bloomin incoming calls during the week.

gaaaaaah. i think i might have agreed to anything just to get her off the phone.

i'm screwed aren't I ??

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

iT's pOSsibLE

stand at the edge and look down and tell me what you see.

look hard into the abyss and the abyss shall look into you.

oh u can give a bunch of statements out and they make no sense at all unless its you there. standing at the edge and about to take that leap. i never understood people who insisted that life should be a certain way. predetermined by someone long dead and gone. a way of life , dictated by others around them.
If you knew that anything was possible. forget everything. forget everyone who has expectations out of you. forget the whole world. if you knew that you were absolutely alone in the world, an orphan making your way, what would you do with your life?
imagine no pressure. no preconceived ideas for your life. u cud do absolutely anything you wanted. what would it be ???

now, thats your dream and shouldn't you be working towards THAT ?? instead of what your doing right now ???

Monday, July 9, 2007

iF yOU inSisT

many of you insist that i was in love.
that i was interested and was going around with some chappie.

ok ok i admit it.
i cant take the pressure anymore.

i liked this guy. all of 1 hour and 40 minutes. quite a record for me.
he was quite an interesting character u know.
but ofcourse it went nowhere ... there were too many barriers...

we were from two different worlds and it would never have worked. oh sure i was heartbroken when i thought of my bleak existence without him and all... but my friends consoled me over some ice cream and eventually i knew i wud live. i wud manage to pick up th broken threads of my life and go on....

sigh ..if only ...

well then wat do u think happened?
the movie got over and i went to have my ice cream.

hey !! so sue me ! i liked a character in a movie...
hey , i WAS heartbroken !! how dare u suggest my pain wasn't real. well anyways don't tell my roomie. she paid for the ice cream :P

ok ok i'll get serious and answer your question. though why u wanna know is beyond me. there was this one chap , he was my senior in fencing classes... oh wait a minute thats a book i read last week.... mebe it was that guy i saw outside the chemistry lab... oh no wait i never took chemistry...

nopes sorry fellas. but looks like there was only ice cream and books in my life. which kinda explains why i'm like this.. if u know what i mean ....
yeah yeah i know its very disappointing u didn't get ur scoop. live with it.

stop pesterin me will ya... have some ice cream.
i'll have chocolate pls.

i'LL rEtraCT mY sTateMEnTS

from the previous posts some of u may come to think of me as an arrogant bitch, pardon my language. but i beg to differ. i am not arrogant. just perhaps a bitch.

now i'm under no dillusions that i'm a prize catch. and honestly no offense to any of the 'propsects'. hey if u listen to what i gotta say, u got off easy.
u can't even begin to imagine the magnitude of the disasters u escaped ...
ya know?

so now i dont wanna hear of any talk of arrogance or any other tosh ! i never pretended to be some dah-li-lah character , heck i'd prob give u the car to make ur getaway in ...

so now that i've ruffled all the smooth feathers ... oops.. i mean smoothened all the ruffled feathers, can i borrow a 100 bucks ?? i need to catch this train to umm...aaahhh.. well u know since i gave away the car to this chap for a getaway ....

oh gimme a 100 bucks will ya ?

std disclaimer: now that this explanatory post is posted , the author understands that she can take any liberties she wants with her versions of realities and no legal action shall be taken against her. ofcourse the author also hopes that u understand this also.

Thursday, July 5, 2007

dEclAre iT

well i guess this is dedicated to that fast dwindling section of my friends who are single.
while some of u find that special someone and ..ahem.. watever, the rest of us, clink our beer bottles together and sing this song....


oh man i had to come back to this ... i really liked this singer. so obv i try to find some other songs. the next song i click on youtube. no, u HAVE to guess which one.

it says
"i wanna have your babies"

oh man! :-/
and just when i was beginning to feel gud bout the songs...


u know there was a time when i suspected i had multiple personalities..

then there was this time when i thought i was schizo ... and this other time i was wondering bout bipolar disorders ...

ok so u got the picture ...

but just think. that if i was right even once. then the ppl around me are in BIG trouble.
well specifically the 'prospect' i referred to in my prev post wud be in the biggest trouble.

oh. this is part of a continuing series. lets name it. or mebe label it.

to get back to the topic in hand. ever wonder how a conv with 'propsect' wud go ??
{no its not a typo u dud, i'm calling them propsects now, u'll know why}

ring ring
me: hello ?
prop: hi

me: yes ? who's this ?
prop: this is beeep beeep {cesored out on request}
me: oh hi. how u doing.
{10 min of small talk. am perfectly reasonable. i talk intelligently of my work, my house, my parents, barely remember to ask after his. }
{conv is dying as he has asked many questions and i've stopped, after asking how his family is doing, coz lets face it. i dont really wanna know. hey i forget anyways , so sue me i dont ask interesting questions ....}
{and my mother has threatened to nag me to death if i act too smart ...}

prop: so if u have ANY questions u can ask me. {big mistake as he realizes too late}
me: really? ok cool. i'll start. why do u want to get married ?
prop: umm what ?
me: yeah go on tell me. what is the reason. why do u want a wife. what r ur expectations
prop: well i thot it was time. and my parents asked me to.
me: ur getting married bcoz ur parents want u to ? do u really think thats a gud idea.
prop: actually no.

me: so how much do u earn?
prop: umm.. about beeep. {a very decent amount i guess, but am ignorant so i ask.}
me: and is that enuf? can u support a family ?
prop: {completely nervous, family?? like in multiple ppl?? wtf is she talkin bout} umm.. prob not.
me: then do u think u shud be getting married now in such a hurry ?
prop: umm actually no

me: oh dont worry bout it. {better not send everyone into blind panic}
so what r ur plans ? do u have a house?
prop: house?? errr ..no.. planning to buy one in couple of yrs..
me: cool. i hope that works out for u. personally i always had a dream. i wanted a house with a swimming pool.
prop: a.. a pool ?
me: ofcourse and a library. u know with those floor to ceiling shelves...
prop: ofcourse {dignified} thats an excellent idea.

me: yeah i know. i know i can get it one day. if i slog hard enuf.
oh btw i have some principles. {i can hear my grandmum turning in her grave}
i wont have children. i believe there are enuf children on this planet. i think we shud all be socially respnsible and adopt ....{this goes on for a while}...

hello ? hello ? u there ???? {no signs of life on other end}

prop: hmm .. yeah i am. i think u have very noble ideals.
me: yeah i know. unfortunately no one gets me. {now no one can disagree with the lofty ideals and not seem like a complete jerk. check }
me: yeah ... so u planning to get married so soon ? within 6 months ? dont u think u need more time to see if ur compatible ?? .... {this goes on for 2 min}

prop: actually yes. my parents are just pressurizing me. i told them i was not interested in anything so soon...
me: hey u gotta stand up for urself. u know i've been fighting .....{this goes on for 5 min} .. so u see, right? we have to make the choice when we are ready and not when they are.

prop: ur right. i think i'll tell my parents that i'll not be ready for another 3 yrs. ur absolutely right.
me: ofcourse i am.


hey if i'm doing this i'll be sure that everyone's hair in my family is completely grey.

like i said
"if i'm going down, i'm taking everyone with me." :P

standard disclaimer::: this post has no resemblance to anyone dead or living. and if u perceive any....uh oh. now hold on.
pls let me tell u this one small thing. u were NOT supposed to read this.

hey i protest. pls cut back on the vodka its messing up with the voices in ur head. but ofcourse. i mean no disrespect.

ofcourse not.