iF yOu haVEn'T heArD

so...
watsup..

looks like my creative spell has passed. u noticed it too???
ever since a certain someone landed on this continent say.. oh i dunno.. like 1.5 months ago???
i haven't been writing so much??

coz u know..office has been busy. and at home, then certain ppl insist on reading this and then u know... uhhhh.. like THAT's not happening... not like when i'm still alive .. and kicking... i mean its not like i'm 7 again and i write on the first page of my journal.. my personal journal mind you.. that 'WHOEVER READS THIS IS A DOG'
and yet ... this certain someone [ how pesky ] person will read it. and since i knew that this someone would read it, i spent the next 40 pages writing how bad this person was and how much like a witch in wizard of Oz and cruella from the little mermaid cartoon.. and so on.. but its not like those days u know..
and this time i got passwords and stuff... to protect myself :D

but other than that, uve noticed it too?? huh. the lack of posts these couple of months? well partly its coz its summer. and partly its coz i've been running around a lot.

ooooh did i tell you how awesome crater lake was??? ooooh it was AWESOME.
and so was the top of multnomah falls. u shud def go there if ur ever in this part of town!!

For that hour after lunch when you're sleepy and bored

oh buck up. winter is almost here. and the blog will be up and running full speed again very soon, when this certain someone leaves on the ... well lets just say very soon. and soon the insanity that is the wedding will start.. and soon you'll end up hearing all about how i have to wear freaky head gear on a day that now looks to be not a day for me at all.....

oh btw reminder to self. gotta give an Ankur 3 min talk tomoro. at this fund raiser.

LosiNG yOuRseLf

i'll admit. i've lost a lot of things. phones, watches, spectacles, myself.
now dang it. i've gone and done it. i've lost my mother.

well so here's the thing. we were supposed to go on a walk see?
and she wanted to walk slow. meander almost and i wanted to test my new awesome seinheiser headphones. see?
and so we agreed. we agreed that in some time i'd meet her near this bench.
and we went in opp directions.

and an hour later, i come back and ofcourse she's not there. and i'm like yeah... i'll just wait here and she'll be along any second. and yet she's not here. so i think.. hmm mebe if i follow the path she took, i'll find her. and i go.. and i keep going and i complete her mile and by now i'm exhausted and i'm thinking to myself. gosh i know, just know where she is, she's gone back home and its getting dark and i daren't go back without her.. and i wonder if i should be calling 911... hmmm and i wonder if she's lost and wandering around by herself..hey wait isn't that her out there?? coming from my house???
i KNEW IT. she HAD gone home and was EATING HER DINNER!!

and i've been wandering around for the last 45 minutes searching for her !!
:O

tO LiSten iS sAcriLedGe

some ppl just don't know how to keep secrets. now wait. that's a bit harsh.... i mean they don't know how to shut up... i mean.. ok here's wat i really mean.

so its a sad sad day when i got to listen to ... ahem ... tips from my mother on how to spice my ... ahem ... life. and yet thats precisely wat she insists on doing!!
:O

and if THAT isn't bad enough, now i gotta listen to hearsay bout the lovey dovey phone conversations, my neighbor's daughter has with her fiance. apparently i need to learn a lot!! :O
now i don't understand how my mom even KNOWS wat that girl talks with her fiance. lets call him F.

so S talks with F and comes and tells her mom everything. and i mean EVERYTHING. and this mom picks and choses the less racy stuff and tells my mother. who finds it hilarious to share it with ME and watch my face slowly turn an interesting shade of puce or purple, depending on the time of the day.

"oh haha, do you know wat S says to her F everyday? u shud do the same... let me give you a few tips on what you should be doing ..."

me: " oh good lord. heavens above. my ears. my poor ears. they're gonna explode. what have i done to deserve this? to listen to such stuff from my own mother..." [ me getting a lil over dramatic, hoping she'll stop. nope. no such luck ]

"oh u HAve to listen to this. apparenlty he's even suggesting that they elope! can u imagine. he must have got the itch" < her laughing hysterically at my expression >

me: "aaaaaargh my poor ears. my pooor brain."

"ohhh haha, see the moon. its so nice. do you feel romantic coz of the moon. u shud call him up and talk romantic stuff. do u already do that? wat do u say? why don't u tell me, i'll tell u if ur doing it right"

"!!??? are.... u......sputter..... sputter..... INSANE!! leave me alone. that's the last thing i need. a bunch of middle aged women in mlore, sitting around and discussing they're daughter's love lives and the conversations they have with theire fiances or husbands or anything!!!"
[ aaaaaaargh i need my noise isolation headphones ... like 10 minutes ag... aaaah blessed silence ]

i look at her , she's still saying something. but now these headphones are great!!! mebe i can like permanently fix them to my brain or something. i smile at her. nod show her a thumbs up and walk away. whistling merrily.

man! i shud have thought of this sooner !!!

ps: S. STOP TELLING UR MOM EVERY DARN THING U TALK ON THE PHONE WITH UR F. are u crazy!!! have some pride girl. really. the rest if us have zero interest in listening to ur coochie cooing. ugh.

