wHo arE wE kiDdiNG?

happy new year guys.
yeah its a very sober and wary greeting. i am generally very suspicious of new beginnings. how do you know its gonna be good?? it already promises to be a whopping pain in the ass for me.

manager: tell me what you achieved the last couple of months.
me: more than 250 posts in my blog?? < wince >

uncle: this year you HAVE to make it happen.
me: ummm sounds like a gene modification project. what am i making happen.
uncle: don't crack jokes missy, this is serious. you have to make a plan. tell me what your life goals are. for example my wife's were to have kids before 30.
me: ummm to see the whole world before i die and to build a huge library.
uncle: what about kids.
me: what about them?
uncle: < frustated now > you know. the biological clock. tick tock. we had this discussion last time.
me: [ yes i very painfully remember. can't we move on?? ] sigh. i plan to adopt if i miss the boat??
< appalled silence >

"ok thats it, i'm creating a profile in your name... hmm lets see....'
"name. ok."
"age. ok."
"complexion... wats your complexion? heyy wife what's her complexion. ok fair. stop cringing and squirming. everyone has to do this. what do you mean you feel like throwing up. you've only seen the register form yet. what do you mean? you feel like a cabbage in a vendor stall... bosh thats nonsense. sit still."
"hmmm ok.. so far so gud"
..
..
"ok here we go, describe yourself." < looking at me > "well go ahead"
< i'm really, REALLy wishing i'd get struck by a lightning bolt >
"i dunno. just fill anything. can i go now? the avatar cartoons are coming up..."
"gud lord!! cartoons???, why can't you focus on something else besides books and cartoons"
"but its season THREE!! and a very good battle scene..." < me hopelessly trying to change the subject and distract him from that register form >

anyways the end of that story is that i convinced him i'd complete it in portland and to let that one go. though i managed to neutalize one id, another always keeps popping up. i feel like i'm playing whack-a-mole here. hmmmph. oh well u can't really cry over stuff u can't change...
:-/

mother: u better get married this year, else i'm off to kashi.
me: there's a better chance i'd go to kashi than you. mebe i shud rethink...
mother: oh god, don't start THAT again. why don't we wait for another 6 months.