Tuesday, May 12, 2009

in sOmE paRtS o' ToWn

A: lets go downtown. i want to go to the carnival.

me: sure. we can just.. like walk around there if we can't find it. coz we don't see anything about the carnival online..

[ so we go , get lost there. its darn confusing to drive anywhere in that downtown. after driving on the same bridge 3 times and getting horribly lost. we stop somewhere and decide to ditch the carnival for now. ]

me: heyy there's a chinese garden. we can go see that! i like chinese stuff.

A: sure. whatever. i'm tired of driving.

20 min later we've gone through the whole garden and standing outside. the garden is now closed.

me: well that was quick.

A: ... we have another 40 min on the parking meter.... now what??

me: well this looks like china town. lets look around!

A: ok!

10 minutes later. we're standing in front of this theatre kind of place. with these posters with the names of some kind of show..
our heads tilted to one side, we try to figure it out...

A: what IS this??

me: i dunno. it looks like some kind of bar, show thing.

A: but why are the women SO UGLY??



and SO BIG??

me: i dunno. see? there's a bette midler's poster. do you think she comes here too??
mebe its a singing show....

A: what IS it??

me: i dunno.. see there's a poster saying minors are not allowed. are you a minor? they pro-bably serve alcohol.

A: ofcourse NOT. i'm older than 21.

this goes on for another 5 minutes while passers by are giving us strange looks as we stand there gawking at the posters.



some dim bulb goes Ting! in my head.

me: omg. OMG. come on. lets get out of here...

A: what? what happened? why??

me: come on. < half dragging her away, pulling on her sleeve > this isn't anywhere you want to be. lets go.


me: shhh shhhh shhhhhh. they're 'drag queens' < voice dropped to a whispher. going sotto voice mode >

A: dr-a-g qu-ee-n. WHAT'S A DRAG QUEEN???

me: shhh shhhhh shhhhhhhh. not so loud. they're men dressed as women.

A: but why?? why would they want to do that?? < she lowers her voice in response to my frantic shushing >

me: i don't know. its a thing. a whole sub culture thing. u know.. drag queens. singin shows. bars. ppl drinking. lets get out of here.

A: i don't think that's it. you've probably misunderstood. see there? that sign says 'fe-male im-per-son-ators' what does THAT mean??

me: shhhhhhh its that exactly. < some quick explaining. men dress as women. yada yada yada >

A: you mean like 50-50?

me: < groan > no no nooooo.

quick 30 second briefing on drag queens and cross dressers and transgenders and other
... ppl....

A: so there's those ppl doing a strip show??

me: WAT? where did you see THAT sign?? eeeew who wants to see men dressed as women, stripping?? eeeew where does it say they have a strip show??

she shows the sign

me: OMG is this D____'s?? i've heard of this place!! QL's friends wanted to come here for her b'day for a surprise party!! omg this is like a male strip club on sat evenings.

A: oh... so that's prob it. mebe sat evenings they have those shows.

me: ok that's it. lets go.

A: but now i'm curious. i want to go in and see.

me: ....


you want to see? what DO you want to see?? lets come back here with your bf. < incoherent babbling as i try to get her away. by now i'd agree to anything so i cud get OUT of there.. >

A: he won't come. < scoffs > why will he come here..

me: ok ok lets get H. H wud come. let's go.

A: < mollified and reluctantly > ok. that's doable i guess. are you sure we can't just step in to have a look? we can get lemonade. neither of us drink.

me: NO. LET'S GO !! < hotfoot it out of there >

exit scene - 2 nutcases

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