gRumBLing BeE

aaha !! did you know??

at a rate of 1 drop per second, a leaking faucet wastes bout 900 gallons per year.
now extrapolate that information to calculate exactly how much I'M LEAKING.

i'm leaking at the rate of ... 9 litres per day !!
:O

ok ok.. i'm not gonna be leaking ALL day.. pffft. but still... i think i'm entitled to feel sorry for myself ... sniff...

anyways..
after 3 days of ... wait a WEEK of feeling like crap. and after the horrible escapade of the mad b'day bash.. and after sleeping for 26 hours straight all of yest. i finally feel... remotely that is....... human.
hey hey HEY. i know i know. i'm NOT human. we all got THAT part.

but i feel human. isn't that enough?? can't you give me that much also???

got a busy couple of weekends ahead... yes yes
wildwood park was gr8. amazing. the water was freezing cold. yes yes. the person who said the water wud be too cold. foudn that the water was too cold. the person who said naah the water will be fine, stripped and got in and had the time of they're lives.

apparently attitude is everything. and u pretty much decide how much of a wuss u wanna be in life. also apparently all humans are annoying pests.

esp when u've all left for the picnic. everyone is on they're way to wildwood recreation site, welches OR, 2 hours behind schedule and you get this call from the other car, with an annoying pest telling you "heyy are you sure bout where we're going?? aren't we supposed to go to SALEM?? are you sure we [ meaning me ] booked it in the right place???
and then you can spend the next happy hour freaking out.. that mebe you've just booked one spot and paid 60 friggin dollars to boot and then ur taking 20 people to another county !!!

ooh ya. happy days aren't they.

finally turned out , i had booked the right spot and was taking everyone to the right spot. why she thought we were supposed to go to the county in the opp direction is beyond me. why she decided to screw my happiness all of sat, is also currently beyond me.
and why some ppl who are the fussiest and most difficult to please insist that you make their plans and then proceed to happily change everything.. is sooooooooooooooo effing beyond me... it makes my eyes bleed.

right.
right. need to calm down. stress is doing my leaking no good.

neither is ending up with 12 green bell peppers and 6 colored bell peppers.
will someone please tell me WAT THE *&%&!@ i'm supposed to do with 12 large bell peppers, 15 large tomatoes and an entire lettuce head and WAT in the good lord's name was i THINKING when i got so many???

i hate b'days.

i hate humans.

i hate humans who have b'days



ps: weather was gorgeous. forest was gorgeous. if not for the weather and eternal cooking, even the trip wud have been gorgeous.

pRepARatiON mArAthoN

so guess what. we're having an INTERNATIONAL air show. in hillsboro, OR.

dude.. its INTERNATIONAL man... how AWESOME is that !!
>_<

this 2 cent doo hicky town is having this amazingly awesome show :P

I LOVE IT. i'm soooo buying the tickets. actually i can just sit in my office and see it... how cool is THAT !!!

so we're having this BBQ picnic, tomorrow. booked this place and all.. woodland... wooops i mean wildwood picnic/recreation site. one thing is i hope ppl turn up.
another thing is i hope we have fun. another thing is i hope the weather is awesome!

and yet another thing being.... phew too many things.

man my manager is gassing too much man. i kid u not.. wats with all the phrases.. like u need to step up. hit a home run. i mean really wats with all the sports metaphors???
ok ok to be fair to him, ive hardly been working hard. [ just coz i haven't been blogging so often recently... dood i got other things on my mind dood ]
and just coz ive been catching up on my comics collection...
dood.
yeah.. sigh.. i need to work a wee bit mroe..



here's to gr8 weather tomorrow... hic ... tomorrow.

oNe of THosE daYs

if you've been wondering why i've not been blogging... well don't. wonder.
just be thankful you've been spared me ranting and raving about those blooming idiotic moron.. "friends" i have around me.

well hi. yes. yes. am all glad to see you too.


hufff. yes i'm annoyed. and if you were in front of me, i'd bonk you on the head. why? juzt COZ i NEED to bonk someone.

so i went on 2 hikes so far. aaha !! didn't know that did ya? and i went running... ok ok walking [ who am i kidding? ] a couple of times.. last days of summer. gotta catch those last rays of sunshine.

other than that its just A and her gang who've been driving me up the wall. and then the PMS. yes. mother nature is visiting me. and boy do i wanna kick her in the behind. ok she's not yet visiting. she just sent her calling card. oh btw my mum is back this friday. from cali. yes. 14 subway sandwhiches and 2 weeks later i'm ready to have her back and eat awesome idlis. [ obv i'm exaggerating doofus. or... mebe not ] its unfortunate. how the palate gets used to this crappy food and ur going along happy in ur life thinking. oh wow this canteen food is gr8. this sandwhich or this brown rice with stuffed chille is gr8. but then u eat 2 weeks of home cooked meals and then ur like. oh crud this tastes like a horses behind. [ its called a METAPHOR .... or mebe not ]

so a few days ago. A tells me. she , her bf P and H are planning to move downtown so i gotta make some plans about where i'll stay. yes!! finally!! am rid of the crazy energizer bunnies.. ok so by itself this is a gr8 plan. but wait. they wanna go there only for a month. so that they can try it out and see how they like it.

