wHaT yOU LeaRn - 2

ok the other side of the coin
a kind of handy guide about guys for girls.





disclaimer : don't rip my throat out. this was dictated by delilah.

1. guys like shiny stuff too. yes yes, don't be put off by that 'omg u shop too much crap'. look at their gadgets, their cars, their secret stash of porn. it'll all be high tech. and besides, their shiny stuff ALWAYS costs more.

2. another thing guys love more than life itself. food. no no, you have NO idea. its like the shiny stuff thing for gals. you ever want to them wash the windows? promise to cook them your special souffle or truffle or chicken shit thing or watever and it WILL be done. warning: make sure none of the drool hits the carpet.

3. guys DON'T remember. mostly they don't care either. this pretty much applies to everything as long as it has no bearings on their sports or shiny stuff. which means no they don't remember when was the last time you wore that mag blue dress. or why today is such a special day. or thats its your 6 month anniversary of that thing. they also don't remember its your cousin's sister-in-law's nephew's birthday today. the (dis)advantage is they don't remember taht you guys are fighting either.

4. guys are not listening. they probably hear every third word anyways. and THAT ties in directly to prev point. you know when u start talking about how bitchy the girl in your office is and how she hurt your feelings by sneaking behind your back....?? and then theyr nodding at u and looking calm. yup thats them not listening. if they were, they'd be hitting their head against the wall NOT looking calmly or smiling at u peacefully.

5. guys love crap/trash talk. i actually read an article about this. for some strange reason they like jokes about crap. [ no i mean literally ] and they think there shud be a prize for burping the loudest?? oh pls i rem now. it said after sex, crap was like the most popular topic of jokes for guys. they also love gory movies and fighting and blood and gore and talk about blood and gore. and heads and arms being blown apart.... eeeeeeeee

6. guys GOSSIP too. and they do annoying stuff like ranking the girls they know. and they bitch and moan about their ex-gf's , bosses, etc etc

7. most guys HATE HATE window shopping. for clothes. you want to punish a guy :P take him clothes window shopping with you. thats like ONE area where girls have more stamina anyday. i've seen grown men broken and defeated after all day marathons of shopping. they also buy stuff they need right Now. as opposed to females who buy stuff coz its on sale.

8. guys don't DO subtle. they don't DO hints. you want to make a point, you have to smack them in the head with it. don't sulk coz he didnt automatically look into your eyes and guess whats wrong. thats BS. get a blowhorn/foghorn watever - 'hey dumbass, we're in a relationship'. if your dropping vague hints and hoping for that silver necklace for xmas, you can just forget it. just take his wallet and buy it yourself. you'll save everyone a truckload of pain :P

9. most guys are color blind. they don't know and they don't care about lavender and magenta. ur lucky if they know that orange is a seperate color. and they can id the diff primary colors.

10. guys hate changing their 'style'. you can fill their wardrobe to oveflowing. buy them a gazillion shirts. but they'll have their favourite set of 10. and till it rips [ sometimes even after that ] they'll circulate the fav-10. if ur eyes start bleeding coz of it and u try to burn some of their shirts, they will go out and find an exact replica or something close to replace the lost one.

if i'm terribly of the mark... hey! what do i know? i'm not a dude. and besides this IS a part fiction blog.. don't get ur panties in a wad!!

^_^