mUsT hAve lOve, aPparEnTLy

during my college yrs, one of the biggest problems i had, was the lack of idols.
or celeb crushes as i called them. watever.

so there were the four of us.
A, N, SJ and me. we stayed together.

[ actually in class, we were a bunch of whacked out 15. the only way we landed up together was no one else would talk to any of us. so basically our wierdness brought us together... but thats another story. aaaah the good old days. ]

but in the hostel or paying guest house. it was just the 4 of us. and each had a major idol crush which she wud die for. i mean literally.
A had tendulker. SJ had ...ummm wait i have it. aaha. Rahul dravid.
N had her latest non celeb crush [ some unfortunate senior ]. but since she stayed awake planning her wedding to each one of them and behaving in strange stalkerish ways, i think its better she DIDN'T have a celeb crush per se.
i had no one.

so they spent hours cross examining me to find out if i was keeping secrets. [ ya right, i cudnt keep a secret, if YOUR life depended on it ] and they spent hours explaining to me why i shud like THEIR particular idols too. [ thnx, but no thnx. i'll pass ]
sorry i just wasn't going to hang up 3 posters over my bed and dream of marrying that celeb. [ ppl wake up! their like OLD. ugh! ]
but i cud see this was driving them nuts.....
"but u gotta HAVE SOMEONE" [ ok ok calm down. don't hyperventillate! calm down willya?? leggo of my leg!! ]

and then one day R [ one of the 15 ppl. and a guy ] suggests that mebe i'm a ahem.. u know... one-who-drives-on-the-other-side.

sigh.
no i wasn't dude. [ just coz i never had a crush on you or your dumbass comrades.... hmmmph ]

but to end the discussion and to kill all rumors i finally thot through all the movies i had seen and decided i actually did like someone.
actually there was a choice
Val Kilmer in The Saint. and Spock of Star Trek. which resulted in

"why Spock??!!"
"he's very logical. like a computer!!" [ oooh cool. warning - geekiness alert ]
"but he's ugly!!"
"what? now looks are a criteria. u like TENDULKER. he's looks like a horse's ASS"
< offended silence in the room. i realize my mistake and slowly pile up pillows around myself. A has been known to throw scissors at ppl who insult her idol >
"Spock is no gud" [ valiant effort by SJ to change focus ]
"oh ok fine. i'll have val kilmer then" [ can i go now? i'm hungry ]

so that made A and N very happy, and they spent the next few days teasing me about my new crush/love-o-mine [ some ribbing that i withstood for the sake of potential future peace of mind.. ]

and the next time Top Gun played on TV, they called me out.

"hey!! look its ur boyfriend on TV"
"eh what? ohh its him.. no no he looks like a complete doofus in this"

appalled silence.

"hey he's ur celeb crush. u can't say such things. he;s like the one you loooove" [ i have committeed the sin of betraying my celeb crush ]
"i can't? ok then let me be more clear. i like the CHARACTER in The Saint. THAT'S my crush. i wudn't like die to meet val Kilmer himself. the dude himself is an alcoholic father of 3 [ thats right i did some research ] and he's OLD. why the heck wud i want him as a boyfriend or my love or watever. sheesh."

appalled silence.

"so wat ur saying is u WUDN'T go all eeeek everytime u see val kilmer on tv or u WUDN'T get offended if i said tendulker is way cooler than kilmer anyday?"
"ummm no. well i might go eeeeeks if i saw kilmer on the Saint [ as a concession to ur disappointed selves ] but tendulker being cooler than kilmer is just plain ridiculous."
"u take that back" [ fan #1, A, up in arms as i insulted her idol #1 ]
< run. Spock. run >

disclaimer: all of this is actually true and really happened.