fOnd MemORieS aNd beAtiNGs

its hard to believe, that till the age of... i dunno. some age when i was still a kid. a lot of ppl thought i was a retard child. i think it had something to do with the way i stared into space all the time. and the way i would just trail off in mid conversation to stare at ... them?space?who knows?? i was a wierd kid... and its all very hazy.

but i DO remember why i did such stuff.

1. people usually talked to me as if i was an idiot moron.
you know the totally annoying child talk? HEY. i'm 8 not 3. stop doing the baby talk. you look AND sound like a fool. but that wasn't the problem. the problem was that i didn't understand that correcting faults was only allowed when adults did it to kids, not the other way around. no one told me i couldn't really go around telling adults they were stupid. well, actually no one told me why i cudn't.

2. i would realize mid conversation that i was in serious danger.
"ur lucky. childhood is the best days of your life.."
"really? you seem to be having a pretty sweet deal going on yourself. you don't have anyone telling you what to eat, what to wear, when to sleep, who to talk to, what to talk about, when to play, what to play, what to read..."
"ha ha your so cute. you don't know anything about the adult world. and besides your mom is an angel."
"oh yeah?? is that what it looks like?? let me tell you exactly...."
"what are you doing?"
< my eyes are glazed over, i've trailed off and am trying my best to do the zombie act coz she's now standing behind me. she walks like a cat, darn it i didnt see her coming... >

1. i was beaten for talking in public. as in my mom wud literally come home after every outing and try to knock some sense into my head the old fashioned way.
the main reason - she had learnt at great cost, that if i opened my big mouth around adults, it was usually to embarrass the hell outa her. there were many MANY occasions, where my mom would be saying this absolutely harmless wee lil white lie and i'd pipe up to say
"but ma, didn't you just say earlier that you thought this auntie laughed like a horse??"
"ha ha, what are you saying. thats not true." < making frantic gestures for me to zip it. >
"ya when we were getting ready to come to this party. thats when u said..."
"ha ha, pls excuse my daughter. she's retarded"

"my dauughter thinks your absolutely marvelous. very talented"
"i never said that" < guess who didn't get desert that night >
"ha ha, pls excuse my daughter she's very forgetful"

"we can't come this thursday coz my daughter has a test"
"that was last week, i don't have anything this week. but this house smells funny"
"ha ha, pls excuse my daughter, she's dead meat"

oh i wasn't stupid. did you think i didn't know?? obviously, i had poor impulse control, but there was another reason too.
oh come on u must have figured it out.
oh ok i'll give ya a hint.
do you know how to spell R-E-V-E-N-G-E ??
rofl

one thing my mom never got was why the heck i blurted out stuff in front of her friends even though she tried to train me otherwise. what she also didnt get was that i hold a mean mean grudge. but i had to be careful about it u know. so i spent most of the time silent as a tomb coz i was never ever allowed to talk in public. but sometimes when the time was right. and i'd think it was worth the drubbing i'd blurt out the truth. heyy i never lied. even i had standards!!

also my mom was from the old school. u know kids shud be seen not heard style. so she REALLY made sure i understood, that i was as good as dead if i so much as peeped when we were out. so in the end mebe thats why a lot of ppl thought i was a retard. kid never speaks up , except to put her foot in her mouth and get a good solid beating.

i remember this one time. i said something really stupid. and my mom froze me on the spot with an icy look. calmly turned towards our guests, excused herself and me, < all the while smiling > , took me inside and gave me the beating of my life. man i can no longer remember what i said, but am sure it was a beaut!!

and THATS why when i got into engineering, ppl were like.... she passed her tenth? really? in the first attempt?? oh wow we thot she'd never finish high school.

lol
aaaah the good days... sigh.... sometime i miss my mom.. :D