exactly. huh?

and then they're gonna come back and move into a 3 bhk in the suburbs and since i'll be leaving to india anyways in a month after that. [ nov 19th btw which is another madness... ] then i gotta move in with em to save on rent.. and then after i'm married and back in hillsboro i can find a place on my own.

huh?

riiiight. and meanwhile. ive been the personal maid of 2 spoilt kids who refuse to clean up after themselves or throw the trash or vaccum the house.. so ur saying i shud move in with one more like u and become wat? unpaid nanny of the century no wait, this eon??
riiiiight.

uh uh.

then ofcourse its my mum's b'day this week. and since she's obv gonna wait for some insane party, am thinking.. well lets have a picnic. u know. thats not too hard to arrange. i can do it. this is easy. and i'm in my own lil world. la di da searching for parks , right? and stuff. and looking around and am thinking no big deal. if we don't find any place. we just gotta go to the library park and have some fun out there... right. a whole bunch of ppl. some cake. some games. will be good.

and then i get this ping from H or someone i can't rem and this person says, since its the last days of summer S wants to go camping.. so is that ok... and am like.. ok.. am not sure who that person is, but i think my mom will like to camp.. i think so.. so u tell me where we're going and i guess i'll just get a cake and rest of party stuff out there.

and ofcourse the most logical thing happens the next day.

K. not my K , another K pings me and starts asking me about the details of the camp and where it is and if he can get someone else along.

I KNOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!
WTF.

here i am not even sure who S is.. and wondering if i'm invited to that camp and then, out of the blue i'm the sucker who's arranging the whole circus.
WAT ARE U GUYS??? ALIEN FREAKS. no wait. i'm the alien. ur the HUMAN FREAKS.


aaaaaaaaargh. my poor head will explode. how did it turn from a 2-3 hour picnic into this whole 3 day FEST in another state?????????

aaaaaaaaargh. i just feel like kicking someone. hard.

>_<

STOP LAUGHING WILLYA??? ITS NOT IN THE LEAST FUNNY. HUFF!

eLaboRate iS a wHoLe diFf wOrd hErE

A. my roomie. had her b'day yesterday

so we rented the club house of one of the appt complexes
and we had a bollywood bash night
and everyone came dressed up in ghaghras and cool clothes and stuff
and we had music
and a fog machine
and colored lights
and the smoke alarm went off
and the firefighters came
but before that we had her blindfolded and got her there
and cut the cake
and everyone danced
and my mom and kaushik's mom danced
and we ate pizzas and stuff
then party was over and we cleaned up
but the firefighters came and we had to switch off the fog machine and they left after making sure
everyone was ok.

then we went to the friends place who lived there in that appt
wait not over yet
and then while everyone was having the rest of the pizzas
and wine
oooh we had plastic wine glasses and wine
and while everyone was eating
i went back home
and set up another cake for midnight which A's bf had got
and then ppl left from S's place and came to our place
and he got her in the end
and S had to make it before P [ A's bf ] even though she had to leave after him !!
and she did
and we waited and when A walked in
there was another cake for midnight and some gifts which i wrapped 3.45 minutes before
and we cut that cake
and the whole of next day she got gifts all day long in installments
and the next day when she reached office
H had decorated her cube with 100 flowers and balloons
and a soft toy
and then i went to drop my mom at the airport in the evening [ cali trip ] and when i got back
we all wore nice clothes and went for dinner
but all places were closed
so we reached exactly 10 minutes late to 2 places and cudnt get seated
and went to a 3rd place
and there wasnt much as the kitchen was closing
but we ate some awesome appetizers
and filled our stomach
and came home
and collapsed in a heap
and so i was late to office today


phew

sPrinKLEr maRaThoN

shhhhhhhhh don't tell her now, but i think my cough has got worse.
errr. yes yes i know she was threatening with dire consequences if i did something stupid to make it worse when it was finally on the bend... i mean mend.

and i know i know running through sprinklers on the lawn, to get some blasted relief from the blasted blinkin heat DOES officially qualify as stupid.

and i know, i know. mebe it was monumentally stupid. but it felt soooooooo gooooooood.
we were walking back to our place at 11 in the night. the 3 of us. and suddenly the sprinklers in the park go off. and well, you can guess what happens. obviously we run into them :)
man did we cool off fast. its AWESOME !!

ok shhh cough..... err... lets not mention this itty bitty thing. i'm sure it'll be fine tomorrow... cough...

tOo eaRLy tO riSe

no idea what they're saying, but who cares !!! :D its still hillarious !!
in more formal language, thanks to K for the video :P

on another note, i'm slowly baking out here. with temperatures now reaching 108... its official. my brain has fried.
i've taken to sleeping on my deck chair. like a mummy. with my hands folded on my stomach and not moving an inch all night. coz
a. i'm gonna fall off the chair
b. i'm gonna fall off the chair...

and if that isn't funny enough for u. at 7 AM bright and early i can hear her all bright and ready and chirpy and sunshiny. groan.

