Thursday, September 6, 2007

aN oLD stORy rEToLd

this was an old old mail back in the day when i was working and had too much time on my hands.. kinda like now...

********************
(yawn) am beat ....trainin..office...


hey vd forget bout the whole bottom thing ...
it was the whole baby's pictures thingy.... let me explain...

sorry N... but u gotta understand...
it all started this way...

my landlady (an old woman of 65..) had a visitor from mars !!
her grandaughter of 3 ... now ,wen the rest of the general population like N, V,A,etc,etc wud say ooooooh loooook how cute at the site of the little darlin....
warning bells were ringin in my head ....coz she was givin me these wierd sidelong glances...(no i AM NOT paranoid ppl)

well ok i thot how much harm can a 3 year old do...i'l just stay out of her way....she was there for 5 days where i managed to avoid her for 4. but one day....

the girl was cryin for bangles,chain, anything etc,etc everyday and that day her grandma i.e my landlady went n got her one ... a BLOODY 8 GRAND GOLD CHAIN....man talk bout doting grandma's...
plz hark back to u'r childhood days and tell me if u EVER got gold to stop cryin??

anyone ?? ever??? i remember being spanked when i asked for a new eraser...

nyway the 'cute lil one' is wearin it the whole day and soon as i come from office (at 9:30)...i plonk down on the sofa..and she scrambles on my lap...
dat's not so bad u say..[(snort) wat do u know?] ...well it wudn't be except she started pullin my chain,comparing it with hers for the next 15 min and then she declared mine was better n she wanted it !!!!!
i told her i cudn't remove it...so she started examining my earing from all angles !!!
now i was reaaaly in trouble as even she cud tell that i have easily removable earings...

let me say i have never shown greater self restraint in my life ...coz while i was smiling desperately..all i wanted to do .......was thro the critter off me and run screaming for my life :-/

ok then her mom comes to feed her and stuffs her mouth with rice and now i'm terrified she's gonna drool over me ,so i try to get her to straighten up.
her grandma tells her to get off me n eat in a decent manner like civilized people do and guess wat the "cute" girl does...
she sprays rice all over her grandma's face...

aaaaaaaaaaak !!

the blood drained from my face as i watched in horror, mentally picturing the same fate while her mom laughed..laughed !! (choke)

then she looks at me with a sweet smile (shudder) and digs into her nose.. now guys as she was still sittin on my lap ..i thot (very foolishly i can add) that i shud say somethin...so i told her that was not a very nice thing to do......(i SWEAR dat's all i told her) (sniff)
and she tries to wipe her hands on my face !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(ugh)

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak !!!!

i'm ashamed to admit dat's wen all courage left me and i just got up and RAN... i think i nearly flung her towards a nearby wall.

now i have nightmares......
am too emotional to continue but now u understand don't u....why i detest kids so much....

i have sworn the next time i see a kid maybe i'll pinch it hard wen no one's lookin ...maybe then they'll stay away from me !!!


and 4 all those who didn't care at all either way bout d whole thing
i solemnly hope u never have kids such as these ..ugh..scary thot...i'm never comin to u'r house if u do...

2 comments:

  1. So now I know why you stay up all night ... nightmares, eh?? :-D Poor you!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh it was a looooong time ago.. now i have worse fears to keep me awake ! for example what if i land up with such a kid !!!

    ReplyDelete