toO mAnY cOmPLaiNts

so you think i crib too much ?

well u wud too, if you were in my position...

"hi ma, whats it.. i got class now in a while"
"nothing much. how r things."
"things are fine..." {am on my gaurd now.. its 5 in the morning in india and there better be a gud reason for this call}

"how r talks with that guy ??"
"what talks? oh that.. oh we're ahead of schedule...."
"you are" {all excited}
"yeah sure...we might even come up with a new plan to fight global warming BEFORE Nov end." {i say dryly}
"ohhhhh stop acting too smart. am sure ur doing the same with him also.... i was just thinking bout u two...he's sooo cute. i feel like he's my son.
infact i wish he cud be my son in law, but he's too good for you..."
"whoa !! back up a minute.. whats that again ???" {i had tuned out in 2. 67 sec and was rudely woken up..}
"if thats what you think, why the heck did u ask me to talk to him in the first place???"
"becoz i really want him as a son-in-law"

"waaaaaaat???? u must be crazy.. " {i'm temporarily speechless...she's obviously lost it.. poor woman...}
"yeah, see if u can get him to say yes. i think u shud lose bout 20 pounds before you guys meet. try not to eat" { notice its not try not to eat TOO MUCH... its try not to eat}

"WHAT? that has to be the worst advice ever !! wat do u mean try not to eat..." {this is getting so ridiculous its actually funny.. though am THIS close to losing my temper}
" and wat do u mean GET him to say yes???? am i supposed to knock him on the head and hypnotize him or something????"
"I mean, why dont u NOT eat for bout a week or 2. am sure u'll lose those pounds in no time. "
"Ofcourse you are."
"am sure u can convince him... u should flirt a little.... "
"Thats RIDICULOUS.. your TELLIN me to do stuff like that ??? aaaaaaaaaaak !!!! eeeeeew i dont want to talk bout this with YOU !"
"btw you should be careful.. he's a good judge of character..."
{i interrupt ... by now i'm shouting.. which means i'm hopelessly not getting through to her...}
"WHAT the heck is that supposed to mean.. i have a perfectly fine character even if someone wanted to judge it... why the heck are u askin me to be CAREFUL?? infact its gud if ppl judge properly. and besides what about me judging characters.. doesnt that count?????"
" no no do u always have to get so touchy.. i just meant , you shud speak sense....{wat? now i dont speak sense anymore??} , and u should think before you speak..{ and i dont think before i speak anymore??? can this conversation GET any worse???}....
{she drones on and on...}

"ok so let me get this straight. you dont want me to talk what i think. you dont want me to look the way i am... are you sure u dont want to exchange me for someone else, so that u can get him as your son in law???? are u INSANE ??? I got class !!"

click

aah well , guess this counts as the crazy of the day....