"hey, wake up." [ prodding me on the shoulder. ]
"mmmphhpppph." [ me emitting muffled protest to this manhandling and unearthly hour wake up call. its only 7 for god's sake. let. me. sleep. ]
"heyy, wake up. u gotta eat this raw onion with honey."
"gaak. groaaaaaaaan. gaaaaaaaah." [ my mouth will stink all day. i absolutely refuse to eat it. ]
"heyy wake up. u slept for 9 hours already!! get up. that's way to much. now you're just being lazy."
"mmph" [ can't rollover. but i'm rolling over in my head. let me sleeeeeeeeeeep. ]

"here. just eat this. then u can sleep" [ who are we kidding. ur whole system will be so on fire, you'll run to the bath and sit under a cold shower. ]
"no no let me sleep. 15 minutes more." [ groooooaaaaaaaan. ]

"u know, then in ur husband's house, u know wat ppl will say? ppl will say ur the laziest... < voice trailing off >" [ oh god not again. think happy thoughts. think happy thoughts. murder is a sin. murder is a sin. murder on a wednesday is a sin. ]

"heyy get up. or i'll kick you" [ kicks/kinda pushes me and finds out i don't budge that easy or roll over or fall of...i'm just too walrusy embedded kinds ]

"ok i know how to make sure you get up. for sure sure. if u don't get up this very minute, i'm gonna come there and give u a big hug and a kiss"

"WHOOOOAAA hold on a sec" [ i'm up. and locked myself in the bathroom. pheeeeew narrow escape. sheeeeesh ]

LoCked hOrNs

so imagine if you will, what happens, when my mom-force collides with my roommate A-force??

oooooooh

hehehehehe

its pretty good. female dynamics was always interesting.
[ trust me its hillarious. like watching 2 alpha wolves fighting for supremacy over a wolf pack ]

now on one side u have someone who's used to being the alpha female for the last couple of yrs. one of the only females in the group. [ forget alpha some ppl wudnt even classify me as female... ] and on the other side u have .... my mom. who's just plain darn used to getting her own way. everywhere.

so then when u have A telling my mom not to use that glass in the microwave or not to use something else here or not do something. or giving instructions.

hehehehe
well someone isn't pleased.

and me? i'm just sitting back and enjoying the undercurrents.

its even more hillarious when they start discussing coconut. whoever heard of arguments over coconut powder???

:D

"ha!! who needs her coconut, i can buy my own coconut", and my mum rushes off to the store.
"ha!! as if i've never seen a microwave in my life! who is she to tell me i can't put her glass inside a microwave?? gimme 500 dollars. i'll go buy all the stuff i need !!!"
"aaha! i've been using all this even before she was born!! i've forgotten more about this stuff than she even knows in the first place"

aaaah thou female. so complex. so convoluted. so passive aggressive.
how can we live with you?? how can we live without... no actually the first part's it.

toO maNy unBearABLes

let me describe this pain to u.

its like a knife being stuck in my stomach and someone is sticking it.

no no no its not emotional. its the physical pain of it.

its the pain that we go through for the wonderful ***** privilege of progeny later on.

now i'm sitting on the couch. in the middle of a bleedin heat wave [ its a bleedin 103 outside today ] and then u have the absolute gall to come and tell me , since i'm getting 'on' in years i shouldnt practice birth control the first yr of my marriage and have a kid IMMEDiately?????

so i calmly looked at her and said, u know biologically one does not need to wait for the wedding. the wedding date can. in fact. become the giving birth date.
turned my head back straight and continued to watch tv.

yup. lady. if u think u can continue for the rest of my life to tell me what u want...


WAT? U WANT KIDS??? ABSOLUTELY IMMEDIATELY?? THEN JUST GET USED TO THE IDEA OF A SOMALIAN OR KOREAN ADOPTED GRANDCHILD.
coz lady, don't push me hard. i'm this close to losing it and walking into the pacific ocean.

someone pour me a vodka.

ps: all hillsboro shops are out of air coolers. out of stock. zip. nada. there are no ACs in the houses here, coz apparently the weather is so wonderful, it NEVER gets too hot. u know? with all the trees.
ya right.

wat we need right now. is a good global level ________________

oNCE eVeRY dAy

oh god. egad. atleast before? i was woken up at 5 AM only on sundays.

now? now its EVERYDAY.

so there its barely light out, and i'm being shaken to wake up and take a bath.
apparently 'girls' need to do that. wake up at the crack of dawn and take a bath and say a prayer and touch ur husbands feet and then enter the kitchen. that's how 'girls' get bodily strength [ ?? ]

[ frozen horrified expression as i was listening to this. sorry K, but if you're ACTUALLY expecting this... welll oh ha ha ha. boy are u in for a reality check ]

meanwhile, my mum goes on and on.. bustling in and out of the room and folding clothes.... and walking in... and walking out.... and i can hear chopping... chooping? why is there chopping sounds?? why is someone cooking so early in the morning ???? i open one eye and blink at the blinkin clock... groan its not even 6:30 yet!

and while i'm still half asleep, i keep getting these vague home remedies for cough thrust in my face.

