hOUse qUoTes

some House quotes that i Lo-oo-oove.

man , i just lo-oo-oove House. no no not in that way! in a totally he-is-my-god way :P

On People -
"Everybody Lies"
"Humanity is overrated"
"Reality is almost always wrong"
"People like talking about people. Makes us feel superior. Makes us feel in control. And sometimes, for some people, knowing some things makes them care." "
"It's one of the great tragedies of life — something always changes."
"I was never that great at math, but next to nothing is higher than nothing, right?"
"Occam's Razor. The simplest explanation is almost always somebody screwed up."
"Never trust doctors."
"Idiopathic, from the Latin meaning we're idiots cause we can't figure out what's causing it."
"Tragedies happen."
"I know you're friends with her, but there is a code. Bros before hos, man."
"Do you notice how all the self-sacrificing women in history; Joan of Arc, Mother Theresa, can't think of any others; they all die alone. The men, on the other hand, get so much fuzz, it's crazy."



On diagnosis
"It does tell us something. Though I have no idea what."
"The eyes can mislead, the smile can lie, but the shoes always tell the truth."
"You know what's worse than useless? Useless and oblivious."
"If her DNA was off by one percentage point she'd be a dolphin."
"Welcome to the end of the thought process."
"You've lost perspective, Cuddy. You've stopped looking at this as a doctor. You're acting like someone who shoved somebody off their roof. You want to make things right? Too bad. Nothing's ever right."
"New is good. Because old ended in death."
"You know how they say, "you can't live without love"? Well, oxygen is even more important."
"Do I have to spell it out for you? Pheochromocytoma. Actually, I'm not sure how you spell it."
"No lesions, no aneurysms. Ironically, the mind of a killer looks completely normal."
"Do I have to spell it out for you? Pheochromocytoma. Actually, I'm not sure how you spell it."
House: "Well, I don't want to say anything bad about another doctor, especially a useless drunk."
Cuddy: "You're addicted to pain pills."
House: "But I'm not useless."


Misc
"I'm happy to report that we are now so in sync, we're actually wearing each other's underwear."
"...the fact that the sexual pleasure center of your cerebral cortex has been over-stimulated by spirochetes is a poor basis for a relationship. Learned that one the hard way."
"And humility is an important quality. Especially if you're wrong a lot.... Of course, when you're right, self-doubt doesn't help anybody, does it?"
"There's an evolutionary imperative why we give a crap about our family and friends. And there's an evolutionary imperative why we don't give a crap about anybody else. If we loved all people indiscriminately, we couldn't function."
"If you can fake sincerity, you can fake pretty much anything."
"What usually happens when you poke something with a stick? It pokes back."
"In this universe effect follows cause. I've complained about it but—" "
"Arrogance has to be earned."
"Saying there appears to be some clotting is like saying there's a traffic jam ahead. Is it a ten-car pile up, or just a really slow bus in the center lane? And if it is a bus, is that bus thrombotic or embolic? I think I pushed the metaphor too far."

House vs God
Boyd: "God says you look for excuses to be alone."
House: "See, that is exactly the kind of brilliance that sounds deep, but you could say it about any person who doesn't pine for the social approval of everyone he meets - which you were cleverly able to deduce about me by not being a moron. Next time, tell God to be more specific."

House: "You know it's all nice when people start to dig these holes, but then they start to live in these holes and get angry when someone pushes dirt into those holes. Come out of your holes people!!!"

Patient: "The nurses talk about you a lot."
House: "Don't believe them. I keep a sock in my pants."

House: "Gotta go-building full of sick people. If I can hurry, maybe I can avoid them."

Chase: "The honor of working for you is not worth a felony charge."

House: "You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic."

Chase: "You're gonna talk to a patient?"
House: "God talks to him. It'd be arrogant of me to assume that I'm better than God."

House: "Isn't it interesting... religious behavior is so close to being crazy that we can't tell them apart."

Wilson: "And that's why religious belief annoys you. Because if the universe operates by abstract rules you can learn them, you can protect yourself. If a Supreme Being exists he can squash you any time he wants."
House: "He knows where I am."

Wilson: "Can this wait five minutes?"
House: "Is she dying?"
Wilson: "Yes."
House: "Before the end of this consult?"
Wilson: "They could build monuments to your self-centeredness."

House: "They could build monuments to your self-centeredness."
Wilson: "And you're worried about trademark infringement?"
House: "Then he passes on advice from God so he can watch them jump. It's a power trip."
Wilson: "Ah, and there the similarities end."

Wilson: "House! Why the hell did you let an unstable patient wander the hallways?!?"
House: "His leash broke."

House: "So, you're a faith healer. Or is that a pejorative? Do you prefer something like "divine health management"?"

ok u have to read the rest here, there are just too many !!!

House quotes by episode