riGHt siDe of ThE roAd

me trying to buy a car ?

"hello"
"hi how can i help you today"

"ummmm actually ... ummm i saw this ad for a car on this website. and i got this number from there. its a mini cooper. and ummmm... i just got my license and this is the first time i'm doing this.... ummm. and i've never done anything like this before .. so basically.... have i called the right number? ummm.....so i want to.... i mean i was thinking of buying a car"

pause
< speaking very very slowly >
"all....right"
"ummm so can i come over on saturday to see the car? and ummmm i wanted to know the details of it. i just got my license yesterday"

pause
"oo---kay. very good. yes we are open on saturday. you can come over. we still have the car by the way"
"oh good thats good. so i'll call you back then."

pause
"ookay then. bye!" [ wierdo. why did she even call? ]

me trying to give my drivers test ?

"ok please take a right" [ clueless instructor]
"ok. that means a lane change, i can do this. signal , check blindspot, move. smooth as butter" [ muttering to myself ]
"ok now don't panic. You are all right, but keep a watch out for that guy"
"huh?? what?" [ why did you say that?? now i'm already panicking... what am i supposed to look out for?? < turning my head and looking both ways > ]
"OMG that guy is in the WRONG lane and on a collision course with oncoming traffic. OMG WHAT IS THAT GUY DOING" [ did she Just tell me NOT to panic?? ]

me telling people that i passed my driving test ?

-"look out people , QoD is now on the road"
-"lord help us all" [ muttering and walking away ]
-"ha ha ha ha ha ha ha" [ uncontrollable laughter ]
-"lord save the people in your town"
-"gud lord. i've seen the way you drove your bike! only god can save your townspeople now"
"heyy what do u mean"
"you drove like you owned the road, and that was when you drove a tiny kinetic bike. imagine if someone actually hands you a car" - R [ heyy R!! how are ya?? ]
-"they gave YOU a license? ha ha ha ha ha. who the heck took your driving test??"
-"oh thanks for letting me know. i'll keep a watch out for you and stay as far away from you as possible."
-"get a 800 dollar car. that way if you wreck it, then you can just walk away" - A :) [ i love optimistic ppl ]