kEep wAitiNG

most of the calls I make home are sad nowadays.

no no not sad as in depressed sad, i meant as in pathetic. i call international to talk to 'family' and this is how it goes.

family: hello ?
me: yeah its me.

family: so when u sending them ?
me: sending what ? wat r u talking bout ?

family: sending the photos. i asked u last time. send the photos of u in a zoriani sari.
me: what ? sari ? where the heck will i find one here. i'm not sending any snaps. forget it. i told u already am not doing it. its an extremely dorky idea.

family: oh i know u will.
me: wat ? i'm saying i won't. what do u mean u know i will ??

family: i just know u will listen and not disappoint us. me who carried u in my womb for 9 months and looked after....
me: yeah yeah i know the drill. but i said i'm not and u can't make me.

family: i'll wait. i've already spoken to a couple of potential 'prospects' i told them i'll get them next week.
me: keep waiting. don't hold ur breath.

family: listen, the family honor is at stake. i already told them. u cant do this to me.
me: u shud have thought of that before agreeing for stuff without informing me.

family: now listen, be reasonable. they were asking for ur contact number. i didnt give that did i ???
me: oh by all means please do. i'd like to take a crack at that guy and see if he's still standing after that. its getting a lil slow over the summer anyways. i need something to entertain myself.

family: hey u cant talk like that.
me: ur right. its ridiculous to waste international calling minutes for this drivel. i'm fine by the way. i'll call again when i forget bout this conversation.

click.

its the same. week after week.
unfortunately i've got goldfish complex. i never remember after a week the disaster of the prev call. and keep calling to repeat it.


ooh here's another one.

ring ring.
me: wtf its 6 in the morn on sat. whos calling me? {pick up} mom?
ur calling ME?? wat is it ?
mom: u need to shape up.

me: huh wat ? {still groggy}
mom: i know u become a total slob when ur studying. u care for nothing else. listen lady ur not doing a phd. uve become a slob. i heard from obnoxious aunt. she told me everything. U R NOT CONTINUIING ur phd. complete ur degree and get back here.

me: huh wat ?
mom: u heard me.

me: u called me international to remind me to comb my hair??
mom: not only that. u have to ..... beep...beeep (censored coz not suitable for other audiences)

me: ARE U NUTS ?? i work 2 jobs here and a project. U called ME international for THIS ???? Ur crazy.
mom: i don't care what u say, I think .....

me: watever goodbye. click.

snoooz.

hey uts saturday. and 6 in the morning. i'm most def not a morning person.