"here, take this. this is good for u"
take it and down it without a second thot. someone needs to leave now.
"oh god its bitter. wat the heck is it???"
"fresh cut ginger with honey"
"gaaaaaaaak. ok i'll get up in an hour" < and i just roll over >

"here take this."
i ate something else and now i can't rem wat it was.

"here eat a tomato" [ ?? wat?? ok ok don't ask too many questions. its only 7:25. i'm eating that darn tomato if it means i can get a few more minutes of uninterrupted sleep... ]

"here , eat breakfast"
"waaaat. shudnt i atleast like... wake up first. groan. just leave it here"

8:00 AM. my mom is done with all her work for the day and is sitting on my bed and staring at me. i open my other eye.

"what?"
"i'm bored."
"what?"
"i want to go back"

oh brilliant.

d, hEaL thYSeLf

oh so you thought , mebe the QoD had no more disasters to report. mebe that's why she isn't online so much. mebe that's why she isn't writing anymore ?
oh ha ha good one Wilson. that's a good joke.

now lets see... how can i put it??
briefly? succintly? in sublime fashion? in short?
my. mother. is. here.

..

..

..

..


oooooooookaaaaaaaaaaay. now that you've fallen off that chair and managed to climb back up again... she's been here a week. I've cried more times this week than i had the first half of the year. i've had severe acidity, or what not. severe side effects from my hormonal meds. oh i had hormonal meds. oh i was soooo hormonal.
then i got this mild cough, which turned into a major cough. and then a major fever with all the shivering and works and laid up in bed like a 14th century maiden from medieval england. mother nature visits and this time i'm leaking like a blinkin broken faucet on steroids and oh! what's this? there's no water in the house coz a pipe in front of the house burst !!!

:O

okkkkk. now take a deep breath and relax. move those shoulders. rotate them around. ppl have started calling me irritable these days. now now now, i admit i've been a lil off my game..... i've got a few things going on my plate here... and i don't chose to write when i'm like that. or like this or watever. but u got to admit.
this has been a reaaaallly bad week. i mean REALLY.

but its pretty funny. few weeks ago, while i was basking in that glorious sunshine and reading my book... and generally relaxing... if u had told me bout this week, i'd have spit in your face, picked my books and run away screaming!!!

but
(hic)

here's to monday. which is tomorrow.

mebe the next week won't be so mad... i mean bad. eh?

bLisSfuLly unConSCioUs

now i don't know if these are actual questions in you're brain that you are curious about.
or you're just asking them to get my goat.

so i'm gonna list all the questions i've heard so far and i'll keep coming back to this till dec.

-"omg, how can you go only a week before you're wedding!!?? what about shopping??!! what about your sari??!! u need a min of 6 weeks" [ honey , its called an EFF*** JOB. i don't have vacation. and who the heck wants to spend 3 months shopping!! ]

-"so should i book the mehendi guy?? omg ur not at all showing any interest. i seem to be more interested than you" [ are u kidding me??? its frickin 6 months away. chuck the mehendi. there will be NO mehendi ]

-"so what about the jewelry...i'm thinking this..." < eyes glazed over > [ omg i havent mutated to some earth human female creature who's actually interested in this ... this... omg get her off of me! ]

-"so how's the wedding prep going"

-"so how's the wedding prep going"

..
..
..

-"so hows the ....." [ 98461th time i've been asked in last 2 months. the accurate response wud be "uhhhhh wat prep?", what i really want to do is hit someone on the head.... ]

wat? just coz i'm getting married, you thot i had morphed into this giggly dreamy eyed girl who'd sit and pore over bridal .. clothes? gowns? skirts?? flowers?
you thought that i'd be dreaming of this day since i turned 12 or watever and sigh and plan my dream wedding?? < gag >
or you thought i wouldn't hit you on the head, if you talked about shopping for more than 20 minutes in a day?? [ oh u thought wrong baby, let me just find that pan ]

sorry. my violent tendencies seem to have increased. marriage has unfortunately not made me softer or calmer or smoother even in temperament. in fact while i'm bombarded with endless questions for which i most definitely have zero answers to. i'm left wondering.... should i chew a rope in frustration or should i just take up kick boxing. maybe i should do kick boxing. oooh i shud so do kick boxing.

and you wonder , why i'm taken to grinding my teeth and giving that pained i-wish-i-was-anywhere-but-here smile.
well.
wonder no more my friend. but in fact if you were truly my friend, u wud kindly take a hammer and knock me on the head unconscious for the next 6 months.

yup.

oh god. u know the situation is bad, when ur hoping to be out unconscious for the next 6 months.

oooooh ur just watching me squirm and laughing ur head off aren't you???

sOoThe wiTh muSic

:D
oh come on, haven't you heard this song b4? it's hillarious!! jim morrison at his best... The Doors - touch me.

********
animated random movie clip sent by M

check that out, its hillarious !

