Wednesday, August 29, 2007

tEn rEasONS

I'm just going to document this , coz i see myself sending this to a lot of guys over the next couple of decades...
this is solid gold advice for the guys... girls mebe next time..

so, your not interested. and you don't know how to wriggle out of another fixup.
well don't go around saying anything willy nilly and getting me into trouble.

there are parent certified and non parent certified excuses. the trick is figuring them out and then making sure u give the excuses that don't get ANYONE into trouble..

for some reason parents don't understand incompatibility. they just tell you to work harder.. work harder at what ??? really pissing each other off??? thats working reaal well already ..
but one thing they DO understand is if you tell them the girl is incredibly ugly.
now you have a prob if she's not, coz u obv cant tell them that. they immediately know ur upto something.
but if she's a normal lookin person, or like most of the population, prob has atleast one flaw, then there's ur answer. if its me. well there ya go !! u got ur excellant excuse ready :D

another one which fits all girls(sorry girls :D) is that u can just tell them she's wierd. thats it. nothing more. thats sufficiently vague and also something they cant argue around. its ALSO something they cant tell my mother who in turn will NOT chew me up for being an ass.

so don't tell them stuff like i said i didn't have time (i prob don't)...
actually don't tell them anything i said. thats just gonna come back and bite me in the ass and cause a lot of grief all around, coz then i gotta save my skin and deploy counter attacks :-/

hmm i did say ten reasons didn't i ?

well then ther's
self obsessed
career oriented (most parents hate such girls)
too serious
doesn't have same future plans as me (neither prob has ANY plans but this cud work)
not serious at all ( u gotta use the one which is opp to u for this one to be of any use)
not career oriented enough (??!! not sure if this will fly so mebe we better skip it)
no personality
don't like her. (this is one of the simplest and one of the best. its so vague that no one can say anything against it. though if u have a thinking parent they may ask you to justify it.. then u gotta repeat any of the above)

and u get the idea...
now u understand that NONE of these have to be true. they just have to be convincing.
some of the things u shud NOT be tellin are

she's got a boyfriend ( even if this IS true, dude, ur just gonna have crowshit on ur hands, if not the boyfriend behind u)
she said ______________. (again don't repeat conversations.. its such a turn off guys. u really dont want to turn into a bitch)
she parties too much
she doesnt want to have kids (hey this may be true, but if my mom comes to know i actually said that she WILL have my head)

and etc....

so by now, u shud have some idea how to do this gracefully without sending everyone involved into a panic attack ...
the best way ever is ofcourse, to actually grow a pair of balls and tell the girl herself, instead of her finding out from a 2 AM angry call from her mother.
:-/ {grimace}

1 comment:

  1. Hmm there's stuff I can use here... Ever thought of starting an agony-aunt column? I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who'll be grateful for advice on this topic. Of course, it'll have to be under an assumed name, coz then all the parents will start hunting you... :D