sOmE crAZY niNjA sKiLLs

"hi i'd like to rent a car"
"SURE. no problem. here .................
............. all the legal stuff...............
.......all the billing stuff..........WHAT i'm paying 200 dollars for a weekend???.......oh billing error. ok ................
.......checking car stuff........ [hey alrite alrite point the way back and gimme the car already. and let me go before i forget , first left , then right , then left. got that]

okiy now... got the car. start the engine. check the mirrors and lights. alritey. check the gear stick thingy. and ok wait someone next to you so let them pull out first. alright. lets go..... wooops forgot seat belt. ok wear the belt. now wat did she say? turn right out of the lot?? ooh crud there's a car waiting to get in. i can't turn right. it looks dangerous, let me turn left. i can come back to this road somehow.
ok now let me turn left. hmm road looks strange. oh here's a dead end. ok the guy in front of me is turning left. left looks reasonable. i should totally turn left. my instincts tell me to turn left, so that's what i will do.

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did that sign just say 'thank you for visiting hillsboro, please visit again. population 89,986???????????

i'm going out of HILLSBORO in the FIRST FIVE MINUTES???!!!???

wait. i'm on a HIGHWAY?? HOW DID I GET ON A HIGHWAY. ok don't panic. you can't take a uturn on a highway. i think i read that somewhere.

hmm i need to turn right. so i can take a uturn. hey here's a sign. golf course. sure.... why not.
ok let me go. i need to get out of creepy cornfield areas. and ok uturn back to the road. now rem not to turn right again. we'll be right where we started. ok
back on this road.
i think now i'm in the right direction. hey. HEY MISTER. get out from behind me your making me nervous.

ok straight on for 6 miles. turn left and home. hey wait i got mapquest directions somewhere....
ok. hmm stay on the middle lane.

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hmm this area looks so different. like i've never seen it before. but that's not right. it should be familliar. i've come by this road for the last 3 months to... oh there it is!! my office. yeah see. i told you this road should look familiar. [ strangely it doesn't ]
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ok let me lane change to the right. coz i need to turn right....

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wait why did i do that?? i have to go left. not right. its left. dow!
ok lane change back. hmm which lane do i stay in? i'll follow the guy in front of me. maybe hes going where i am. why are there so many cars on the road??? hey MISTER. either speed up or slow down. ur making me nervous driving along my side. i've got a HUGE car. i'd crush you like a bug. [ thadump ] there see??? i almost drove into your lane.... get away... yeah that's better...
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now. home SHOULD BE here somewhere. john olsen road. hmm that's not what it says in mapquest. but what the heck. i can't go straight coz i'm in this lane. let me take a left. coz that's what my instincts say. [ the last time i listened to my instincts..... ]
hey!! what do you know. this is TOTALLY the right road. now all i have to do is turn a left and .... wooops i should have gone right. this is the apartment complex OPPOSITE to mine. can i just stop and think for a while. i really want to take a break from driving. like just rest my brain for a while... hey lady! get out from behind me. your making me nervous.
ok she's making a left, let me make a right so i can get away from her.....
hey what do you know. i came to the exit. ok now get out. look around. take that right and turn into your.. woops sorry lady. forgot to sign. and i'm in.

YES!

phew. now how do i go home from here? like all these crazy lefts and rights....
hmm its been 3 months. i've been coming home this way... ok let my senses take over.
right. left. car behind me. so another right to get away from him. oh crud he followed me. no no go away from me. let me think. ok straight. hey i think i know this building. hey ... hey.. HEY there's my home !!
ok

pause.

GOOD LORD HEAVENS ABOVE.

PARKING!!!!