********
sorry. no can do. can't write amazing witty and funny posts when i'm cranky , irritable and feeling downright mean. being sick does not sit well with me. no nopes not at all. i'm just gonna sleep. sleep it off.

dAnciNg tO a diFferENt tUne

ok so this is nothing related to the song, the spirit of the song.. nothing... nothing at all.

so we go to a dace club/lounge something sat night. was i just complaining that nothing really happens to me nowadays????
:O

9:15 PM
well i was all tucked in my bed, reading this mystery...exhausted after my day spent basking in the sun in the library park on a blanket and with a pillow :P and i get this call. from P.

"heyy, how bout a dance club?"
"uhhhh... not really. am in the middle of this ..."
"oh god!! will you.... like look alive. come ON"
"hmmm , [ i did promise to be a 'yes man' from now on.. and i had this heavy dinner that i need to burn off... ] oh all right. i'll do it"
"yaay. k get ready. we're leaving at 10:30"

10:56 PM
still no sign of these guys. am almost ready to turn in , when they all barge in and hustle me out the door. the 5 of us. we're out the door , on our way towards portland downtown and to a dance club!!
each of us tries to one up the other...
"i've been here for 2 yrs and this is my first time to a club!"
"i've been here 8 months and this is my 4th time going to downtown for anything"
"i'm better than all u losers, atleast ive been here only 4 months"

sooo....
we go there and there is this line like half way round the block. our jaws hit the floor. and my knees already begin to ache. [ jeez man i'm just growing too old for this ] but we stand , and chat up. and the only way we get ahead is that at 15 min intervals, the ppl in front of us, give up and leave. [ yaay! ]
when we're 3 groups away from the door. we suddenly overhear the 'guy' telling someone else, they take only cash :O
waaaat

11:43 PM
we don't have cash!! uh oh. ok one go to the left, one to the right and 2 ppl stay where we are to hold our place in the line.

S: "where r they going??? [ at P's retreating back ] they accept card man. i know that they do most places"
me: "yeah, but u see the guy just told they don't. so these guys.."
S: "no, but they accept cards man. i'm pretty sure ..."
me: "yes, but that's what i'm telling you.. right now they don't.."
S: "but they.."
me: "god woman!! they said they don't!! wat r u arguing with me for?? i'd happily accept your card you know!!"
S: shuts up. phew.

uh oh. we're next and 3 ppl are missing. and uh oh. now wat.
and while i start almost hyper ventillating. the guy kindly sayas they got an ATM inside. [ dude didnt u just send my friends on a wild goose chase searching for an ATM the last time we asked you , if u had an ATM inside?? ]
so we call these folks back. right on time. coz they hadn't found the ATM and were about to get in the car and drive off to find the nearest ATM [ really?? ]
so we're in. we've paid. and all that stuff.

and we go to the dance floor.
oh god.

12:15 PM
look at all these ppl. and the lights. oww my eyes. u know if i had epilepsy , these lights are just seizures waiting to happen... but b4 i cud yell that joke in S's ear...i'm bumped by these dude grinding against some dudette.
"oh sorry. < bump > excuse me. sorry. < bump > excuse me < shove > sorry. excuse me < push > oh god. too many ppl. must. get. out."

well then. H tells us the back wud be less crowded and we manage to get there. in one piece. without accidentally feeling anyone. [ thank god! ] and there are the liiights and the music. and i feel the beginnings of a mild headache. but i'm determined to enjoy myself. [ heyy. this is supposed to be fun and i'm no oldy poldy aunty figure ]
so we dance... which is nice for like 5 minutes. coz we have some space and we're doing ok. and i like to dance.. [ yes yes i do. now stop rolling on the floor and laughing will ya? its not THAT funny!! ]
and the dude's decide to get a drink. so they try to tell us, and we don't understand, so they tell us through the age old sign language. and we're like ok. that's ok. go get ur drink. we'll be here. so we nod our heads.

now its S, A and me. the girls. while P and H have gone to the bar.
and we're dancing. this is nice.... and we dance.

..

after some time i see A has closed her eyes to get into the spirit of things and is dancing away to glory. moving her ass in all her joy while she doesn't know it, but she's kind of giving 2 black guys behind her a really nice show [ my back is to the wall. hey! i'm AWARE of who's around me 360 deg ALL the time babe ]
and i'm like 'shhh u better come this way, u don't wanna give a free lap standing dance to random folks in the club.. and girl.. she's refusing to come this way.... and i give up. i mean what do i care, if this black dude, thinks A's coming on to him. ooops wait u better come this way RIGHT NOW. he's really looking at ur ass. so i bend to her ear and yell. "UR ASS IS IN HIS FACE"
sorry needed something drastic to get her attention.

on my other side S is swaying like a graceful willow and routinely bumping into passing guys.. [ now i don't know if the guys were passing coz she was swaying like a graceful willow.... ]
and then this guy comes out of nowhere and holds her hand.

oh yaeah... she freaked out.

