3 riNgED CiRcUS

my sundays...

ring ...
me: hello ?
hello .. hey this is ur mother
me: uh ok. wassup ? ( i am wary ...why the isd?? this can't be gud ...)
her: actually had to tell you something. (uh oh, doesnt sound gud at all)
me: bout what ?
her: ther's this guy. (isn't there ALWAYS ??? sigh..)

me: i thought u said u wudn't talk bout this till my sem ended. u know its distracting to deal with this.
her: yes but this is the absolute last. i promise. i didnt do ANYTHING.. just landed on my lap.. yada yada yada.
me: yes last one. thats wat u said for the last 3 guys u made me talk to.
her: no no this is absolute last. i promise.
me: fine wat do u want me to do now?
her: very little. u just have to lose 30 pounds in the next 10 days and when he emails, don't talk too much. don't say anything that will be considered cheeky and only answer to whatever he asks
(its at this point in the conversation that i regrettably lose my cool and explode )
what the &^%^&$$#*&Y *&^^$^%&* , what do u &^%^*&Y think of yourselves ???
absolutely not. i got class. and i'm not going this much out of my way.

now the woman starts wailing... bout how ungrateful i am..
next follows an hour of me being extremely pissed and she trying to convince me that i'm a no gud cretin who is duty bound to all my previous generations..

me: awright awright, i cant take this anymore. is the guy atleast worth all this pain ??
her: ofcourse he's an absolute angel..
me: wait a sec, and have u considered that most consider me THE devils spawn ?? no offense to you ofcourse..
her: none taken. but thats why i'm asking you to make this work. dont let on bout who u really are...

me: wazzaaaat???? this has the most fool idea u ever had. call me when u come to your senses. and for what its worth mebe i shud just drop in a word with that poor sod warning him against ppl like you !
her: why r u like THIS??? if u continue like this you will die ALONE... ( a long wail)..
me: thats not such a bad idea if everyone will promise to leave me alone...
her: but u wont have children ... (even longer wail.. )
me: lady i wudnt have them EVEN if i was married. pesky lot , all of them..
her: whyyyyyy r u like THIS. heyy ram.. what have i done to deserve such an ungrateful child.. (goes on for a while. i'll spare u the serpent child speech)
me: ok ok watever. quit whining. i'll do anything to make those loud pitched noises stop. what do u want me to do? talk to that chappie??? ok fine. let me at him.
her: oh ur an angel! i knew u'd listen. ( obv her moods change faster than u can say oprah.. i need to check her meds) .. but be sure not to scare him. ( she hasn't caught on that i asked her to let me at him. which obv means i intend to.. well u know..)
me: ha! obviously. no sane person cud withstand that much whining and nagging anyways and i cant promise that. can i go back to sleep now ?
her: ofcourse, just u wait. i have a gud feeling bout this.
me: don't u always ?? thats exactly what you said bout the last 2 guys too... or was that 3..
her: that was different. they didnt seem right..
me: funny how insistent you were that they were each THE ONE.
her: don't argue so much. u know how ppl don't like that. i wish u'd....
me: ok ok. quit it...

click.

its been 3 weeks, and i'm still sleeping peacefully. the angelic cherub has never bothered to contact and SHE has forgotten all bout it....

another sunday...

ring..
me: hello ?
her: hey , its ur mother. i got some news for u..
oh gr8 hear we go again ....groan..