and i turned to look watsup. and this black dude is standing there and asking her for a dance. now i'm confused. A still hasn't opened her eyes. and i don't want to butt in and answer for S and tell the guy to shoo away. so she looks at me with a grimace and i really can't read her. so i'm not sure if she's willing but i'm busy shaking my head in a no.. and he's like
"come oonnnn one dance. you're in a club, just one dance" and she's like smiling and we're trying to say no. the 2 of us. and then A opens her eyes and by now he's like. "all 3 of u. just one dance.." and we're like. oh god how do we get rid of this dude.. and we're like.. "uhhhh okkkkk"
and he's right next to me and starts dancing. and i'm like
"DUDE WAT THE F*** KEEP YOUR CROTCH TO URSELF"
:O

ok now i'm in a standing fetal position. hunched up on myself.
:O

gud lord. i thought u meant DANCE. not .. now... watever ur doing.. < me spluttering > and A sees my horrified expression frozen on my face. and finally comes alive, leans towards the guy and says "our boyfriends are at the bar, we're just waiting for them"
which is like VERY GOOD A. and now the guy says "aah ok. theh enjoy urself ladies and walks away"

PHEW!
EEWW.

well it wasn't as bad as all that. prob just not more than 3 seconds. but still.

eeeeew.

and then S taps me on the shoulder and says, lets go to the middle of the crowd. more ppl there. and i'm like " ARE U INSANE?? why wud u want to gyrate with random strangers rubbing against u. ugh. really? i mean really?" and she reads my look pretty accurately and shuts up. [ obv i don't belong in a epilepsy siezure causing club ]

and then H comes back and i grab and hold on to him for dear life. ok ok we're going to sit at this table, coz P is really hungry and hasn't had dinner... alright. but heyy isn't the club gonna close down in like an hour and we're not gonna be able to da... oh alright watever. and we go to this table. nice. and then the orig 3 ask for snaps. and i'm like really? really? photographs? inside a club? and ur not happy with the one i just took coz u don't look good in it? really?? how good do u expect the snaps with this lighting??
so i try a cuople of different modes in the camera. hit the jackpot at indoor, and take some 'satisfactory' one's. man these photograph maniacs are wearing me thin by now.

so they have the fish and the chicken and watever. and i'm ..actually don't know what i was doing. just ppl watching. i guess. like watching random ppl hookup and hit on each other...S wanted to meet guys and i'm trying to wrap my brain around that concept. these guy? THESE drunk and grinding with other females guys??? she wanted to meet THEM??

1:36 PM
so we're finally done eating. we still got 20 min. but now everyone's full and sleepy [ oh brilliant. mebe u want me to burp u too.. u babies ]
and we go on the floor. and we had about 5-10 good min of dancing. before the DJ suddenly switches to the slow songs.

damn. none of us know wat to do now. i mean really. wat the.... A and P are the wierdest couple possible. coz A continues to close her eyes and dance with her shoulder to her bf. and unfortunately P is no longer hungry and has some whiskey in him. so he's in the mood, i think and i'm sorry. but i'm busy laughing my head off. :P

and we wait. P thinks there's usually a good song right in the end. while H says naah DJ's winding down. and i'm like.. lets just go. coz..

uh oh
uh oh

right behind A. uh oh. we see a guy-a girl-and a guy. and this is NOT GOOD
>_<
coz they're .. gud lord.

and then i turn the other way and i see 2 women ... lets just say, getting realllly comfortable with each other :O
and now everywhere i look its ppl ... uuhhhh doing stuff. which i really don't want to see. and now there's A gawking at the ppl. and her jaw has already hit the floor. so i'm pulling on P's hand. ok that's it. lets go man. lets go.
and H is laughing his head off. and i'm like lets all go. and they want to wait for the end of the evening song. and i'm like wat the.... why are we staying back to watch live porn. and this is not chennai clubs dude. dude THERE IS NO fast song in the end..

2:03 PM
and we finally leave.

phew.

ofcourse we get a bit lost on the way home from downtown [ i was navigating wasn't i? ] and reach home at 3.
all i had was 2 glasses of water in the club and i stumble out of bed the next day with a raging headache. at 11:36 in the afternoon !!!!
:O
wat the... where did my sunday morning go??? i want it BACK !!


aaaaah gud times.

iDLi's hErE we coMe

oooooooooh
ive been having dreams of idli sambar the whole of next week :D

ooooooh my mommy's coming. i am SO having idli sambar everyday for 3 months. ok 2. as 66 days.
ooooooh take THAT you stupid country, u kept me away from my beloved idli sambar for 2.5 years. HA!!

ok ok i know u can get it in any restaurant. but seriously who can bear to stomach that??? i want the traditional udupi style. with the hint of jaggery and all.
ooooooohhhhhhh no more idli sambar in dreams.

only in reality, only :D awesomeness

yEhi Hai ziNDagi

so for some reason i'm hooked on to that show by tyra banks. heyy models are ppl too you know! and what? u think you're smarter than them aren't you?

well excccuuuuuse me. but any lady who can go from being a model, to almost owning a tvnetwork. [ wait does she ?? ] and producing and directing and inventing and influencing so many ppl... well model or not , she can't be dumb. she sure's smarter than us...

but those shows are interesting. i mean really, not a big fan of reality tv shows. except out here, u can see some interesting photography. AND you can really see how even the most beautiful ppl are full of neuroses and insecurities. and how sometimes even the ugliest girls can look good in a snap. [ oooh good tips there ]
:D
but see here. a bunch of neurotic, self absorbed girls in a house. almost bordering on crazy, and.. and.. well nothing. i just find it interesting that's all....
besides its summer u know. what can you do, when you're so sick you can't even stand up straight. though i feel a lot better today. not like i'm gonna fall off my chair any sec...so that's when u start watching random shows.. but if i ever start watching shows like hitched or dicthed [ wat the... ], then pls, can u take that gun and just shoot me?? or hit me on the head with it ??

still got half the summer left ! yaay ^_^
ooooh gotta post those pics of east OR and rest of the places.
i really need a better way to organize my pics... hmmm... ooh oooh guess what? i'm headed to the library today !!
YAAY!!
after so long :)

*****
so my mom's coming. oh god.
no further comments.

*****
so L's coming to stay with me :)
that's so cool..
nice to have ppl around.

******
on another note, i can see my dreams of an idle life just fade away. pace picking up. oh god is this what they mean about being sucked into the vortex of life?
gaaaaaaaaahk.

:P

******
almost had an argument with N the other day. well... managed to fob it off, in the very last minute. well the whole thing started with her assertion that Pepsi as a company does NOT need to exist.
well now, i don't know about not needing to exist. i mean come on. atleast they're 100% energy friendly. they like self sustainable or something.
and wat about the ppl they employee. sure thing they're happy pepsi exists.
and what about quaker oats !! :O
i love my granola , with honey and nuts quaker oats cereal. i'd be very very sad if THAT went away.

my assertion was that pepsi like most of the stuff man has come up with [ in his infinite brilliance ( stupidity ?? ) is just part of the natural cycle of civilization and destruction.

heyyy sure we're destroying the planet, but i've made my peace with it. i mean u DO realize the world is coming to an end in 2012 right? until then, i dont care. make all the pepsi bottles u want... [ u can clearly see, the strain of worrying over the planet has finally cracked me in the head. and left me with a gaping hole in the middle of my head... ]

but yeah... can't really say Pepsi needs to disappear like thin smoke. Holy baloney, if something REALLy needs to go, its underwear. i mean who the heck invented that??!! or cars, [ oh apparently cars are NECESSARY to go from one place to another .. ]
or computers... or airplanes or ...or....KFC... i mean why stop with pepsi?? everyone just quit they're jobs and go back to farming for they're own food.
you DO realize that's the only TRUE planet friendly option we have??

hmmmph. yup i narrowly managed to avoid a fight with N :P

wAgiNg tHe riGht bAtTLe

oooooooh did you hear?

google and its OS and its ambitions and the very notion of running microsoft out of business??
imagine a world without microsoft. aaaaah. i actually can't. guess its been around all my life. almost.

imagine a world with no ibm, or no microsoft or no intel.
no really, i can't!!

:O

but this is cool. google. the OS. the web apps. they're really cool u know. all those apps i mean. for all the sharing and all the editing them real time together. really neat. i don't know why companies don't use more of it.
oh ya right the security thing.

i'm kind of tired. so won't be writing too much till i get better. ok?
toodles.

kEepiNg abReaST

i'm gonna build a case.

against reading the news.

now b4 u jump down my throat and rip me to shreds, u pls note that i try to read something everyday. as much as i can stomach.

but really. u tell me, that i'm much better informed. now that i know that half the world is filled with sex offenders and the other half of the world i busy dying through some kind of genocide/tyranical regime and collectively everyone is causing our planet to self-destruct. yes yes i know, that's the price of civilization. in fact the price of our existence. more and more it looks impossible that we can live with any kind of harmony with the rest of our world. and yes more and more the 2012 end of the world i've been telling you about looks inevitable. but jeez, do you have to try so hard to make the deadline??



note to self: nayan tarse, dev d.

man , have you read the news. there are SO MANY of these sick ppl around !!
its a wonder.. actually help me out here. remind me again, that we're supposed to be what? better than animals? like higher intelligence.

ARE U EFFIN KIDDING ME??? are we even ON the same planet? LOOK AT THE NEWS!! go ahead. go on.
yes yes there are stories of hope , in some remote corners of the page. but instead , what i got as headlines is some rubbish about how sat-navs are scaring britishers coz they're offended by the female voice spitting out instructions "don't turn there u moron" [ well boo hoo to u ] and then 3 stories of how these abusers were prosecuted and then the one where the kyoto protocol is not working [ oh big surprise Einsteins, even a brain dead chimpanzee knew THAT one ]...

JESUS CHRIST.

tell me again, why knowing all this is good. and how i'm so much better off to know in minute detail of what's happening in the world as compared to my ancestors who were only concerned with what happened on their street??
oh sure, half the problems we're in today is coz our ancestors only bothered with what happened on their street. and sure its gud to know the current news at the exact same moment its happening.
but this unhealthy obsession you seem to be having in keeping up with the news and then deriding people for not doing the same?
yeah. you'll know about the world ending exactly 3.4 seconds before i do... wooo hooooo_______ < abrubtly cut off >